Shine a Light
Hangovers and Panic attacks
“So what do we do now?” I asked, currently resting against Billie’s naked chest, a blue car inked beneath my cheek. Billie shifted underneath me, “err I dunno…”
I sighed hoping for a more fulfilling answer. The fact that I had given in to Billie so easily made me want to punch myself. I wondered what Marcus would say when I told him,
“Vera you lucky bastard, even you couldn’t resist him, told you so.”
“Was he any good?”
“Can I borrow him?”
I chuckled at my thoughts unaware that Billie was watching me intently.
“What are you laughing at?” he asked looking a little scared.
“You” I snapped jokily running my hand across his skin, my palms pulsating at the soft texture.
“Me? Why? If I was that shit then you are a bloody good actor.” I started laughing as he chuckled nervously.
“You still haven’t answered my question.” I giggled looking up at him and grinning.
“It’s because I want to lay here for the rest of the day but I have to go back to the studio otherwise the others will hang me.” He sighed pulling me slightly closer to him.
“I should be meeting Marcus anyway, I say meeting I mean going to see if he’s still alive after last night.”
Billie chuckled.
“I will call you later” He smiled at me. I nodded, seriously doubting whether he would or not and waiting for him to leap up and dash from my room, dressed of course.
I waited five minutes and he still didn’t move.
“Take your time” I whispered sarcastically shifting upwards and stroking a piece of hair behind his ear.
“I don’t want to go” he whined brushing his thumb across my face.
“Then don’t”
“But I have too” his whining became higher.
I huffed, “I’m going the bathroom” I giggled shifting out of the bed before pulling the duvet with an almighty tug leaving Billie looking up at me, shocked and sprawled naked on the bed beneath him wondering where the duvet had just disappeared too. I cackled and raced for the bathroom, shutting the door and giggling like crazy.
I looked into the mirror, my hair screamed sexual activity, and wrapping the duvet around me I shivered in the cold bathroom. I couldn’t believe I had just done that, for some reason it felt right, it was weird of course because I never actually drop my knickers so quickly in a relationship but Billie was Billie. A guy who was good looking, intelligent and had impeccable taste I giggled nervously, this was too good to be true, if he wasn’t a crazy stalker there had to be something else.
Walking back into the room I saw Billie had gotten dressed, he was fastening his belt upon my entrance and glanced upwards as I sat on the edge of the bed.
“Thanks for leaving me exposed” he grinned sliding next to me on his knees and wrapping his arms around my neck.
“Your welcome” I grinned back, “anytime”
“I’ll hold you to that. Right, I best be off, I’ll ring you later, maybe we could go for a drink or something?”
“Sound” I sighed back.
“See you later then” he whispered leaning in to kiss me.
A breath intake later and those lips had left my own, gone, down the corridor with their owner and leaving me to wonder what the hell was going to happen next.
I woke up with the retching in my throat that you get after spending a night poised over the toilet and vomiting up the 20 or so beers you’d just digested. My hand clutched the burning mass erupting in my throat and I felt the convulsions of another round of vomit lurching backup through my system. Oh God I had drunk too much, far too much I sat up…too quickly, and my brain thudded against my skull. Christ. I woke up next to Marcus, bottles lay all around us as the television skidded horizontally with black and white lines.
Marcus groaned next to me,
“Morning miss alcoholic 3000” he chuckled.
“You didn’t help me round these off?”
“Are you kidding?” He smirked, “as if I’d drink beer…you don’t remember anything from last night do you?”
I looked at him wide eyed, “We didn’t have sex did we?”
Marcus tossed his head back and laughed, “No. We didn’t but you and Billie did and you came around here looking for beer and a shoulder to mope on.”
My mouth dropped, I picked up my cell, 14 missed calls all from Billie Joe.
“Shit” I spat.
“Yeah well you wouldn’t answer, you were so angry with yourself that you gave into him so quickly.” Marcus grinned.
“How’s your hangover?” I croaked folding my head in my arms.
“Mine has pretty much gone; it seems to have rubbed off on you though. You better ring the eyeliner God back.”
