How to Break Up With Your Internet Boyfriend
The Hilariously Deadly Question.
Okay, lassie (or lad). So you remember when you gave Mister (or Miss)Lovely your number?
Well, you've been texting or calling them all night. In fact, despite the fact that it is a Wednesday night, and furthermore, a school night, you stayed up to almost three in the morning (perhaps against your will) talking to this fool, and you may have told them a million times about how you need to go to sleep because school isn't getting easier, and they keep assuring you not to worry about it, because "school sucks". Jackass.
So right when they're on your last, tired nerve, telling them, "Jesus Christ, let me get some freaking sleep!", they ask the most hilariously deadly question of your adolescent days:
"Hey, baby, want to be my girlfriend?"
Note: Once again, I glamorized it to seem a lot better than it is.
By then, you are either a) dazzled, b) grossed out, or c) too damn tired to care.
Whatever the situation is, you say 'yes'.
Let the games begin.
So, let's take a little break from the storyline, here's a little helpful guide for those who are solely reading this because they're trying to get out of this mess.
Sometimes, you can definitely tell what kind of person (or creep) you're "with", judging by their picture(s). No, I do not mean labels, I mean, what kind of creep is after you.
So, when they have (a) picture(s) of themselves and they're very attractive, either they are fake, or they're cheating.
If you've seen their picture everywhere, they are indeed a fake.
When their pictures are photoshopped, they are either into themselves or very bored.
When they have pictures of themselves with others, either they're the least attractive, most attractive and just full of themselves, or cheating on you with all of them.
If their pictures are of just themselves, they've been flirting with everyone. You're just another catch.
If they have No picture, or pictures of random things,, either a) they don't have a camera, b) they're so ugly, they couldn't hurt you in such a way, or c) congratulations, you have a pedophile.
And sometimes, nothing will be wrong with them. Don't take your chances. Unless you'd met them in real life already, and it's convenient for you (and don't make up any bullshit about how you both can drive long distances without stopping) and they're who they say they are, it's not worth it. Don't waste anymore time and just break it off.
But we'll get to that soon.
Well, you've been texting or calling them all night. In fact, despite the fact that it is a Wednesday night, and furthermore, a school night, you stayed up to almost three in the morning (perhaps against your will) talking to this fool, and you may have told them a million times about how you need to go to sleep because school isn't getting easier, and they keep assuring you not to worry about it, because "school sucks". Jackass.
So right when they're on your last, tired nerve, telling them, "Jesus Christ, let me get some freaking sleep!", they ask the most hilariously deadly question of your adolescent days:
"Hey, baby, want to be my girlfriend?"
Note: Once again, I glamorized it to seem a lot better than it is.
By then, you are either a) dazzled, b) grossed out, or c) too damn tired to care.
Whatever the situation is, you say 'yes'.
Let the games begin.
So, let's take a little break from the storyline, here's a little helpful guide for those who are solely reading this because they're trying to get out of this mess.
Sometimes, you can definitely tell what kind of person (or creep) you're "with", judging by their picture(s). No, I do not mean labels, I mean, what kind of creep is after you.
So, when they have (a) picture(s) of themselves and they're very attractive, either they are fake, or they're cheating.
If you've seen their picture everywhere, they are indeed a fake.
When their pictures are photoshopped, they are either into themselves or very bored.
When they have pictures of themselves with others, either they're the least attractive, most attractive and just full of themselves, or cheating on you with all of them.
If their pictures are of just themselves, they've been flirting with everyone. You're just another catch.
If they have No picture, or pictures of random things,, either a) they don't have a camera, b) they're so ugly, they couldn't hurt you in such a way, or c) congratulations, you have a pedophile.
And sometimes, nothing will be wrong with them. Don't take your chances. Unless you'd met them in real life already, and it's convenient for you (and don't make up any bullshit about how you both can drive long distances without stopping) and they're who they say they are, it's not worth it. Don't waste anymore time and just break it off.
But we'll get to that soon.
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Next episodee: Miss Keep-A-Secret.Stay tuned for more! =D