What's My Age Again?

“Mark!” his boss calls as he walks into work. Mark glances at his watch, he wasn’t late. He walks up to his boss and gets handed an envelope. “Some girl came by earlier today and told me to give this to you.”
“Uhh thanks.” He says as he heads into the backroom to dump his stuff. As he’s standing in the staff room he tears open the envelope and pulls out a piece of paper. A photocopied butt and the words April Fools! He turns the paper over to see a small note Like my ass? Meet me at the coffee shop next door after your shift. Tina. “What the fuck?”

Mark closes his eyes for a brief moment and lets out a sigh before getting to work restocking shelves and dealing with customers. After his shift as he’s about to walk to the bus stop he decides to stop off at the coffee shop anyway.
“Hi Mark!” Tina says from one of the tables near the window, “I already got you an ice cap.”
“You are one crazy bitch!” he hisses.
“Uhh. Why exactly?”
“You stalk me for three days, we go on a date and then you disappear for two weeks!”
“I thought you didn’t want it to be a date and besides I was busy.”
“Doing what?”
“I had midterms and shit to take care of.”

Both of them fall silent as they sip from their coffees.
“What are you studying?”
“You know, the basics.” She says simply.
“Uhuh, so like social sciences?”
“Yeah, something like that.”
“So what college do you go to?”
“My bus is coming.” She says glancing at her watch quickly and dashing out the door. Mark grabs his ice cap and runs after and gets on the bus as well.

“You are crazy, have I told you that before?”
“Yet you keep meeting up with me.” she says cocking her eyebrows.
“That’s cause, urgh.”
“That’s cause there’s something about me you like.” She teases.
“So where are you headed?”
“Work.” She says as she stands up, grabbing one of the nearby bars, “And I’m the next stop, see ya Mark.” She leans forward and pecks his lips quickly before heading to the front of the bus.

She steps off the bus and so does Mark.
“Now who’s stalking who?” she says crossing her arms.
“Its only fair.” He calls back. She shrugs and starts walking down the street as Mark follows a couple of yards behind.

She enters an ice cream parlor on the corner.
“You work here?” Mark says in disbelief as she hops the counter and washer her hands in a sink.
“Yeah? You got a problem?” she says as she takes an apron off a hook and puts it on.
“A bit of a juvenile job.”
“Ohh, mister big words.” She says rolling her eyes, “Now unless you’re going to buy something, leave.” Mark shakes his head and heads out the door.

The next day, after work, Mark arrives at the ice cream shop again.
“Fuck you later.” Tina calls to him, receiving a pissed off glare from her supervisor for her choice language.
“Fudge sundae.”
“Uhh okay.” She says as she grabs a cup and goes over to the ice cream machine, “You’re gonna have to pay for it.”
“Fine.” He says as he stands up from his table and goes up to the cash.
“Peanuts or sprinkles.”
“Hmm nuts.” He says grinning.
“Perv.” She mumbles as she pours hot fudge on the ice cream then dumps a scoop of peanuts, “I only get off in a couple of hours.” She says so that the supervisor doesn’t over hear.
“Oh, so you’re all responsible at work then.” Mark says as he grabs a spoon from the bin next to the cash.
“Two-fifty.” He reaches into his pocket and gives her three dollars before going to sit down at a table.

Mark takes his sweet ass time eating his sundae, using said time to make Tina feel as uncomfortable as possible by watching her every move. After his sundae is gone he realizes he’s still got some more time to kill before her shift is up. An hour and a half to be exact, so he leaves the shop and walks to Travis’s.

“Where’s Tom?” Travis asks as Mark lets himself into the garage.
“I dunno.”
“I didn’t know we had band practice.” Travis says as he adjusts the positioning of his snare.
“We don’t. I’m just waiting for that crazy chick to get off work.”
“Why? I thought she was going to super glue your balls to your ass or something like that.”
“Uhh yeah, she’s a little weird, but whatever.” Mark says as he sits on the beat up sofa next to the drum set and picks up his bass.
“Uhuh.” Travis says absently as he adjusts one of his cymbals. Mark starts playing a random bass scale while Travis continues to readjust his entire drum set.

The phone starts to ring from inside the house.
“Can you get that?” Travis mutters. Seeing as his band mate is trying to hold a cymbal up with one hand, stopping the floor tom from tipping over with his right foot whilst moving the snare with his other hand, Mark gets up and heads into the house.

“Hello?” Mark says picking up the phone.
“Yes, this is Mrs. McAllister, vice principal of Fontana High School.”
“Uhh.” Mark stutters.
“I’m calling in regards to your niece Christina. She’s been skipping her mathematics course all week.”
“Okay.”
“This causes us great concern.”
“I’ll uhh see to it.” Mark says furrowing his eyebrows.
“Well you better, because she’s not showing up to her detentions either.”
“Yes sir.” Mark says hanging up the phone then laughing because he called mrs a sir.

“Who was it?” Travis asks finally content with the positioning of his drum set and taking a seat.
“Vice principal of your cousin’s school, apparently she’s skipping math and not showing up to her detentions and shit like that.”
“Oh okay.” Travis says shrugging then commences to bash away at his set.

They jam for a bit until Mark realizes that the hour and a half flew by and leaves the garage to go back to the ice cream shop.
“You’re late.” Tina says as he walks into the shop.
“By like five minutes.” Mark says shaking his head laughing as she links arms with his and they head out. She looks at her watch.
“Nine thirty-six, that’s six minutes late.” She says with a laugh.

