‹ Prequel: The Good Life
Sequel: Against All Odds ›
On and On
Chapter 7
I laid in bed wishing I had handled myself better. I was no longer a kid who could rely on her boyfriend to stay in bed with her all day when she was feeling down. I was older. That struck a nerve and reality hit me hard. I was grown up. No, I may not have been old, but I was a grown up. I had bills and responsibilities, three of them with the names McKenna Milo and Braden. Four if you count Joe, but he was more like a priority to me…a want…a need.
I laid there, only hearing my own sniffles, rubbing my hand over my stomach. I felt the bed shift and his body press into mine, his arms snaking tightly around my frame. I felt the shock register on my face but then I smiled as his lips sponged along my neck. “Where’d you go?” I asked, turning in his arms. He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, “Out for a while.” I let my eyes fall to his neck, “With who?” I asked slowly. I felt his body tense. “Why do you think I was with someone?” I shrugged, “I don’t know.” He pulled back after a minute, “You still don’t trust me do you?” He asked, narrowing his eyes. I made no move to respond, I didn’t want him to think I didn’t trust him.
“I wasn’t with anyone, Kayden. I went out alone. I was by myself.” His face set into a hard expression. “I—I just—I know I’m being difficult—” I said in a small shaky voice, “And I figured you’d want someone to t-talk to and—” His eyes drifted shut, “Unbelievable.” He breathed, “After everything, you still don’t trust me?” The hurt shone in his eyes and I was quick to shake my head, “No Joe—I was just sayin—” But he pulled away from me. I quickly sat up, “Joe—I wasn’t saying it like that.” I begged for him to listen to me.
He bent down, picking something up off the floor, he straightened up and looked down at them, shaking his head before throwing a gorgeous bouquet of flowers down on the bed next to me. The force he threw them with caused an array of petals to fall off and scatter across the comforter, “I went out and got those for you. I guess I better go buy some for my girlfriend now, huh?” He asked coldly, turning and walking from the room. “Joe!” I called, “Joe, No!” I chased him down the steps, “Please, Joe.” I begged while he grabbed his keys. The tears were flowing freely from my eyes.
He said nothing, slipping his feet into his tattered Vans. “Joe.” I sobbed, “Please don’t leave.” I wrapped my fingers around his forearm as softly as I could, “Please.” I practically whispered through my tears. He stopped all movement and I thought I had gotten through but his other hand wrapped tightly around my wrist, hus grip tightened and he yanked my hand away from his arm, his fingers staying grasped tightly around my wrist. He said nothing, just stared at me, his grip getting harder.
“Joe.” I coughed, more tears coming. “Y-your h-hurting me.” I cried, and I found myself actually being scared of him, the thought sending me into a fit of hysterics. Never, not once the whole time we’ve been together had I ever been scared of him. Never had a seen that cold, angry look in his eyes directed towards me. But I was, I was scared. I knew I had hit a nerve with the whole other woman/trust issue. I asked the question, and he defended himself of being with someone else. I believed him, I did. If he said it, I believed him. I trusted him with my life, he could tell me lie after lie all day long and I would believe every word that rolled off his perfect lips.
His eyes went wide and he let go of me, my small fingers gently wrapped around my wrist, holding it protectively to my chest. I slowly walked backwards to until I made contact with the wall, sliding down to the floor, no longer able to hold myself up. I saw his legs stay planted in their spot, not wanting to look up at his face, I focused on the small white tag on the side of his shoe. I saw his shoes moving slowly towards me and my breath hitched as I backed farther into the corner, cowering away from him. He stopped dead in his tracks.
--
It’s strange how quickly a person’s entire attitude can change in such a short amount of time. Once realization had washed over Joe, he dropped his angry stare and relaxed his body. The thoughts of him leaving that had been so vivid in his mind mere minutes before had vanished. He knew he had hurt the one he loved more than anything and once that had dawned on him, all he had wanted to do was fix it. Him being mad at her was no longer a concern in his mind, but the fact that she was cowering in a corner, huddling away from him, because she was scared of him, was like a stab to the heart.
