Denial

“Frank, you’re gay and you know it.”

The two boys sat alone again, the day after the episode. They stared at each other’s eyes, one furious with anger and the other calm. Gerard decided it would be wrong to put what happened the other night against Frank, so he left it alone and hoped he would forget about it. He slept peacefully that night, but he doubted Frank did.

“I know what I am, go to hell.” But at the back of his mind, he knew Gerard was right. “What happened to our deal? Our plan?” But he was too angry to even notice the little voice in his head. Frank was the kind of person that was afraid of change.

Gerard seemed perfectly fine with change. “Remind me of our plan, Frankie,” he dared. The corner of his lips started to pull up in a smug way.

Frank arched his eyebrows, he knew Gerard hadn’t forgotten. “You were supposed to help me . . .” And he fell for Gerard’s trap with those simple words. Gerard knew he had him.

“Because you thought you were gay, right?” he said, leaning back of the chair he was sitting on and he lifted his legs and placed it on top of a table. “So you’ve once thought you were gay. What’s so wrong about that?”

“Fuck you Gerard, I’m married, I love my wife.” He turned away, but he could hear Gerard sigh and he could imagine him rolling his eyes. He had a feeling he was going to lose this game.

He was losing already. “And yet you go out every night and fuck other women, just so you could make sure you can stay straight. And I have to stay here, answer your wife’s phone calls and cover you up.” Gerard scoffed, the temptation of mentioning last night’s events burning his throat. “If you wanna cheat on your wife, at least do it right.”

“Yeah? How?” Frank turned to him again and looked at his best friend with distaste. The look really had no affect to Gerard, he knew that deep down inside Frank, he knew he was right.

Gerard laughed, “Fuck a guy, that’s how.” The amused sound hurt Frank the way his hurt Gerard the night before. But, of course, Frank didn’t know that. He didn’t speak, knew it was no use against Gerard. Gerard was always right, it wasn’t even funny. “Being gay’s not so bad.”

“Easy for you to say, not everybody’s like you.” That was Frank’s mistake. Asking for help from your gay best friend, of course that was his wrong turn. “If you’re so sure, prove to me right now that it really isn’t so bad.”

Within a matter of minutes, Frank’s lips were trembling against Gerard’s. The moment was almost too near perfect except for the taunting voices in their heads. The guilt might’ve been too much to handle, but Gerard wouldn’t let go. He would’ve done everything just to make his friend realize.

He didn’t need to do anything too drastic, and maybe this was one of the happiest moment of Gerard’s life. “You see, Frank? I was right all along.” Except for one imperfection.

Frank had eyes for someone else.