How to Break Up With Your Internet Boyfriend

BIG FAT BETTY FOUND OUT.

In fact, she's been calling you all day, running up to you and yelling,

"YOU FINALLY FOUND YOURSELF A MAN?!"

And you can't help but to be a little pissed off. I mean, Big Fat Betty just found out that you found a guy/girl on the inter-web. For one, it's none of her business. Another, she's probably going to tell the world. And, you just don't like her that much, as well as it had to get out from someone. And you didn't tell anyone but your bestie, right?

So you consult your friend and ask her if she told BFB.
Here's the guide.

If s/he admits it, less harm done. But still, BFB knows, so punish them by purchasing their favourite candy / food / band merchandise or what ever they love and devour (yes, devour the merch too, or don't let them borrow it ever) it right in front of them the next day at lunch.

Or just don't ever tell them that kind of shit ever again.

If s/he denies it, under certain circumstances, you don't need her / him.

But be careful!
It's not fun to lose friends like a cat loses hair. It hurts, like a burn on your tongue. We've all been through that stage, most likely, and only do it if they've let you down too many times. I cannot stress that enough.

And if your friend was tortured into telling BFB, plan a day out with that friend, and completely patronize him/her.

So, you dealt with your friend, but BFB still knows.
Here's how you deal with her:

a) Deny the "rumours" (although they may be true)
b) Tell BFB not to tell anyone else,
c)Tell her it's none of her business,
and if BFB is mean, in this case,
d)CHOKE HER!!!

Not really.