Could It Be Alright?

He stared blankly at the kitchen cupboards, taking another drag on his cigarette, watching the smoke he exhaled float outside, drifting on the invisible Californian breeze. He shuddered as he felt hot tears fall from his eyes, dripping onto his bare chest, cold from the breeze that hit it from the open door. He swallowed, wiping the tears from his eyes. He didn’t know what to do anymore. He had ran away from his problems for too long, and now, they seemed too big to fix. Touring didn’t seem to work, that just made them worse. He used to look at touring as a way of escaping your problems, a way to hide from them. It couldn’t help this time though, touring had made the problem. The problem was him not being home, the problem was him leaving for months on end, tearing his marriage apart. They’d finished this tour early because of that. Family issues, the stress was showing on his face they all said, the sparkle gone from his eyes, the vibrant green turned dull. He sighed, wiping his left eye with the flat of his hand. He swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump forming in his throat. He swallowed again, this time letting out a small choked sob, leading to more. Tears fell down his cheeks as he slid down the cupboards onto the floor. The hot tears stung his eyes, his vision blurred even more. He stubbed out his cigarette into the ashtray on the granite worktop above him, covering his face completely with his hands, his sobs getting heavier and heavier. He stood up after a few seconds and wandered across the kitchen, picked up the phone and went and sat back where he was, tears still falling out of his hazel green eyes. He punched in a familiar number, and waited for the dial tone to stop.

“Urrgh, Hello moron! Do you know what fucking time it is?” Mike’s croaky voice blasted through Billie’s mind.

“Mike? S-sorry, I-I can’t sleep…I j-just needed to talk to someone.” Billie managed to choke out through sobs.

“Billie…? I didn’t know it was you dude. Things still bad?” Mike said, his voice softening.

“Y-yeah…really bad. I don’t know what to do Mike. I’ve tried everything, nothing seems to work.”

“Bill, what made her attracted to you in the first place?” Mike mumbled back, stifling a yawn.

“Something …it was something that I’ve lost, it must be, she seems so…so angry now Mike. I don’t understand.” Billie said, sniffing, wiping tears away from his eyes again. “I mean, I- we finished touring early so I could be with her, we finished early so I could try and fix this, but I’ve ignored it for too long, walked away from it for too long, and now it feels like it’s grown too big. She wants me to quit Green Day. She wants me to stop doing the one thing I’m good at, the one thing I’ve done since…since god knows when. I-I can’t Mike, I can’t stop being in the band. I am Green Day, it is me, It is my life. I-I can’t stop. And that’s what’s aggravating her the most.”

“Oh Bill…” Mike said, swallowing. “I don’t know the answer to that one.”

“I love her so fucking much Mike. But now it seems ‘I love you’s’ not enough, and I don’t know what else to say.” Billie mumbled back, sobbing once more.

“How about I come round tomorrow and we talk about it yeah? See what we can come up with. It’s just… I don’t think I’m being much help judging I’m still half asleep.” Mike said yawning again.

“Okay then…” Billie Joe mumbled.

“See you then Bill.” Mike said, he was about to shut the phone off when he heard Billie’s voice again.

“Mike? Thanks…you’re a really great mate. Always there when I need you most.” Billie mumbled softly.

And with that, he shut off the phone, and stood up, placing it back on the holder at the other side of the kitchen. He wandered over to the door leading into the garden, staring outside for a few seconds, before closing the door and turning round to head out of the kitchen area. He jumped when he saw Adie standing in the door way, tears falling down her cheeks. He wondered how long she’d been there, but he didn’t care, by the look on her face it looked like she’d been there for a while, he hoped she heard all the phone conversation. It would make her see how much she meant to him.