I scowled at Marcus unable to physically lunge in his direction or open my mouth to snarl a sarcastic comment.
I coughed, sending sickly shudders through my system. I pressed recall and propped the phone against my ear as I tucked my knees up to my chin.
It rang, and rang and rang, and rang again. I sighed; he was obviously getting back at me.
“Hello?”
I snapped up as his voice floated across the line.
“Err, hi”
Silence erupted.
“Billie Joe…”
“Hi” He grunted back.
“Hi”
“What do you want?” he asked quite abruptly.
“I’m returning your, ahem, calls”
“Oh right…thanks” he said, a dose of my own sarcasm hitting me hard in the face. I swallowed; I had no idea what the hell I could say to him.
“So…why didn’t you pick up the fourteen times I rang you?”
“I’m sorry Billie I got really drunk last night with Marcus and…”
“Oh right” his voice growled again. I bit my lip, do I apologize or not?
“Well I hope you have a bitch of a hangover now dearest” he spat, a hint of humour in his voice.
“Yeah I do actually” I smiled into the phone.
“I suppose I can forgive you know, since you found…”
“Since I found out that your obsessed with me?” I teased feeling my stomach shift again awkwardly.
“Yeah” Billie laughed. “Anyway, fancy meeting up?”
I giggled silently as Marcus walked past picking up all the empty bottles of corona and placing them in a bag, he shook his head at me.
“Okay when.”
“Err, dunno, I didn’t actually think you’d agree”
I burst out laughing as Marcus tutted in annoyance.
“Hey, we could go explore the gardens?”
I grinned down the phone, “How exciting”
“Okay then don’t”
I chuckled again, “Nah that sounds great I don’t think I could handle food, drink or music, fresh air sounds nice though.”
Billie laughed, “Great, meet you there at 2 then?”
“What time is it now?”
“Eleven.”
“Perfect”
I grinned putting the phone down.
Marcus turned to me after clearing up my mess, “Everything okay now miss “I don’t like commitment or fucking a gorgeous guy?”
I snarled at him, “You missed a bottle over there.”
I sighed hoping for a more fulfilling answer. The fact that I had given in to Billie so easily made me want to punch myself. I wondered what Marcus would say when I told him,
“Vera you lucky bastard, even you couldn’t resist him, told you so.”
“Was he any good?”
“Can I borrow him?”
I chuckled at my thoughts unaware that Billie was watching me intently.
“What are you laughing at?” he asked looking a little scared.
“You” I snapped jokily running my hand across his skin, my palms pulsating at the soft texture.
“Me? Why? If I was that shit then you are a bloody good actor.” I started laughing as he chuckled nervously.
“You still haven’t answered my question.” I giggled looking up at him and grinning.
“It’s because I want to lay here for the rest of the day but I have to go back to the studio otherwise the others will hang me.” He sighed pulling me slightly closer to him.
“I should be meeting Marcus anyway, I say meeting I mean going to see if he’s still alive after last night.”
Billie chuckled.
“I will call you later” He smiled at me. I nodded, seriously doubting whether he would or not and waiting for him to leap up and dash from my room, dressed of course.
I waited five minutes and he still didn’t move.
“Take your time” I whispered sarcastically shifting upwards and stroking a piece of hair behind his ear.
“I don’t want to go” he whined brushing his thumb across my face.
“Then don’t”
“But I have too” his whining became higher.
I huffed, “I’m going the bathroom” I giggled shifting out of the bed before pulling the duvet with an almighty tug leaving Billie looking up at me, shocked and sprawled naked on the bed beneath him wondering where the duvet had just disappeared too. I cackled and raced for the bathroom, shutting the door and giggling like crazy.
I looked into the mirror, my hair screamed sexual activity, and wrapping the duvet around me I shivered in the cold bathroom. I couldn’t believe I had just done that, for some reason it felt right, it was weird of course because I never actually drop my knickers so quickly in a relationship but Billie was Billie. A guy who was good looking, intelligent and had impeccable taste I giggled nervously, this was too good to be true, if he wasn’t a crazy stalker there had to be something else.
