Worlds Keep Spinning Round

Four and a half hours, two hundred twenty- seven miles later, not to mention three stops at Starbucks, I finally pulled up to the main campus. Parking in an empty spot, I pulled out my map of the campus and sat in my car trying to figure out which way my dorm was. After figuring out which way to go, I got out of my car and stretched a bit. Then I popped open the trunk and started unloading some of my stuff. After grabbing as much as I could, I locked my car and started my first trip to my dorm. About three minutes later, I was standing in the middle of the suite, with two doors to my right and one straight ahead of me. I saw my initials on a post- it on one of the doors and walked over. Taking a deep breath, I pushed the door open and was instantly relieved to see only one bed, meaning I didn’t have to share a room with anyone else.

Throwing my stuff down on the floor, I walked back out to the suite and back towards my car. As I was making my second trip back in, someone bumped into me and made all the boxes I was holding tumble over. Almost immediately the person that had bumped into me bent down and helped me pick up my stuff. For a second I was reminded of my first two encounters with Joe. I brushed those memories aside as I looked up at the guy that had bumped into me.

“I’m so sorry about that. First day is always crazy around here,” he said setting one of my boxes on top of the ones I was already holding.

“That’s ok. I guess I got a bit carried away. I mean, I can’t even see over these things,” I replied, indicating all the boxes I held in my hands.

The guy laughed a bit and then said, “I’m Patrick.” He went to shake my hand but thought better of it when I gave him a look that clearly indicated I would in now way, shape or form be able to shake his hand with all these boxes in my hands. Chuckling a bit more he offered to help me out.

“Oh no, that’s ok. I’m sure you have tons of things you need to do rather than help out a freshman,” I told him timidly.

Shaking his head furiously he said, “No really let me help you out. I already brought in all my stuff and I don’t ever really fully unpack all my stuff until like, two weeks into the semester.”

“Well, if you insist,” I replied flashing him a very grateful smile. This guy was seriously saving me so many trips back to my Range Rover. He grabbed two of the boxes in my hands and followed me back to my suite. There still weren’t any other people in it, so we just dropped the boxes in my room and made our way back to my car.

Two trips later, all my stuff had been brought into my room. Taking a look around my room at all the boxes and bags I had to unpack I heaved a loud sigh. “Well Patrick, I honestly can not thank you enough. Aside from the fact that I’m gonna be up for a long time tonight unpacking, you saved me the trouble of being sore while I do that.” I turned and flashed him the most grateful smile I could muster.

“It was no big deal. What kind of gentleman would I be if I made a lady do all the heavy lifting?”

I giggled a bit. “Hmm, I’m guessing you’re from down south?” I said with a bit of question in my voice.

“Yes ma’am. Born and raised in Tennessee,” he answered tilting his head as if he were tipping his hat. I giggled. So that’s why his accent was so familiar, it was identical to Miley’s.

“Well Patrick, as much as I would love for you to stick around and help out some more, I should be getting ready for freshman orientation. Then I have this mess to tackle down,” I told him sweeping my hand around the floor that was somewhere under all my boxes.

“Ok, I can take a hint. But first I want you to promise me something.”

“And what would that be?” I asked a bit interested.

“There’s this party tonight, and I want you to promise me you‘ll come.”

“Hmm, well I’m pretty tired, but I’ll see if I make an appearance.” I gave him another friendly smile as I walked him to the door. Afterwards, I grabbed my bag and my map and went to the place where freshman orientation would start.

About two hours later, our freshman advisor had given us the full tour of the campus and had told us everything we needed to know. As I was making my way back to my dorm, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I was instantly excited when I saw Joe’s cheesy grin smiling up at me from my screen. “Hello,” I answered excitedly.

“Hey,” he answered equally as excited.

“What’s up?” I asked taking a seat on a bench outside my dorm building.

“Nothing really. We’re just hanging out at Uncle Josh’s house. I felt kinda weird being the fifth wheel out, so I decided to call you and see how it’s going.”

“Uhm, well I got here about three hours ago. I was so happy to finally be able to get out of that car and stretch,” I proclaimed causing him to laugh at me.

