Do You Have a Soul to Spare?

The Same Excuse

[i[I was...dreaming. This girl--and this guy--were fighting. I wanted to cry. She was down on her knees. He glared down at her with hate. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't. She looked up at him, sad. That made him go on.

'I thought you loved me!' he screamed. Really screamed. She cried softly but he didn't stop. Stop! Please stop! Don't yell! But he kept yelling! He was...upset. He was mad and sad at the same time-weak. He was hurt. 'Why would you do this to me? I leave for a few years and you cheat on me?'

'You left! You left and never came back! You were gone for 2 years!' She yelled. Yelled! Please make it stop! Why won't you stop?

'I wanted to! Things got in the way! I didn't mean to leave you!'

'I'm sorry!' she cried.

The boy. He was confused. He wanted to die, but didn't want her to live alone. What could he do? He was lost.

The girl. She wanted to die, but couldn't leave him to live alone. What could she do?

I am crying. I don't know why, but I cry. My heart is torn in two. It's hot and I can't breathe. I feel numb. I don't want to be unfeeling again. Leave me alone! Please just go away!

The boy glares at her--sadly--and starts walking.

'No!' She screams. No! No! Don't leave us alone! Not all alone with no one.

'Maybe I don't love you. Obviously you didn't mean a thing you said...' He slipped away. I run and run. I can't reach him. My legs are moving but I'm not going anywhere. I am choking on my own breath. It's hot. Why can't I breathe? Help me! I scream, but I can't hear myself. Don't leave us! We don't want to die! Listen to me!

"Hey! Please don't die! Please! Serena! Wake up! Please! I can't--Wake up! Dammit! Wake up!" She opened her eyes to see Zane looking down at her, inches away. "Thank god! You scared the hell out of me! Don't ever do that again dammit!"

She saw his mouth move but heard nothing. It was like she wasn't even there.

"What...?" Her whisper faded into itself as she closed her eyes.

"No! Get the fuck up! Don't die damn it! Get the fuck up!" He started shaking you and your head starts pounding. You wince and open your eyes. "Don't sleep! Stay awake! I'll keep you awake! I swear! Just...don't..." She felt something cold on her cheek.

'Am I crying?' She moved her hand to her cheek, but it was dry. Was it Zane? She hugged him.

"It's okay. Don't worry. What happened?"

"What happened? What happened? How the hell can you say that? You weren't breathing were sweating... What didn't happen? Your heart even stopped for a minute! I thought you died!"

'Now that I think about it... I think I fell asleep to my own heartbeat...'

"Zane. Let me hear your heartbeat."

"What?? Why?"

"Just let me--"

"No. Stop it." He said finally when she tried to press her ear to his chest. "I said quit!" She backed off and he looked down. "I think you're delirious... Let's not go to school," he muttered quickly.

"What? I am not--I want to go."

"Why? Who's there that you want? Jayke? Is it? Huh? Do you love Jayke?"

"What? I don't even know him--well, hardly! Why would I-"

"Quit stalling!! If you love him then tell me!" Zane yelled.

"No. I don't love him! I promise." Zane seemed to calm down a little. "Why?"

"Uh...It's just...Jayke told me that you...He said that you kissed him, other than that time in class..."

"What? Why would I--?" Serena couldn't make sense of anything.

"Shhh. I believe you." He stroked her hair, "I believe you. Let's just stay home."

"Why do you want to stay home so bad?" She asked Zane.

"Um... It's just...What if another 'episode' happens? And I guess...I have this feeling. I just want you to stay here." He pleaded.

"But I want to go. Please?" After about five minutes he gave in and she got dressed in the bathroom. When she came out, she saw no one there.

"Zane?" Serena called, running down the stairs and nearly falling. "Zane?!" She turned the corner and a pair of ocean blue eyes startled her. She bumped into something and felt something pressed to her lips. Her eyes shot open to see Zane's partially closed. Slowly, she realized that feeling; it was his lips on hers. She leaned in and his arms went around her, pulling her as close as possible. There was a prickling pain on her tongue and she flipped out really. Zane sort of jumped and backed away. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

"No. Its just...Something pricked me." She tasted blood--her own--and opened her mouth. Zane looked down, looking as though he were mentally kicking himself..

"I'm sorry! Come on! Let's dry that up." He rushed her over to the sink and washed all of the blood out. He pulled her into a soft, but protective embrace. They just stood like that for what seemed like eternity until a horn broke the trance.

"The bus!" Serena pulled away to go get her stuff, but Zane pulled her back.

"We'll walk." She agreed voluntarily and looked out the window to see the bus going by- Cherry and Jayke staring at her and Zane. Chills went down her spine and she shivered. Their eyes seemed to glare at the both of them when they passed.

After getting all of her stuff, she headed out the door and walked to school. Zane talked to her about some strange stuff like last Halloween and anything that popped into mind. He even somehow managed to get mythology into the conversation.

"Did you know that some people even believe werewolves and vampires still exist? I mean, I believe they were all accused as witches and were killed off. Do you believe in that stuff?" Zane asked her as they walked, hardly aware that his arm was on her shoulder.

"I don't know. I guess it would be kind of cool. I mean, when other little girls wanted to be ballet dancers, I kind of wanted to be a vampire. I bet that sounds kind of creepy."

"No. Not at all. We all think different ways." He smiled that sweet smile, but somehow that smile seemed to bring a sharp, quick pain to her eyes and she tripped over her feet.

"Sorry!" Zane exclaimed, helping her up. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to make you fall! I'm an idiot! I'm sorry!"

"Shh. No more blabbing. I'm fine. I don't know what happened though."

'Yeah, but I do...' She shook her head and smiled at him. He smiled wearily and led her into the auditorium.

"Missed you on the bus, Serena." Cherry remarked when Serena and Zane sat down.

"Yeah. Sorry. I wasn't even ready." She laughed, uneasy. Jayke just sat still next to Zane.

"I bet not," she said and turned to Jayke.

"So, Jayke, anything interesting happen in the morning?" Cherry asked him.

"Don't talk to me. I'm Jay. Just shut the fuck up." He was presumably not in a good mood. He turned from her and started talking to Zane, curiously enough, about myths.

"Well, you're just a big bowl of sunshine today, aren't you?" She grumbled and turned back to Serena, decided she would allow her back into conversation. "So, Serena, did you do your homework? I did for once! And I have a good feeling!" She forced a smile and nodded.

"Hello, Serena!!" She turned and unfortunately saw that weird girl from yesterday. "Any tragic events to share with us and make us feel better? Hehe! Joking, but sorry about your parents!" Cathy said and walked away briskly right after.

"What a freak. So why were you really late?" Cherry asked and Jayke--Jay--looked up as did Zane. Zane shook his head, pretending to fix his hair.

"Really. I wasn't ready. Why can't that be believable?"

"Okay...But if you ever want to tell me--in private--then I'm always here or there!" Cherry then tried to talk to Jay only to be flipped off. They were dismissed to their first class--chemistry. And today was going to be a day Serena wouldn't forget.