Walking back into the room I saw Billie had gotten dressed, he was fastening his belt upon my entrance and glanced upwards as I sat on the edge of the bed.
“Thanks for leaving me exposed” he grinned sliding next to me on his knees and wrapping his arms around my neck.
“Your welcome” I grinned back, “anytime”
“I’ll hold you to that. Right, I best be off, I’ll ring you later, maybe we could go for a drink or something?”
“Sound” I sighed back.
“See you later then” he whispered leaning in to kiss me.
A breath intake later and those lips had left my own, gone, down the corridor with their owner and leaving me to wonder what the hell was going to happen next.
I woke up with the retching in my throat that you get after spending a night poised over the toilet and vomiting up the 20 or so beers you’d just digested. My hand clutched the burning mass erupting in my throat and I felt the convulsions of another round of vomit lurching backup through my system. Oh God I had drunk too much, far too much I sat up…too quickly, and my brain thudded against my skull. Christ. I woke up next to Marcus, bottles lay all around us as the television skidded horizontally with black and white lines.
Marcus groaned next to me,
“Morning miss alcoholic 3000” he chuckled.
“You didn’t help me round these off?”
“Are you kidding?” He smirked, “as if I’d drink beer…you don’t remember anything from last night do you?”
I looked at him wide eyed, “We didn’t have sex did we?”
Marcus tossed his head back and laughed, “No. We didn’t but you and Billie did and you came around here looking for beer and a shoulder to mope on.”
My mouth dropped, I picked up my cell, 14 missed calls all from Billie Joe.
“Shit” I spat.
“Yeah well you wouldn’t answer, you were so angry with yourself that you gave into him so quickly.” Marcus grinned.
“How’s your hangover?” I croaked folding my head in my arms.
“Mine has pretty much gone; it seems to have rubbed off on you though. You better ring the eyeliner God back.”
I scowled at Marcus unable to physically lunge in his direction or open my mouth to snarl a sarcastic comment.
I coughed, sending sickly shudders through my system. I pressed recall and propped the phone against my ear as I tucked my knees up to my chin.
It rang, and rang and rang, and rang again. I sighed; he was obviously getting back at me.
“Hello?”
I snapped up as his voice floated across the line.
“Err, hi”
Silence erupted.
“Billie Joe…”
“Hi” He grunted back.
“Hi”
“What do you want?” he asked quite abruptly.
“I’m returning your, ahem, calls”
“Oh right…thanks” he said, a dose of my own sarcasm hitting me hard in the face. I swallowed; I had no idea what the hell I could say to him.
“So…why didn’t you pick up the fourteen times I rang you?”
“I’m sorry Billie I got really drunk last night with Marcus and…”
“Oh right” his voice growled again. I bit my lip, do I apologize or not?
“Well I hope you have a bitch of a hangover now dearest” he spat, a hint of humour in his voice.
“Yeah I do actually” I smiled into the phone.
“I suppose I can forgive you know, since you found…”
“Since I found out that your obsessed with me?” I teased feeling my stomach shift again awkwardly.
“Yeah” Billie laughed. “Anyway, fancy meeting up?”
I giggled silently as Marcus walked past picking up all the empty bottles of corona and placing them in a bag, he shook his head at me.
“Okay when.”
“Err, dunno, I didn’t actually think you’d agree”
I burst out laughing as Marcus tutted in annoyance.
“Hey, we could go explore the gardens?”
I grinned down the phone, “How exciting”
“Okay then don’t”
I chuckled again, “Nah that sounds great I don’t think I could handle food, drink or music, fresh air sounds nice though.”
Billie laughed, “Great, meet you there at 2 then?”
“What time is it now?”
“Eleven.”
“Perfect”
I grinned putting the phone down.
Marcus turned to me after clearing up my mess, “Everything okay now miss “I don’t like commitment or fucking a gorgeous guy?”
I snarled at him, “You missed a bottle over there.”