The Falling Man

Everything seemed to grow silent.

After I discovered she was missing, I couldn’t hear the debris fall, the sirens, not even my own voice calling her name above it all.

How could I’ve let go of her hand?

She was pushed away in the panic from me, the people were too strong.

My eyes frantically searched the scene and my brain was going a mile a minute thinking of the potential things that could’ve happened to my little girl.

Trampled?

Kidnapped?

Buried beneath debris?

I shoved my way to the police line, the people were still pushing their way out of the building.

I screamed for help, I could feel tears dusting off my face.

“Ma’am, you need to calm down,” an officer held me firmly by both shoulders, and I couldn’t do anything but sob.

I had only had her in my life for four years. Her father had never even known her.

I covered my face with my hands, it felt gritty from the dust. It was falling from the buildings like snow. The sight was almost beautiful.

“Ma’am, please, step back.”

I just shook my head, unable to udder an audible sound.

A woman screamed, the same damn woman always screaming. It probably wasn’t just her. But they all sounded the same.

I looked up, a body lifelessly falling from the buildings up above. I turned away, unable to look as he neared the street below.

I felt like I had lost all hope, just like him.

“Ma’am,” The officer looked at me with sympathetic eyes, “You need to leave. This is no place for you.”

I squinted, gazing around at the sea of white and gray around me, wondering how this was a place for anyone with any emotion.

I coughed, my body finally responding to all the dust that I had taken in, then I spoke in a choked, hoarse voice.

“My daughter is here somewhere.”

He furrowed his eyebrows, then spoke into his two-way to his chief.

“Where was the last place you saw her?”

I shrugged, feeling light-headed and numb, “On Liberty Street. She was holding my hand when the first plane crashed...”

He nodded, “I’m going to go check with the paramedics to see if they’ve found a little girl. Why don’t you check back there?”

I nodded, slowly turning around, but was stopped as he grabbed my shoulder, “What’s your name?”

“Ana Gordon. Her name is Katrina Way. She has her father’s name.”

He held me by both shoulders, staring intensely into my eyes.

“We are going to find her, Ms. Gordon. Don’t you doubt that.”

I smiled weakly at his kindness, and headed for the Liberty Street.

The dust had gotten into of my eyes, and they were beginning to water more from the irritation.

I stood in the center of the street, cars abandoned and left for worse.

My eyes darted on the sidewalks, people were still moving on them, a good foot of dust covering them.

And then I saw her.

She was barely visible through the debris, her face and hair white as she lay motionless on the ground.

I screamed her name, running towards her as I heard a loud crash, the ground shaking beneath my feet.

I fell to the ground beside her, holding her as close as I could as I brushed of her face and hair.

“Katrina, Katrina, baby,” I breathed, rocking her lightly, tears streaming down my face, “Please wake up, baby, please wake up.”

Her eyes were shut, her long eyelashes covered in the dust. Her lips were chapped, formed in that perfect pout I had almost resented.

I kissed her forehead and her nose, clutching her gently as if she was a doll. She resembled one with all the white around her.

I felt a strong hand on my shoulder, “Ms. Gordon, we need to get you both to the paramedics now.”

I looked up to see the same officer from before, his face stern and concerned looking, “I called them. They should be here any minute.”

I whispered a thank you to him, gazing back down at my child.

The ambulance came within a matter of minutes, and they strapped her down to the gurney, the oxygen mask covering the majority of her small, delicate face.

“Miss, you need to sit down,” a woman instructed, pointing to one of the benches beside her, “You’re bleeding-”

I couldn’t even hear her. All I could do was stare at her innocent face and think about how thankful I was that she was going to be OK.