“Ok, well give me the low down. What’s the campus like? Do you like you’re dorm room. Oh what about your room mates? Do you like them? Is there gonna be any drama there?” he inquired like a thirteen year old girl at a sleep over.

I merely laughed at his excitement. “Wow Joe. I think you’re more excited about this experience than I am.”

“Whatever. I’m living my college life through you. Now come on, tell me what it’s like!”

“Ok well the campus is absolutely gorgeous. Better than I remember it being when I visited it last year. The people seem to be nice. When I got here, I was bringing in some of my stuff and someone bumped into me making things go everywhere. Kind of like when I met you. So the person helped me gather my stuff and then he offered to help me bring in the rest of my stuff. I kindly accepted. That took about an hour. Then freshman orientation started and that took two hours. It just ended actually. Right now, I’m sitting outside my dorm building. And no, I haven’t met any of my room mates yet, but I think there’s two of them,” I finished off.

“Hmm, three hours there and already you met a guy huh. Did he try making a move on you?”

I didn’t know whether he was just kidding or if he seriously wanted to know. I decided to joke about it, just so that this didn’t turn into a big thing. “Well, right off the bat he proclaimed his love for me, but only after inviting me to this party,” I answered. The tone of my voice totally told him that I was kidding.

“Haha. That’s so funny. Seriously though, I’ve been doing some reading and college guys are so forward when it comes to girls.”

“You? Reading? Really?” My remark was met with protests from the other side of the line and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Joe, relax. There is no way anything is going to happen between me and any guy out here. I mean I’ve already met this incredible guy back in New Jersey, and there is no one that can take his place.”

“Good,” he said. I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Who said I was talking about you? Haha, just kidding. Listen I have a lot of unpacking to do. Why don’t you call me later? Tell everyone I said hey.”

“I resent that remark, but I’ll tell everyone you say hi. Talk to you later. Frazzle dazzle.”

“Frazzle dazzle.” Chuckling a bit, I hung up and walked into my dorm room. I was surprised to see furniture in our suite when it hadn’t been there two hours ago when I left for freshman orientation. As I closed the door, a girl came out of the room right next to mine. “Hi,” I said giving her a small wave.

“Hi. Are you one of my room mates?”

“Yup. My room is right next to yours,” I told her.

“That’s cool. My name is Megan. Megan Donnelley,” she told me stepping forward and sticking out her hand.

I met her half way and shaking her hand I replied, “Nice to meet you Megan. I’m Natalie. Natalie Anderson.”

Her eyes got wider when I told her my name. “Oh my God. Natalie Anderson, as in Joe Jonas’ girlfriend Natalie Anderson?” she asked excitedly.

“Uh yea. That’s me,” I replied timidly. Great, my room mate probably has a crush on my boyfriend!

“Wow, it’s so good to finally meet you! I’ve heard so much about you.” I stared at her confused. What did she mean she’s heard a lot about me? I guess she read into my look because she rapidly started explaining herself. “Oh my goodness I’m sorry I’m probably confusing you. I’m Ryan Sheckler’s girlfriend. He’s told me a lot about you and the Jonas boys and I’m glad to meet you.”

Realization set in. I knew I had heard her name before. Ryan was just telling me about her a few weeks ago. “Oh wow, yeah hi. Ryan was talking about you a few weeks ago. I can’t believe I didn’t put two and two together earlier. It’s nice to meet you too.” After that mystery was settled, we heard the door open with a bang. We both looked up as a tall blonde walked into the suite and tons of bags fell on the floor.

“Whew, that was heavy. You’d think someone would have offered me a hand, but no, seems like chivalry really is dead.” Megan and I looked at each other and then back at the girl standing in our door way. Looking up at us, she quickly straightened up and made her way over to us. “Oh, sorry about that outburst. I guess you must be my room mates. I’m Trisha Stewart.” She stuck her hand out and both Megan and I shook her hand.

“Hi Trisha, I’m Natalie. This is Megan,” I offered the introductions.

She took a better look at us and let out a yelp. “Oh my goodness. I know who you girls are. You’re dating Joe Jonas. And you’re dating Ryan Sheckler. Oh my God. I can’t believe you’re my room mates,” she said extremely excited.