“So where do you want to go?”
“I want to see where you live.” She says confidently.
“Uhh okay.” He says shrugging, “We need to catch the 42 bus then.”
“That only comes at ten.” She sighs, “Let’s make out.”
“Are you serious?” Mark asks furrowing his eyebrows, “Right here in the middle of the street?”
“Of course not!” she exclaims, “We might get hit by a car.” She rolls her eyes as she pulls him to the sidewalk, “Here’s a good place.” She pulls him into an open mouth kiss shoving her tongue in his mouth and massaging it against his.

She pulls away.
“God Mark, have you ever made out with anyone before?” she says annoyed. This sort of bruises Mark’s ego so he pushes her against the wall and takes control of an intense kiss and moves his hands under her shirt. He feels her leg wrap around him as she really gets into it.
“Get a room!” a passerby yells.
“You’re just jealous!” Tina yells back then goes to start kissing and sucking on Mark’s neck, “Oh bus!”

They part, and run for the bus stop just as the bus pulls up.
“Well that was interesting.” Mark says wiping his mouth as they take their seats on the bus.
“Uhuh.” She says adjusting one of her pigtails, thanks to Mark’s handiwork they came loose, “You don’t live with your parents do you?”
“Fuck no,” Mark laughs, “I live alone.”
“So like in the slums.”
“I prefer the term bohemian paradise.” He says smiling.
“Fair enough.” She sighs as she rests her head back.
“You are so fucked up.”
“Why?” she murmurs.
“Because one minute you’re furiously making out with me the next you’re about to pass out.”
“I give you permission to use my body to your pleasure while I’m passed out.” she says smirking, “That better?”
“You’re sick.”
“I’m quite healthy thanks for asking.” She says shutting her eyes.
“Sick in the head.”
“Now that’s more plausible.” She rests her eyes and waits for Mark to tell her when its his stop.

“Wake up.” He says nudging her and then pressing the button to signal the driver to stop. She smiles as she stands up and they heads to the front of the bus. She laces her fingers through his and they walk down the street. “This is it.” He unlocks a door and leads Tina up a flight of stares then unlocks the door to his apartment.
“Wow, it’s a dump.” Tina comments, “I like it.”
“Thanks.” Mark laughs as he locks the door behind him, “So do you wanna make out again?”
“Nah, Beavis and Butthead is on.” Mark stares at her stunned as she goes up to the TV and turns it on.
“Did you just say that?” he asks as she backs up and sits on the couch.
“Say what?”
“You wanted to watch TV over making out.”
“Yeah, what’s the problem?” she says staring at the TV.
“There is none.” He says as he goes to sit next to her.

They sit quietly in front of the glow of the TV and watch the two cartoon jackasses cause shit. The end credits of the show start to roll and Tina looks over at Mark.
“Where’s the bathroom?”
“Uhh down the hall.” He says with a pathetic wave of his hand. She gets up and disappears down the hall.

She returns moments later and stands in front of Mark.
“Put this on.” She says, he looks up at her to see her holding a condom package forward. He takes it from her and looks at it.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to get pregnant.” She says rolling her eyes as she turns on her heel and walks away.

Mark stares at the condom then looks back up. He gets up and follows Tina, removing most of his clothes on the way to his bedroom. By the time he gets to the room, Tina is standing there in only her bra and jeans. He stares at her as she carefully unzips the front and slides the dark denim down her legs revealing a pair of skimpy blue panties.
“You serious?” Mark asks not believing his eyes.
“I told you when you came into the ice cream shop today, fuck ya later.” She unhooks her bra, “It’s later.”

Mark in only his boxers practically sprints over to Tina and pulls her into a vigorous kiss of devouring proportions and a generous use of tongue. He feels her soft breasts press against his chest which makes him even more aroused then he already was.
“Fuck Tina.” He gasps as they fall onto his bed. He arches his back to take of his boxers while still trying to keep as much contact with Tina as possible. When he succeeds he moves onto removing her panties.
“Condom jackass!” she says slapping his chest.
“Shit.” He glances to the floor to see it lying there. She reaches off the bed and grabs the packet and rips the package open with her teeth. He unrolls it over his hardened member then rolls over so he’s straddling her. “Ready?”
“Fuck yeah.” She gasps.

Mark wakes up with his arms around Tina. Her hair is an absolute mess, the elastics are barely dangling from her non-existent pigtails. He’s surprised the necklaces around her neck aren’t strangling her but her steady breathing proves otherwise. He kisses her neck gently.
“Shit!” she says milliseconds after waking up, “It’s already nine!”
“What’s the problem?” Mark yawns as she leaps out of bed and starts getting dressed.
“I have an algebra test first period.”

Mark stares at her then it hits him.
“Wait you have algebra? That’s not part of social sciences.” He says abruptly, “Wait, are you still in high school?”
“Uhh, sort of.” She says buttoning her jeans.
“What do you mean sort of?” he says angrily, “You realize I could be arrested for sleeping with you!”
“Don’t worry, I’m eighteen.” She grumbles as she ties her hair.
“Eighteen, fuck!”
“What?”
“I thought you were older, like twenty.”
“Two years, big whoop.” Tina says pulling on her shoes, “Can we talk about this later, I’ve got to go.”