Worlds Keep Spinning Round

Is she being serious right now? I thought to myself.

“Come on mom, that is so unfair!” I exclaimed.

“I am the adult. I decide what is fair!” my mother shot back.

“Ok, but why there? It’s the middle of nowhere!” I asked way past the brink of a meltdown.

“Exactly. You going to live with you uncle for the rest of high school is the perfect solution. Now I don’t want to hear another word about this situation, Natalie” she replied going back to her meal.

“Ugh!” was all I said. I can not believe she is making me go live with Uncle Danny. He’s cool and all but come on! Jersey? That is ludicrous! This is going to be the longest year of my life!

We finished our meal without another word about the situation. I put my dishes in the dishwasher and stormed off to my bedroom. I walked in, turned on my stereo, and flopped down on my bed with my arm over my face.

I laid there thinking for a long time. My mom had raised me all by herself ever since my dad left when I was three years old. As I got older, she started dating again. None of them stuck around long enough to become a “father figure” to me. And I was just fine with that. I liked it being just mom and me. We lived in a loft that my mom decorated with her exquisite skills. We moved to LA from NYC when I was four years old. I was a city girl at heart.

But now my mom was sending me to live with Uncle Danny in NEW JERSEY! That was all the way across the country! I have to leave behind the greatest city in the world and the most important people in my life! All because mom was “worried” about me.

I used to be a quiet child and I never caused any trouble. But that all changed when I became best friends with Nicole in elementary school. Nicole and her twin brother Todd were also raised by their mother. But she wasn’t like my mom. She left them home alone all the time and was always out working. Mom felt they weren’t the best influence for me but I didn’t think they were all that bad.

When we entered high school, we became part of the “popular crowd”. I always stayed out late, going to parties and crashing at Nicole’s house. After freshman year, me and Todd started dating. He was the best boyfriend ever. We were going on two years when it happened.

It was a dark, stormy, winter night. Nicole, Todd and me were at a friends house party. Todd had been drinking but I stayed sober since I was the designated driver. I had a really bad headache and was sitting in the dark in one of the bedrooms. I jumped as someone opened the door and a stream of light entered the room hitting me in the face. It was Todd.

“Hey hot stuff,” he said with a goofy grin on his face.

“Hey. Mind closing the door,” I replied.

“Sure.” He closed the door then walked over to where I was sitting on the bed. Without saying a word he threw himself on me and started kissing me. I went along with it for a while but then he started getting really into it. His hands were up my shirt and then moving to my pants.

“Todd, no!” I warned.

“No what?” he asked continuing what he was about to do.

“Todd, we’ve talked about this. Now stop,” I warned again.

“Aww come on baby, lighten up. Just let yourself give in to the moment,” he said ignoring me.

“No!” I yelled as I shoved him off me.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he yelled at me.

“What are you talking about?” I asked a little quieter than before. All the yelling was making my headache worse.

“You never give me any!” he replied bluntly.

I sighed. “Come on. You know I’m waiting till marriage.”

“Cut the crap. You know, I’m getting really tired of the whole ‘waiting till marriage’ bit. It’s getting old!” he said his voice getting louder and louder.

I kept my cool. “You’re just drunk. You’ve never had a problem with it before.”

“Yea, well I’m sick of it. So it’s over!” he yelled at me.

“Over?” My voice was barely a whisper.

“Yea, over,” he said grabbing his keys from my purse. “Later.”

“Where are you going?” I asked pulling on his arm.

“Over to Katie Bradley’s. Unlike you, she’s been more than happy to give me what I’ve wanted all these years,” he said in my face. He pulled his arm out of what used to be my firm grip and stormed out the door. I was in too much of a shock to try and stop him, even though he was in no condition to be driving.

I grabbed my phone out of my purse and called the first person that came to mind, my cousin Sarah, who was home from college. On the ride home it finally sunk in. Todd had cheated on me the whole time we were together. Then the waterworks started. Sarah, who was like a sister to me, pulled the car over and asked me what happened. After a while, I was finally able to tell her the nights events in between sobs.

Sarah just hugged me and said, “Aww sweetie, you were too good for him anyway. I mean, if he cheated on you with Katie Bradley, who if I remember correctly is the easiest girl in LA, then you are way better off without him.” She flashed me her smile.