--
“Kayden.” He said his voice shaky. I shook my head, “Ma-maybe y-you sh-should l-leave.” I choked out. I waited a few silent moments before I heard him speak, “And leave you alone? No.” He said finally. I wanted to laugh in his face, not only ten minutes ago, he was trying to leave, but now he wanted to stay. I took a deep breath, “I don’t th-think I want to be around you r-right now.” I said wrapping my arms around my legs that were tucked under my chin.
I stood, almost unable to stand on my own due to my shaking body. I walked up the stairs, gripping the railing the whole way up, Joe trailing behind me. He stood in the doorway as I walked into the bedroom, grabbing a small weekender bag and throwing a few pairs of sweats and t-shirts, my toothbrush and other must-haves into it. I shoved past him, “What are you doing?” He asked quickly, worry dripping from his words.
I quickly made my way down the stairs and to the back door, grabbing my keys, Joe quickly appeared beside me, “Kayden, where are you going.” I shook my head, “If you won’t leave, I will, I just—I can’t be ar-around you right now.” He snatched the keys from my hand, “Kayden, please no. Neither of us are going anywhere.” He said as if he was informing me of something. I held out my hand, “Please, Joe.” I asked, tears unwillingly slipping from my cheeks, “Just please let me go.”
A sickness settled on his face and he let his hand fall, heavily onto mine, leaving my keys sitting in my palm. I let my fingers close around the cold metal and turned laying a hand on the doorknob. Before I could open the door, his arms were wrapping around me from behind, his face burrowing into the side of my neck, his hands gliding over my stomach. “Please.” He whispered, “Just please me careful.” I nodded and then his lips were at my ear, “I love you.” He breathed and even though I couldn’t see him, the cracking of his voice told me he was crying. I took a deep, shaky breath, “I love you.” I managed to whisper before I opened the door, making a bee line for my car, to make my escape from the driveway.
Little did he know, those three words that left his mouth, those 8 letters, made it so much harder for me to drive away. I knew he loved me, he knew I loved him. Why I couldn’t just stay there with him was a mystery to me. But that’s what I always did. I always ran back to him and everything went back to normal, but the problem was never truly fixed, just forgotten, both of us left to deal with it own our own. This was different. I needed time for me. Time to think. Time to be mad. Time to get over it. 'time for myself. I needed it, but I didn’t want to walk away. I didn’t want to…but I did.
I had been crying for God knows how long, and before I knew what was going on, I was passing the sign that said 198 miles to Salt Lake City. I sighed, feeling somewhat relieved, the only place I felt free and peaceful. The only place I could go and think and just be.
I laid there, only hearing my own sniffles, rubbing my hand over my stomach. I felt the bed shift and his body press into mine, his arms snaking tightly around my frame. I felt the shock register on my face but then I smiled as his lips sponged along my neck. “Where’d you go?” I asked, turning in his arms. He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, “Out for a while.” I let my eyes fall to his neck, “With who?” I asked slowly. I felt his body tense. “Why do you think I was with someone?” I shrugged, “I don’t know.” He pulled back after a minute, “You still don’t trust me do you?” He asked, narrowing his eyes. I made no move to respond, I didn’t want him to think I didn’t trust him.
“I wasn’t with anyone, Kayden. I went out alone. I was by myself.” His face set into a hard expression. “I—I just—I know I’m being difficult—” I said in a small shaky voice, “And I figured you’d want someone to t-talk to and—” His eyes drifted shut, “Unbelievable.” He breathed, “After everything, you still don’t trust me?” The hurt shone in his eyes and I was quick to shake my head, “No Joe—I was just sayin—” But he pulled away from me. I quickly sat up, “Joe—I wasn’t saying it like that.” I begged for him to listen to me.
He bent down, picking something up off the floor, he straightened up and looked down at them, shaking his head before throwing a gorgeous bouquet of flowers down on the bed next to me. The force he threw them with caused an array of petals to fall off and scatter across the comforter, “I went out and got those for you. I guess I better go buy some for my girlfriend now, huh?” He asked coldly, turning and walking from the room. “Joe!” I called, “Joe, No!” I chased him down the steps, “Please, Joe.” I begged while he grabbed his keys. The tears were flowing freely from my eyes.
He said nothing, slipping his feet into his tattered Vans. “Joe.” I sobbed, “Please don’t leave.” I wrapped my fingers around his forearm as softly as I could, “Please.” I practically whispered through my tears. He stopped all movement and I thought I had gotten through but his other hand wrapped tightly around my wrist, hus grip tightened and he yanked my hand away from his arm, his fingers staying grasped tightly around my wrist. He said nothing, just stared at me, his grip getting harder.
