On and On

I woke up before he did but it wasn’t surprising. I hadn’t slept much in the last week anyway. I tried not to move much while I maneuvered around so I could see his face.

I smiled lightly at his sleeping figure. The comforter was pulled up to his chin and his hand peeked out from under the thick fabric, his finger laid curled around his nose. His full lips twitched up at the corners, revealing a perfect half smile. My eyes moved past his tinged pink cheeks to see his eyes lazily shut, his long eyelashes barely grazing his tanned skin. I smiled at his bangs flopped over his forehead. I reached out and brushed my fingers through his soft hair pushing it off his face so I could admire him.

He wasn’t just handsome or just good looking. He was beautiful. Gorgeous, if you will. I could stare at him 24/7 for the rest of my life and find something every second that made him that much more beautiful to me.

I held my breath when he shifted and hummed in his sleep turning over and pulling himself closer to me. I smiled and leaned into him, feeling my eyes getting heavy again.

It felt like my eyes hadn’t been closed for any more than a couple minutes before I heard crying, instantly recognizing it as Milo. I pushed myself up on my elbows to see him, squinting my eyes in the harsh sunlight, seeing Joe sitting on the edge of the bed trying to calm down our weeping son.

“What’s the matter?” I mumbled.

Joe turned back to look at me and sighed, smiling softly.

“He doesn’t want to go with mom and dad today.”

I nodded, Denise and Paul were supposed to come pick up the kids while we got ready to go t to the hospital. That’s right. Today was the day. We’d finally have the newest Jonas.

“Baby.” I smiled holding out my arms.

Milo rubbed his eyes and Joe helped him onto the bed. He crawled over to me and curled his body around mine.

“I-I wanna go with you and daddy.” He choked out in between sobs.

I shushed him softly, stroking his shaggy hair trying to calm him down. When his cries finally died down to small whimpers I tilted his chin up to look at me and wiped his tear stained cheeks.

“You only have to go with MawMaw and PawPaw for a little while. Then you can come see mommy and daddy and your new brother. Can you be a big boy and help watch over Braden and McKenna for me?”

His little eyes shone up at me and a smile pulled at his lips. He took a glance at Joe before looking back up at me and nodding.

“Yeah.” He confirmed.

I smiled and kissed his forehead. “Alright. Go get dressed.”

“I love you mommy.”

“Love you too.” I ruffled his hair.

He jumped off the bed and scurried out the door and I heard him yelling to Braden and McKenna how he got to be in charge today.

Joe turned and smirked at me and pushed himself on his hands and knees, crawling across the bed until he was over me, my large stomach rubbing against his flat one. I grinned up at him and he leaned down rubbing his nose along mine.

“Are you excited?” I whispered, brushing the hair away from his forehead.

He nuzzled his face into my neck and I felt him grinning. “Mmhmm.” He mumbled, “Are you?”

I laughed a little. “To have him? Yes. To hold him? Finally? Yes. To get cut open in order to do so? Not really.” I shrugged, running my fingers through his hair.

“Awh.” He fell next to me, propping himself on his elbow, looking down at me. “I’ll be there with you.”

“I know.” I smiled. “And I couldn’t be happier.”

I could feel the excitement radiating off of him and I was starting to feel it too. I was ready. I was beyond ready. In the next few hours I’d be able to hold my new son and it’d be incredible.

--

Joe tangled his fingers through mine, keeping a tight hold on my hand and his eyes glued on the road. A smile stayed plastered to his face and his left leg bounced with anticipation. I smiled at his antsy tactics and rubbed my thumb over his knuckles, trying to do anything to calm him down.

Once we checked in and I was laying in the operating room of the maternity ward, hooked up to an IV and heart monitor and wearing a hospital gown, waiting for the epidural to kick in, Joe slid into the room wearing mint green scrubs the matching hat tied around his head and a huge smile, he confidently walked over to me and planted his lips square on mine. I wound my fingers into his hair, softly stroking the long hair at the base of his neck while he kissed me.

He pulled back a couple minutes later, his chest rising and falling deeply with each breath he took.

“How much longer?” I asked while he pulled a chair next to the bed.

He looked at the clock mounted on the wall, “Dr. Nikels said we’d get started around 11.”

I smiled seeing we only had about 15 minutes and beamed up at him, laying our intertwined hands on my belly that I couldn’t really feel anymore.

“Are you ready?” I whispered, focusing my eyes on his. I saw them light up and he freed his hand from mine, rubbing large circles across my stomach with his fingertips.

“Beyond ready.” He breathed.