My crying eventually stopped as Sarah dropped me off. God bless that cousin of mine. What would I do without her? I didn’t hear from Todd all weekend. That was expected. But I did expect to hear from Nicole, which I didn’t. So when I heard the news that Monday at school, I was completely at a loss of words.

I barely made it to homeroom on time for the morning announcements. As I walked in the room, all conversations died and I was attacked by twenty pairs of eyes. Ok what’s up with that? It’s not as if I’m the first person to be late to homeroom. I took my seat as the announcements came on. Mr. Fitz announced the usual events and sports of the day and then handed the mic over to the principal. Wow, Mr. Creedan only comes on the announcements when something BIG happens. As those words went through my mind, Mr. Creedan’s voice came on over the speakers.

“As some of you may know, one of our students, Todd Gilmore, lost his life in a terrible car accident this past weekend,” Mr. Creedan started. Wow that sucks. Wait a minute, did he just say Todd Gilmore? “We ask that you all take a moment of silence to pray for the rest of his soul,” Mr. Creedan continued. My mind started reeling with a million questions. How did this happen? I just saw him on Saturday! He can't seriously be dead. That's impossible! But I knew that it was possible. And it had happened. I felt my heart shattering. Even though I had just recently found out that he had been cheating on me and that we had broken up, he was my second boyfriend, and there were still feelings there! Though it was impossible to tell, I knew that the whole school was indeed silent and mourning. Todd was loved by everyone and this was a huge loss for the school.

The rest of that day was a blur. Everywhere I went conversations died. People I didn’t know came up to me telling me they were sorry. Finally came lunch time. I would be able to talk to Nicole. As I walked to my usual lunch table, the entire cafeteria grew quiet. People’s gazes followed me as I walked towards where Nicole was sitting with our friends yet not really talking to any of them. Finally, I sat across from Nicole and looked up at her only to find her eyes cold and full of hate. Towards me? What did I do?

“Nicole I am so sorry,” I started.

“You have got some nerve,” Nicole said at the same time.

“Excuse me?” I asked completely clueless as to why my best friend had just said that to me.

“First you kill my brother and now you have the audacity to speak to me?”

Kill her brother. What is she talking about? “Nicole, Todd died in a car accident. I was not involved,” I said in a weak voice.

“It was your fault!” Nicole yelled. “You were the last person with him. You had his keys! You could have stopped him!”

I no longer cared that we had an audience. “Are you kidding me? That night he tried going all the way with me. I pushed him away. He broke up with me, grabbed his keys, and right before leaving he tells me he’s been screwing Katie Bradley the whole two years we were dating. Then he stormed out leaving me in complete shock. Excuse me for being too stunned to stop him from doing something he should have known not to do,” I shot back. We stared at each other, not saying anything, but each with their share of anger. I finally got up, ran out of the cafeteria, to my car, and sped all the way home. I was surprised I made it there without any mishap considering I was crying the entire time.

The next couple of months were the worse months of my life. I barely talked to any of my friends. People at school either hated me because of what happened to Todd, or felt sorry for me because of what he did to me. I barely talked to Sarah since she had gone back to New York for school, and I avoided my mom as much as possible. I stopped going to parties and became totally consumed with my studies and with softball. On top of that, I lost a lot of weight.

Finally school was ending in less than a week and I felt as if things might be going back to normal. Then my mom dropped the bomb about sending me to Jersey.

A knock brought me back from my flashback and I heard my mom come in. “Hey, you’ve been in here for a while. What’s up?” my mom asked. I removed my arm from my face and opened my eyes. I noticed how dark it had gotten and figured I had been locked in my room for hours. I sat up and moved up on my bed until I was sitting Indian style with my back plastered against the headboard. When I said nothing, my mom continued. “Look, sweetie, I know that this may seem unfair to you, but this has been a tough year for you. I just feel that you should get away for a while. Finish high school in New Jersey and then you can come back. Ok?”

I contemplated my options. I had none. “When do I leave?” I asked finally giving in to the inevitable.

“About four weeks after school gets out,” my mom responded and left without another word.

Well New Jersey, whether I like it or not, here I come.