How to Break Up With Your Internet Boyfriend
Okay, Miss Keep-A-Secret.
"Today is the greatest."
You whistle as you go about your daily business, be it school, work, chores, whatever.
That fool on the internet has been on your mind, and either you are so excited (for what, I don't know) or you just got a kick out of the fool that pretended to mean that "Goodnight, I love you." text. Yeesh.
So here comes the secret-keeping.
You go through the list of people you can tell about this:Mom? She'd throw a fit and break your computer.Dad?? He'd throw a fit, break your computer, run to your beau's house and strangle them, as well as all the boys in school.Little sis? NO WAY.Grandma? Grandma will tell your mother, who will tell your father.
And plenty down the list...Big Fat Betty? Big Fat Betty is very jealous of you, all the time, no matter what you have, including lymphoma. And she always thinks of some excuse to why she doesn't have a "man".
("See, that's why I don't have a man! They won't take you for who you are! Always trying to change you!")
But you know why she doesn't have a "man".
So, way at the bottom of your list, you find your bestie that you love to death and have known for years, and you know you can tell them anything, (like what you were really doing in her closet, buck-naked that once...) and they wouldn't tell a soul without your permission, (unlike Big Fat Betty.)
So the next day, or whenever you communicate, you tell them about your beau.
They may or may not disagree with your decision, but they most likely accept it, and are very happy for you. And chances are, they won't tell a soul...
...On purpose.
You whistle as you go about your daily business, be it school, work, chores, whatever.
That fool on the internet has been on your mind, and either you are so excited (for what, I don't know) or you just got a kick out of the fool that pretended to mean that "Goodnight, I love you." text. Yeesh.
So here comes the secret-keeping.
You go through the list of people you can tell about this:Mom? She'd throw a fit and break your computer.Dad?? He'd throw a fit, break your computer, run to your beau's house and strangle them, as well as all the boys in school.Little sis? NO WAY.Grandma? Grandma will tell your mother, who will tell your father.
And plenty down the list...Big Fat Betty? Big Fat Betty is very jealous of you, all the time, no matter what you have, including lymphoma. And she always thinks of some excuse to why she doesn't have a "man".
("See, that's why I don't have a man! They won't take you for who you are! Always trying to change you!")
But you know why she doesn't have a "man".
So, way at the bottom of your list, you find your bestie that you love to death and have known for years, and you know you can tell them anything, (like what you were really doing in her closet, buck-naked that once...) and they wouldn't tell a soul without your permission, (unlike Big Fat Betty.)
So the next day, or whenever you communicate, you tell them about your beau.
They may or may not disagree with your decision, but they most likely accept it, and are very happy for you. And chances are, they won't tell a soul...
...On purpose.
♠ ♠ ♠
Next episode...You'll find out.Stay tuned!