“Joe.” I coughed, more tears coming. “Y-your h-hurting me.” I cried, and I found myself actually being scared of him, the thought sending me into a fit of hysterics. Never, not once the whole time we’ve been together had I ever been scared of him. Never had a seen that cold, angry look in his eyes directed towards me. But I was, I was scared. I knew I had hit a nerve with the whole other woman/trust issue. I asked the question, and he defended himself of being with someone else. I believed him, I did. If he said it, I believed him. I trusted him with my life, he could tell me lie after lie all day long and I would believe every word that rolled off his perfect lips.
His eyes went wide and he let go of me, my small fingers gently wrapped around my wrist, holding it protectively to my chest. I slowly walked backwards to until I made contact with the wall, sliding down to the floor, no longer able to hold myself up. I saw his legs stay planted in their spot, not wanting to look up at his face, I focused on the small white tag on the side of his shoe. I saw his shoes moving slowly towards me and my breath hitched as I backed farther into the corner, cowering away from him. He stopped dead in his tracks.
--
It’s strange how quickly a person’s entire attitude can change in such a short amount of time. Once realization had washed over Joe, he dropped his angry stare and relaxed his body. The thoughts of him leaving that had been so vivid in his mind mere minutes before had vanished. He knew he had hurt the one he loved more than anything and once that had dawned on him, all he had wanted to do was fix it. Him being mad at her was no longer a concern in his mind, but the fact that she was cowering in a corner, huddling away from him, because she was scared of him, was like a stab to the heart.
--
“Kayden.” He said his voice shaky. I shook my head, “Ma-maybe y-you sh-should l-leave.” I choked out. I waited a few silent moments before I heard him speak, “And leave you alone? No.” He said finally. I wanted to laugh in his face, not only ten minutes ago, he was trying to leave, but now he wanted to stay. I took a deep breath, “I don’t th-think I want to be around you r-right now.” I said wrapping my arms around my legs that were tucked under my chin.
I stood, almost unable to stand on my own due to my shaking body. I walked up the stairs, gripping the railing the whole way up, Joe trailing behind me. He stood in the doorway as I walked into the bedroom, grabbing a small weekender bag and throwing a few pairs of sweats and t-shirts, my toothbrush and other must-haves into it. I shoved past him, “What are you doing?” He asked quickly, worry dripping from his words.
I quickly made my way down the stairs and to the back door, grabbing my keys, Joe quickly appeared beside me, “Kayden, where are you going.” I shook my head, “If you won’t leave, I will, I just—I can’t be ar-around you right now.” He snatched the keys from my hand, “Kayden, please no. Neither of us are going anywhere.” He said as if he was informing me of something. I held out my hand, “Please, Joe.” I asked, tears unwillingly slipping from my cheeks, “Just please let me go.”
A sickness settled on his face and he let his hand fall, heavily onto mine, leaving my keys sitting in my palm. I let my fingers close around the cold metal and turned laying a hand on the doorknob. Before I could open the door, his arms were wrapping around me from behind, his face burrowing into the side of my neck, his hands gliding over my stomach. “Please.” He whispered, “Just please me careful.” I nodded and then his lips were at my ear, “I love you.” He breathed and even though I couldn’t see him, the cracking of his voice told me he was crying. I took a deep, shaky breath, “I love you.” I managed to whisper before I opened the door, making a bee line for my car, to make my escape from the driveway.
Little did he know, those three words that left his mouth, those 8 letters, made it so much harder for me to drive away. I knew he loved me, he knew I loved him. Why I couldn’t just stay there with him was a mystery to me. But that’s what I always did. I always ran back to him and everything went back to normal, but the problem was never truly fixed, just forgotten, both of us left to deal with it own our own. This was different. I needed time for me. Time to think. Time to be mad. Time to get over it. 'time for myself. I needed it, but I didn’t want to walk away. I didn’t want to…but I did.
I had been crying for God knows how long, and before I knew what was going on, I was passing the sign that said 198 miles to Salt Lake City. I sighed, feeling somewhat relieved, the only place I felt free and peaceful. The only place I could go and think and just be.