We were quiet for a few minutes, both of us waiting out the anticipation of the new addition to our family, trying to focus on anything but the clock on the wall and how slow it seemed to be ticking.

I stuck to watching Joe and the places his eyes wandered. I watched as the familiar smirk lifted on his face and I stroked my fingers across his to get his attention.

“What?” I asked softly.

He smiled and stood, fishing something out of his back pocket, plopping back down in the chair.

“Close your eyes.”

“Joooe.” I whined, not really feeling like playing games.

He pouted and I gave in, letting my eyes close.

He shuffled around for a second before I heard him beckon me to open my eyes and gasped when I did. There laid across his hand in front of me was my necklace. The one that contained a heart embedded with each of the most precious people in my life’s names.

I felt tears rise in my eyes when I noticed the new addition on the end bearing the name Hudson.

I wrapped both of my hands around his and pulled it to my lips, layering kisses across his hand before meeting his eyes.

“Thank you baby.” I smiled through my tears, lifting my head so he could secure the necklace around my neck.

He leaned back, brushing the stray tears from my cheeks and kissing my forehead.

“How’d you get it?” I asked letting my fingers glide across the cold jewelry, trying to remember if I ever noticed not having it on.

His fingers softly combed through my hair and smiled, “I ordered the heart weeks ago, but I took the necklace off of you last night and hoped you wouldn’t notice it was gone with everything going on today.”

I smiled, “You were right. I didn’t notice.”

He leaned down to peck my lips and I looped my arms round his neck, lifting my head slightly to whisper in his ear.

“I love you so much.”

I felt him smile into my shoulder and felt him pull back. His eyes locked on mine and the burning passion flickering in them sent a shiver through my body.

I heard the door to the room open but didn’t care enough to look away from him.

“I love you too.” He said only loud enough for me to hear.

Our moment was broken by Dr. Nikels’ loud voice.

“Kayden, do you feel this?”

I blinked a few times trying to remember where I was and looked up at him, “Wh—uh no, no. Nothing.”

He smiled, “Good. Ready to have this baby?”

I looked up at Joe, blindly finding his hand and nodding my head, “More than anything.”

The procedure was all in all quite painless and rather quick. I knew by the way Joe would wince and squeeze my hand as they pulled and pushed to get the baby out that I would feel it later, but in that moment I couldn’t have been happier.

Joe was standing by to cut the umbilical cord and was also the first to hold our new son. I saw the tears well in his eyes as he stared down at the small, surprisingly calm baby in his arms and instantly tears filled my eyes.

“He’s perfect.” He whispered, laying the small baby on my chest. I cradled him against me and looked up at Joe who was now huddled over the both of us.

“I love him.” I cried, letting the pulsing emotions break out of their restraints. “Joe, he’s gorgeous.” He smiled down at me, wiping at his eyes and planting a trail of kisses down my hairline.

“I know.” He murmured, reaching out to stroke his tiny arm.

Dr. Nikels grinned at the scene in front of him from the end of the bed and went to work on fixing me back up while a nurse took Hudson from us to clean him up and get his weight and length, promising that he’d be in our room in less than an hour.

--

Once assigned a room in the maternity ward, and Joe changing to more comfortable clothes, he was climbing into the small hospital bed next to me, per my request when a nurse came in asking for the birth certificate information.

I confidently told her the name Joe and I had picked out, “Hudson Tyler Jonas.” And she smiled, congratulating the both of us, telling us it wouldn’t be long before we were able to see him again.

Joe nuzzled into my shoulder and took hold of my hand, whispering how proud of me he was and how much he loved me into my ear and the time spent from then until the door creaked open was spent with us snuggled together, whispering back and forth how much we loved the other and how happy we were.

Hudson was back with us, curled into the crook of my arm between Joe and I, both of us staring at him while his soft eyelids laid lazily closed just admiring him. I was trying to memorize every aspect of his face and figure out who he looked more like.

“He looks just like you.” Joe smiled, letting his eyes meet mine for just a second before we both turned our attention back to our son.

I smiled, seeing that he did indeed have a lot of my features. A tiny yawn pushed through his lips and he stretched in my arms, his big eyes opening and darting between Joe and I. I saw Joe smile and lift his finger brushing it under his chin.

Five tiny fingers reached out to grab the tip of his finger and I closed my eyes to keep in the tears.

This, was worth it all, worth the tears, and the vomiting and the hot flashes and the back pains and swollen ankles and weird cravings, seeing the connection between the two of them and feeling the same thing myself. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.