“Uh yea, we are. But it really isn’t that big a deal,” Megan said bashfully.

“You’re boyfriends are extremely hot.”

“Yea. So uh, do you need help bringing in any of your stuff?” I asked. I didn’t exactly feel like having this girl talk about how hot my boyfriend and one of my good friends were.

“Oh that would be great. I guess that’s my room over there,” she said more than asked. Both Megan and I nodded our heads. We went over to the heap of bags in our door way and the three of us brought Trisha’s bags to her room. Afterwards, we each proceeded to lock ourselves in our rooms and unpack. About two and a half hours later, I had pretty much everything unpacked and organized. Having nothing else to do, I went back out to our suite. There I found Megan watching television and Trisha looking through a mini fridge that I had failed to see in the corner.

“Well it’s about time you finished unpacking,” Megan said looking up when I closed my door. I chuckled slightly and went to sit next to her.

Trisha then came over and plopped herself on the empty love seat opposite of the couch Megan and I were on. “So, I was thinking that we should have a girl’s night tonight. You know order some food and get to know each other,” she offered.

I pondered the idea and answered, “Well, I was invited to this party tonight but that seems like a better idea.” Both of them looked up at me with wide eyes. “What?” I asked.

“You were invited to a party already?” Megan asked.

“Yea. This guy was helping bring in my stuff earlier and he invited me to a party.”

“Well then we should go!” Trisha said.

“What about having a girl’s night?” I asked cocking my head to the side and raising an eyebrow at her.

She waved her hand at me and said, “Please, we’re gonna be living together for a whole semester. We’re gonna have plenty of time to get to know each other.” I rolled my eyes at her. I had a feeling my room mates and I were gonna get along just fine. After a while of bickering, they finally convinced me to go.

About half an hour later, we were ready and out the door looking for that party. We eventually found it and immediately I was excited. So this is what college parties are like. We spent the entire night partying and the next morning were extremely tired. When we got up, we agreed to go out to lunch and there we got to know each other better. Yup, we’re going to get along just fine.

JB—JB—JB—JB—JB

“Natalie will you hurry up already?” I heard Trisha’s impatient voice calling from our common room. Setting down my text book and highlighter, I jumped off my bed and opened the door to my room.

“What do you want Trish?” I asked impatiently. I had a huge test the following morning and I needed to get back to studying.

Trisha stared at me with wide eyes. “Please don’t tell me that you’re going dressed like that to Patrick’s party!” she exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes at her and grunted dramatically. “For the millionth time Trish, I’m not going to that party,” I told her impatiently.

“I thought you would have changed your mind by now,” she pouted.

“Trisha, I have a test to study for. Tell Pat I’m sorry I couldn’t make it. You two have fun.”

At that same moment, Megan was walking out of her room all dolled up for the party. Taking one look at the scene unfolding in our suite, she rolled her eyes, and pulled on Trisha’s arm. “Come on Trish, let the poor girl study.” She managed to pull Trisha away from my doorway and out into the hallway. “Good luck with your studies,” I heard Megan call out as I slammed my door and they left for the party.

I spent the whole night studying, with the exception of a phone call from Joe, and didn’t get to bed until 4 o’clock in the morning. By that time, Megan and Trisha still hadn’t gotten back. But I wasn’t worried. If there was one thing those girls knew how to do was party, and I knew they wouldn’t be back for a few more hours. Unlike me, they didn’t have classes early in the morning. Lucky! At around 8:00 a.m., I heard my alarm clock ring. Reluctantly, I got up and headed straight for the bathroom. Taking a quick cold shower woke me up enough to make it all the way to the coffee cart that would officially wake me up. From there I went on to my first class where my previous nights studying paid off.

From there I grabbed a sandwich and made my way to the library for a few hours. When I finally made it back to my dorm room, I found both Trisha and Megan sitting on the couch, watching TV and scarffing down Chinese food. They both looked up at me when I walked through the door and set my books down on the floor outside my door. “Wow guys, thanks for saving me some food,” I said sarcastically looking into the white, empty containers.

