What's My Age Again?

“Happy birthday Mark man.” Tom says messing up his friend’s hair, “Twenty-three, you’re getting old.”
“Yeah, right.” Mark says rolling his eyes, “Travis, doesn’t think I’m old.” He nods towards the drummer drinking a beer.
“That’s cause you’re his booze supply.” Tom mumbles under his breath, “And mine, for the next couple of years.”

The bar they’re in is a little crowded so the younger members of the band won’t get carded.
“Hey you.” Kelly says walking up to the table and sitting on Mark’s lap, “Happy birthday.”
“You know it.” He says evilly.
“Wanna make it happier?” She giggles and stands up taking his hand and pulling him towards the door.
“Bye guys.” Mark calls to his abandoned band mates.

Kelly pushes him down on the couch and then starts kissing him passionately. She pulls his shirt off over his head.
“Wait, what time is it?” he says as he hold her away from himself for a second.
“Doesn’t matter.” She gasps as she takes off her pants.
“C’mon.” he says as he grabs her wrist and looks at her watch, “Oh!”
“What?” Kelly demands as she puts her hand on her hips impatiently. Mark grabs the television remote off the floor and presses POWER.
“MADTV is on.” He says as he sits up.
“You’re joking right?”
“Nope, see we already missed the first bit.”
“Grow up.” She screeches as she pulls on her pants and trudges out the door with her shoes in her hand.
“Psht.” Mark says as he sits back and enjoys the show.

The next morning Mark wakes up to a Sunday morning infomercial. He stands up and stretches to find he’s not wearing a shirt. He glances around to the room trying to find where Kelly threw it but soon gives up and goes into the kitchen to call Kelly.
“Hello.”
“Hey Kelly, wanna pick up where we left off last night?”
“Get bent.”
“Ouch.”
“Call me when you start acting your age.”
“C’mon.” he pleads but she’d already hung up, “Bitch.” He mutters as he redials her phone number.

“Hello?” her mother’s voice answers.
“Shit.” Mark mouths, he clears his throat, “This is Officer Johnson, we’ve got your husband Mr. uhh Henders here in custody.”
“What?”
“We put him under arrest for lewd behavior.”
“Mark, is that you?”
“Oh fuck.” Mark says as he hangs up quickly, “Stupid, stupid, stupid!” he exclaims as he smacks his forehead, “Fucking caller display!”

He drags his feet over to the fridge to find it empty.
“Mc Donald’s here I come.” He says as he goes into his bedroom. He grabs a grash shirt from the pile of clothing in the corner then heads out.

“Mommy! I don’t want to go to gramma’s!” A little kid shrieks at the table in front of him. He rubs his forehead then takes a bite from his Mc Breakfast sandwich.
“Mommy knows you don’t like it there but she’s lonely.” The mother replies weakly.
“I don’t wanna go! I don’t wanna go!”
“Shut up!” Mark exclaims. The mother and child fall silent and then the child starts crying.
“What kind of moron are you?” the mother asks him, “You can’t talk like that to a child.”
“I can talk however I damn well please, personally I think you should spend more time teaching your kid manners than me, because, fuck that’s annoying.”
“Come Austin.” She says to the child, “We’re leaving.”
“Buh-bye.” Mark says rolling his eyes as he takes another bite from his sandwich.

He glances around the restaurant to see a girl, bit younger than him a couple of tables away with black, red and blue hair tied into two short, stubby pigtails. She’s wearing a white Ramones, a bunch of beaded choker necklaces with guitar picks and safety pins dangling from them, jeans with writing all over them. Her nails are coated in chipping black nail polish and her wrists and hidden by the bunches of bracelets and cuffs. He can’t help but stare as she fiddles with the crappy Mc Donald’s toy carelessly, occasionally taking a sip from her drink.

She stands up and goes to the table next to hers where a mother and two kids are sitting peacefully eating their breakfasts. She gives the toy to the little girl.
“Thank you.” he sees the little girl say as she holds on tightly to the toy. The multi-coloured hair girl walks straight up to him and sits at his table.

“Very nice there.” She says casually.
“Hmm?” Mark asks confused.
“Getting rid of super brat and push over mom.”
“Ohh.” Mark laughs, “Its no problem.” There’s an awkward pause as she stares right at him, “Is that all you came over to tell me?”
“Nah, that and as soon as that team of super idiots left I caught you staring.”
“I have a girlfriend.”
“No you don’t.”
“How would you know that?”
“Its Sunday morning, you’re hung over and you’re alone.” She smirks, “She’d either be here with you, or you’d still be at wherever it was you slept, with her.” Mark’s mouth hangs open for a second.
“Know-it-all.”
“So she left you last night, huh?” she says crossing her arms.
“Why would I talk to you, I don’t even know your name.” Mark says trying to look away from her.
“My name’s Tina.” She stays silent for a couple of moments, “And yours is . . .”
“Mark.” He crosses his arms but she doesn’t move or say anything, “Aren’t you a bit old for happy meals?”
“Ahh, so you admit it, you were staring.” She giggles, “Portion control baby, this food’ll kill you.”
“Uhuh.”
“Shit,” she mutters, “I’m late for work. See ya around Mark.” She says getting up hurriedly.
“Uhh okay then.” He says totally confused as she runs out of the restaurant.