How to Break Up With Your Internet Boyfriend

Okay. You've had it with your internet "beau". I mean, for all you know, they could be "cheating" on you!

Now you've come up with a million and-a-half excuses to drop them.

For one, you've been flirting a bit with that cute new guy in choir class.
All is going well until one of your newer friends come up to you and say, "You've got a boy/girlfriend? What's his name?"
Of all the luck, right?
Frantically, you manage to say,

"Um, his/her name is ___, but I dumped him/her a while ago."
Suddenly, you think about what you just did: If you pretend the problem's not there, it'll likely go away! Just like all the adult figures told you never to do.

So few the next few whiles, you go about ignoring the beau's text messages, messages anyway, phone calls, comments, so on. Then they stop all together for some days, depending on the situation. However, they begin to talk to you some more, and you may begin to feel guilty.

"Baby, what's up? Why don't you talk to me anymore? Don't you love me?"
Tends to show up in your inboxes everywhere, and to yourself, you think "No, I don't love you."

But you end up telling them,
"Sorry, hon. I'm just really busy lately with school and chores and practice and drama and..."

Please. You know damn well that you could've texted or said hi, even if you were busy.
So, soon after, you begin ignoring calls and messages again, until they finally ask:

"Come on, baby. What is your deal?"

Time for another frantic lie, and it has to be drastic this time.

"Hon, I think I'm...