They just rolled their eyes at me. “So where have you been?” Megan asked.

“Well, like I said last night, I had a test in one of my classes this morning. Then I went to the library for a few hours,” I replied stealing the half of her egg roll that was sitting on a plate on the coffee table.

“Girl, you study way too much,” Trisha said shaking her head and stuffing a piece of Sesame chicken in her mouth.

“Trisha,” Megan exclaimed.

“What? She does.”

“What’s wrong with that?” I asked, looking back and forth between them.

“What’s wrong with it is that you are missing out on your college experience. Like last night, you missed out on the greatest party of the semester,” Trisha answered as Megan shook her head at her.

“Trish, you say that about every single party we go to,” I pointed out.

“She has a point Nat. Last nights party was insanely crazy. And the band. My God. If I didn’t have Ryan, I would so have hooked up with that drummer,” Megan added.

I stared at my room mates in disbelief. But maybe they had a point. Maybe I was studying too hard. It wouldn’t kill me to go to a few more parties, would it? “Ok, so what are you suggesting?” I asked surrendering.

A look of excitement entered both their eyes as I gave in. “Ok, well when I was talking to that band last night I casually made a comment about how awesome they would be if they had a girl as their lead singer,” Megan replied.

“But that was before Pat told me that they actually were looking for a girl lead singer,” Trisha added.

“Ok,” I said, dragging out the word. I already knew where this was going.

“You should totally audition,” they both exclaimed at the same time. God my room mates are such freaks.

“I don’t know guys,” I replied reluctantly.

“Oh come on Nat. We hear you singing in the shower. You have a freaking awesome voice,” Trisha exclaimed. After about an hour of them trying to convince me to try out, they finally talked me into it.

Well, we’ll see where this goes.

JB—JB—JB—JB—JB

“Come on, come on. Pick up your phone.” I waited impatiently as I listened to Joe’s ring back tone. He finally answered on the fifth ring.

“Hello?” I heard him say in a groggily voice.

“OMG, did I wake you up? I am so sorry,” I immediately said. I always forgot there was a time difference between here and California.

“No that’s ok. Frankie would have probably woken me up in a few minutes anyways.” I chuckled lightly realizing he definitely had a point. “So what’s up?” he asked.

I took in a deep breath, excited to share the news I was about to tell him. “I’m in a band,” I proclaimed letting out all the air in my lungs.

“You’re what?” he asked surprised.

“I’m in a band,” I repeated.

“Wow, that’s awesome!” he exclaimed. “How did this happen?”

“Well, according to Trish and Megs, I was too serious with my studies. So this friend of ours told us of this band that was looking for a lead singer. They suggested I audition, so I did and I made it. Now, we’re not like, trying to make it into the music industry or anything. It’s just a hobby and we play at parties and stuff,” I explained.

“Wow, that’s totally awesome. Congrats. Man I wish I could see you perform.”

“I can always tell you when we would be performing and you could maybe get the jet to fly you and your brothers out here,” I offered.

“Yea that might be a bit difficult?” he said hesitantly.

“Why?” I asked confused. Usually he was all up for flying in the jet or the helicopter.

“Well, I guess now is as good a time as any to share my news.” He took in a deep breath and letting it all out he said, “We just got signed onto this huge tour thingy and we’re going international. We leave in two weeks.”

“What?” I asked. I couldn’t have possibly heard him right. “Did you just say you were going on an international tour in two weeks?”

“Yea.”

“Wow Joe, that’s huge. International tour? Do you know what that means?” I asked excitedly.

“What?”

“You guys finally made it big. You’re up there with Miley and the HSM cast now.”

“Yea I guess. But that also means that I won’t see you for two years. Which is how long this tour is supposed to last.”

That last part of his news was a big shock. I felt as if a very heavy cement block had been plumped down on my stomach. “Wow, two years?” I asked. “What’s gonna happen to…us?” I thought I had said this in my head, but apparently I had been thinking out loud because the next thing I knew, Joe was reassuring me through the phone line.

“Yea. Two years. But don’t worry. This is totally going to work. I’m sure we’ll be in the states a couple times during that period of time and when we are, we will definitely be getting together with you guys,” he said referring to my half sister and cousin.

