My Illegal Love Story

Secrets

There was silence in the car. The reason being that I was so shocked with fear to talk and Billie was so filled up with anger that he couldn’t get a word out either.
“You’re scaring me Billie.” I quietly said as I tried to gain grip as he speed around the corners.
“You’re scaring me to Christina.”
“What does that mean?” I asked as I watched him do a very illegal u-turn into the car park of a target store.
“Do you think I’m stupid, I think I am the only one that put two and two together when you told us you were pregnant?”
“What are you talking about Billie?” I repeatedly asked until he finally turned off the engine and looked me straight in the eye.
“It’s mine isn’t it?” he drearily asked as he slowly looked down at my stomach.
“I...I...” I couldn’t get the words out fast enough.
“FUCK.” Billie screamed at the top of his voice then quickly jumped out of the car and towards target.
“Where are you going?” I bawled to him out of the car window as I watched him briskly walk to the entrance of the shop.
“To buy some fucking razor blades.” He yelled back as he turned around and flicked both his middle fingers towards me.
At the sight of this I just fumed. I undid my seat belt, grabbed the keys and stormed my way towards him. As I reached in close enough to his body I grabbed his wrist and pull him towards me.
“I don’t know if it’s yours Billie. But I know that if your going to act like this you will have nothing to do with this baby regardless.” As I finished my sentence Billie suddenly stopped and looked at me.
“Good, because I want nothing to do with that bastard in your stomach...as far as I’m concerned, tre can have it.”
“This is not a piece of rubbish that you can just throw away. This is a child...probably your child and I’m telling you that you’re going to be a big part in its life wither its positive or not...”
“Just shut up Christina...i don’t want to hear it. We are going on tour in 5 days and I don’t want you on it...just go home.” He spat to me as his struggle free from my grasp and kept walking towards target.
I wasn’t going down without a fight...i had worked to hard for a life like this and I wasn’t about to have a baby alone. I quickly caught up with him yet again and pulled his arm back.
“Don’t talk to me like that Billie. Here you are telling me that Tré treats me badly and that if I was ever to go to you that you would be better. What happened to you?”
“You’re what happened to me. If it wasn’t for you...i would still be married, if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be living in my car right now.” Tears started rolling down his cheeks and he just broke down.
“Did 80 find out?” I nervously asked as I wiped his tears off his face.
“I DIVORCED HER.” He screamed as he looked me dead straight in the eye.
“I left her for you...but as soon as you said you were pregnant...i regretted my decision.”
“But what about the party?” I asked suspiciously
“We agreed not to tell anyone until I found a new place to stay...but she broke that rule this morning when she went and called Tré...that’s why he was home during the day.”
“Tre’s with 80?”I anxiously asked him.
“Don’t worry, I have a feeling he will keep his snake in his pants if he thinks he’s going to be a dad...”
A sudden wave of relief came over me when Billie said that...i couldn’t deal with another saga at this point in time.
“Look Billie, I need to tell you something.” I said as I dragged his arm towards the car. Slowly but surely Billie gave in and got into the car with me behind him.
“I’m leaving.” I blurted to him before he could even sit down properly.
“What?” he surprisingly asked as he locked the doors on his SUV.
“I can’t say why, but I have to. I have to be gone in 2 weeks or I’m telling you shit will hit the fan.” tears began to roll down my face as I saw Billie’s face drop.
“It’s ok...I’ll clean the fan.” he sweetly said. I knew he was trying to make me feel better, but it wasn’t working.
“Just tell me what’s wrong Christina...you can trust me, ill make everything better.” I could see the reassurance in his face but it wasn’t enough...if I told him, I would be sure to lose him once and for all.
“I can’t, but I need you to promise me something.” I asked as I tried to hold back my tears.
Billie was shocked but still nodded his head in agreement.
“You can’t tell Tré that I’m going...I’ll tell him on tour, maybe he can find another girl to fuck with.” I sadly giggled in a teary voice.
“But the baby...”
“I know, I’m not sure what I’m going to do about that, but I know one thing for sure Billie...you can’t leave 80 for me.”
I could see him get lower and lower as I went on. I knew that he was questioning his break up with his wife of almost 14 years.
“You guys have a life, children...you can’t leave that for some slut that will only be in his life for a couple of weeks.”
“You’re not getting away that quickly. If you’re leaving...I’m coming with you.” Billie said with such belief.
“I’m not leaving my babies by themselves.” He said with a grin.
“Either way you look, you’re going to be leaving your babies. Wither it be with me or 80 and your kids. Atlast you know Jakob and Joey are yours...i can’t be sure with mine.” I slowly changed my attention to my slowly expanding stomach.
“There is only one way to find out Christina.” Billie said to me as he shifted his hand to my belly.
“Take a paternity test and but everyone out of their misery.”
As soon as he said that I quickly hit his hand and moved away.
“NO, TRE CAN NEVER FIND OUT!” I screamed at the top of my voice.
“If it’s mine, I want to be involved.” Billie shrieked in return to me.
“Look, let’s say it is your Billie, then what? Are you going to just switch between families...have monthly trips to Australia?” I looked him dead straight in the eye.
“I know that Tré will love this baby like nothing else. Yes, he has children, but at least they know about me. He is ready to be a dad; he has bought the fucking stroller already...in blue and pink!”
“He’s a pig Christina.”
“A pig that loves me...a pig that will make an excellent father.”
“So...you’re just going to leave and hope he follows?”
“No Billie, I’m going to leave and hope that I never have to come back here again. If Tré wants to come...then it’s his choice, but I don’t want a husband, I don’t want a boyfriend and I certainly don’t want a baby. So until I find out what I’m going to do...nobody can know” as soon as I finished my sentence I turned my attention to Billie’s watery and red eyes.
“I love you...but right now, I am disgusted in you. You are becoming pathetic.” Billie spat to me in a weird and random turn.
“Get out of my car, you can walk home Christina.”
And before I could even answer him back, he through open the door and basically pushed me out. This was a side of Billie I had never seen.