“Yea. We can make it work,” I said half heartedly. My head was telling me there was a slim chance of that happening, even though my heart wanted to believe it would.

“Joseph Adam, get down here immediately,” I heard Mrs. Jonas yell in the background. She only used any of the boys’ full names when they were in trouble.

I giggled slightly. “Looks like you have to go. Call me later ok?”

“Yea. Frazzle dazzle.”

Before I could answer, he had already hung up, knowing he shouldn’t keep his mother waiting when she was angry. “Frazzle dazzle,” I said to the empty phone line and hung up. A heavy feeling set in my stomach. Joe and I were now going to have a whole ocean separating us instead of just a country. I really hope this works out.

JB—JB—JB—JB—JB

“Natalie Marie Anderson!” I heard Megan’s voice shriek my name as she slammed the door to our suite.

“What the heck are you yelling about?” I asked strolling out of my bedroom.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked. More like screamed actually.

“Tell you what?” I asked confused. I was pretty sure there was no major news I had forgotten to tell my best friend.

“That you and Joe broke up?”

I was extremely confused by those words. The boys had left for Europe about a month ago. Joe promised to call me as much as he could, considering the long distance calls would have cost me a fortune. We talked on a daily basis but as he got busier, he had stopped calling as often. Whenever he did, I usually missed the calls because I was either in class, studying, at work, at band practice, or catching what little sleep I could. So sure it had been a while since Joe and I last talked, but that didn’t mean we were broken up. At least I didn’t think so.

“Megs I didn’t tell you because me and Joe haven’t broken up,” I exclaimed.

“Are you sure?” she asked, scrunching her eyebrows in my direction.

“Uhh, yea. Pretty darn sure,” I replied taking a swig from the bottle of vitamin water I had just pulled out of our mini fridge, and shooting her a weird look.

“Well then how do you explain this?” she asked throwing the latest issue of Pop Star down on our coffee table. I walked over and picked it up. I stared wide eyed at the front cover. A gorgeous picture of Joe was staring up at me and across the bottom read the words ‘Joe’s new girlfriend!’ What the hell?! I frantically flipped through the pages (giving myself two paper cuts in the process) until I came across the article.

It was a two page spread. On the left side were about half a dozen pictures of Joe with none other than Emma Watson, from the Harry Potter movies. That’s Joe’s celebrity crush! I read over the article, my heart shredding to pieces with each word I read. It practically said that things between Joe and I hadn’t worked out and that we had broken up before they left for Europe. There, he started seeing Emma after meeting her at one of their concerts. Apparently they officially announced that they were dating a week ago! This was all a direct quote coming from ‘a reliable source’!

My knees buckled underneath me and I plopped down onto the couch. There is no way that Joe really cheated on me! But then again, he couldn’t have possibly cheated on me when apparently we weren‘t together anymore. Which means he probably wanted to break up and didn’t tell me about it but just moved on. No, this can’t be.

The lump in my throat had long ago formed and now the tears were streaming down my face. “OMG, you had no idea about this, did you?” Megan asked, sympathy evident in her voice. I barely shook my head in response. She immediately sat down next to me and wrapped me up in a tight embrace. “Oh I’m so sorry Nat. This is just awful. I can’t believe Joe would do this to you,” she said, her anger at Joe increasing rapidly.

Right then Trisha walked into the suite, slamming the door behind her, obviously angry about something. Taking one look over at our couch she immediately brushed her problems aside and became concerned with my situation. “Oh my goodness, what happened? Nat, why are you crying?”

I couldn’t even say anything back to her. At the moment I wasn’t even sure if I was breathing anymore. I felt as if my heart had stopped beating. Megan merely passed the magazine to Trisha. About two minutes later, she was also screaming and calling Joe all these horrible things. Without saying a word, I got up off the couch, walked over to my room and locked myself in there for hours. I plugged my Ipod into its dock and played my depressing songs play list. I plopped down on my bed and eventually I had cried myself to sleep. The boy of my dreams had just walked out of my life and hadn’t even bothered to tell me about it.

JB—JB—JB—JB—JB

“Hey Nat, how are you feeling?? I looked over at one of my band mates, Travis.

“Uh a little bit nervous,” I answered truthfully.

“Why, this isn’t the first time we’ve performed before,” he said twirling his drumsticks charismatically between his fingers.

“Yea I know, but our crowds have never been as big as the one out there. And we’ve never performed a song that I wrote myself,” I countered.

“True. But your song rocks. That loser ex-boyfriend of yours dumping you at least brought us this great song. Now don’t worry about it. We’ve rehearsed this song a million times for this very moment. You’re gonna do fine. Besides all the guys out there came to see you sing anyways.”

“Was that supposed to make me feel better?” I teased.

“Hey, you know I’m not good with this sentimental words crap.”

“Yea I know. But at least you tried. And in its own weird way, it worked. Thanks.” I flashed him my pearly whites and leaned over to give him a hug.

“Come on Nat, Travis. We’re going on like now,” our guitarist Pete said poking his head into the room we were in.

Taking a deep breath, I composed myself and walked out with Travis straight onto the make-shift stage the frat boys had set up. As soon as we took our first steps out there, the crowd erupted into shrieks, yells, and hoots. Smiling as brightly as I could, I gave the crowd a small wave and walked over to the mic on the center of the stage. “Hey everyone, thank you so much for coming out here tonight. It really means a lot to us. I hope you all have a good time.” The crowd erupted into more screams and applause.

I nodded my head towards Travis, signaling him to start us off. He beat his drum sticks against each other and the rest of the band started playing the necessary notes. The second half of our set went great. The crowd was extremely hipped up, but it was time for our last song, my song. After the crowds screams had subsided I started talking into the mic. “I’m glad you’re all having a good time. This next one goes out to anyone who has ever lost someone important to them.” Pete started strumming a few chords on his guitar and the rest of the band joined in as I waited for my queue. Then I started singing my heart out.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I pretend I’m okay but that's not what gets me
What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
Watching you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doing it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken
What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
Watching you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Ohh. Heyy. Yeaah

I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I pretend I’m okay but that's not what gets me
What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
Watching you walk away
And never knowing, what could have been
Not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
Watching you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
Not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

As soon as I stopped singing, the crowd (who had all been dancing with a significant other to the uncharacteristically slow beat of the song) erupted into a massive amount of yells, hoots, screams and applause. I stared at them with a huge grin plastered on my face. I was so relieved that everyone had liked that song. I wrote it after the breakup (obviously), and this was the first time we had performed it. “Thank you all for being an amazing audience, and enjoy the rest of this party,” I yelled into the mic.

I made my way off of the stage and went to find my room mates. Instead, I found my cousin. Well she found me actually. “Sarah, what are you doing here?” I asked as I pulled away from the hug she had thrown me into.

“We got out earlier than you guys did for Thanksgiving break. I hadn’t seen you since you left in August, so I decided to come up here and I thought we could leave together for Jersey,” she explained.

I threw my arms around her neck. “That’s a great idea,” I told her. I’d missed her a lot.

“OMG, Natalie, that was so much better than any time I’ve heard you sing!” I pulled away from Sarah and looked over at Megan who was praising my performance. Right next to her were Trisha and her boyfriend Patrick, who I had introduced to each other at the party we went to our very first night here.

“Thanks Megs. I was just so jazzed up with the crowd’s energy. It felt really good singing it,” I told her, giving her the best smile I could muster. She read right through that lie. She and Trisha were well aware of just how affected I still was with the break up, even though it had been a whole month since it happened.

“Well, whatever the reason, you did great up there. I think I might have to get you guys to play at every single party the frat throws from now on,” Pat said flashing me a bright smile. With that, he pulled Trisha out onto the dance floor, leaving Megan, Sarah, and I standing there.

Both Megan and Sarah were staring at me, trying to get a reaction from me. Anything that would prove that I was still hung up on Joe. Which I was, but trying really hard not to be. “Uh Megan, this is my cousin Sarah. Sarah this is Megan, my room mate,” I offered the introductions, trying to replace the awkward silence that had settled as they stared at me.

They both rolled their eyes at me but thank God they decided to drop it. “Hi. It’s so great to finally meet you. Natalie talks very highly of you,” Megan offered first, sticking her hand out for Sarah to shake it.

“Yea, she’s told me a lot about you also. You’re dating Ryan, right?”

“Yea. That’s me.”

“Yup, you definitely look like his type. I don’t know what you did to that kid, but he’s finally stopped running around and settled on a good girl,” Sarah said, as if she had known Ryan that long. Megan giggled at the comment and from then on, the tension was lifted. We partied the rest of the night, thankful that classes were now over for winter break.

We made our way back to our dorm room at around four in the morning. We weren’t even tired, so we stayed up and did what girls always do…talk! Sarah was the first to start the conversation. “Wow, that was an awesome party,” she said.

“Yea, Pat does throw some insane parties,” Trisha replied.

“And that band that you’re in Nat, absolutely amazing. I am completely in love with that last song you guys performed,” Sarah said deviously. I shot her one of my looks.

“Yea. You performed it so well,” Megan threw in. “You did know Nat wrote that song herself, right Sarah?” she asked turning towards my cousin on the couch.

“Hmm, I thought she might have. I mean, she told me in passing that she had written a song but I hadn’t heard it before. I wonder who it was about,” Sarah said the last part more to herself, even though we all knew where she was going with this. Everyone in the room turned to look at me. Great, now we’re on the topic of Joe.

I merely rolled my eyes. “You guys are so mean. I mean you know I wrote it about him. Now, that’s all in the past, so can we please move on and change the subject?”

“No, we can’t. Nat, you know you can’t keep your emotions bottled up the way you do. So let’s have it out. Tell us what happened,” Megan stated.

“I don’t know ok. Megs you were here. You showed me the article. I had no idea this was coming. One minute we’re going out, and the next someone is quoted saying that we broke up and that he’s dating Emma. But hey, she’s been his celebrity crush for how long now? He finally has the opportunity to go out with her,” I bursted.

“But you guys were so perfect together. I still don’t understand why Joe threw all of it away,” Sarah added.

“We’re only nineteen Sarah. We couldn’t have possibly lasted forever,” I said, the hurt evident in my voice. I seriously thought that Joe was the one, but apparently he didn’t think so, even though he had told me he did. That was obviously a blatant lie. The thoughts of all the nights he swore up and down that I was 'the one' infuriated me.

“It so doesn’t even seem like him. To just do this without even a phone call explaining himself,” Trisha chimed in for the first time since the conversation started.

An awkward silence settled in and I knew they were all agreeing with her statement. In all actuality, it wasn’t something Joe would do. Which is why he didn’t do it. “Actually, he did call,” I told them in a small voice. As expected, they all looked up at me surprised.

“What?!” the three of them shrieked.

“He called about a week after I found out. On the day of my birthday,” I answered.

“Really? What did he say? Did he even offer an explanation?” Megan shrieked at me.

I let out a dramatic sigh. “I don’t know,” I replied.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Trisha asked.

“When he called, I was typing a paper on my computer. I didn’t even think to look at my caller ID, so when I heard him say my name in that voice of his, it just undid me. I instantly hung up. He didn’t call again after that. I guess he was either too scared to because I was mad at him, or he just didn’t feel like he should bother.”

“I’m sure he just thought you were mad at him. Joe seriously cares about you Nat,” Sarah said, touching my arm lightly.

“Sure he does,” I said sarcastically throwing in a roll of my eyes for the full affect.

“He seriously does. Kevin and I have talked about it. He says they aren’t together. Even Nick has told Kaitlyn the same thing. We all know he would never lie.”

I rolled my eyes and said, “Can we just drop this. Please.” I got up off the couch and walked over to the mini fridge. Why were the four of them talking about this with each other?

“Sure,” they replied, finally seeing how upset I was getting by the conversation. But I could still feel the sympathetic looks they were giving me burn a hole in the back of my head.

I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and with my back still towards them I made one last statement about Joseph Jonas. “The worst part about this whole thing is that I think I had finally admitted to myself that I was truly in love with him,” I whispered as a single tear strolled down my cheek.