Shine a Light
Waltzing around the bookstore
Looking upwards, there he was, just as I remembered, all Green Eyes and Black messy hair.
I stared at him, so shocked I couldn’t even comprehend that I had stood up or that my mouth was hanging loose.
A wicked smile formed on his face, “Will you sign my book?”
I clamped my mouth shut and frowned at him, how dare he even think of coming here, how the hell did he find me anyway?
“I saw the advertisement for your signing, but unfortunately we have only just arrived on tour here so excuse me for being late.” He explained like he could read my thoughts.
I couldn’t move, how the hell was he here? Why on earth was this happening and who the bloody hell did he think he was waltzing in here and acting like nothing had ever happened between us.
What angered me the most was that I couldn’t find any words to say to his oh so fucking smug yet annoyingly gorgeous little face.
A deadly awkward silence interrupted between us and I begged for a sudden earthquake to shake just so it could stop this event from happening. The likelihood of earthquakes in Camedon however was small and Billie shifted on the heels of his feet awkwardly, looking like he thoroughly regretted this.
I suppose it wasn’t how he imagined this happening. In his world, he’d prance in like Fred Astaire dressed as Joe Strummer and I would be Ginger Rogers and gracefully fall into his arms and we’d waltz around the back room of the book store that had suddenly been transformed into a beautiful marble hall.
But this wasn’t Billie Joe World and surprisingly not everything went his way.
“I err…I suppose I should go, this was an obvious mistake…” He mumbled turning towards the door.
“What did you expect to happen?” I asked folding my arms and perching on the table behind me.
“I’d thought you would work with me a little more than to just stand there not saying anything.” He snapped turning around.
“What did you expect? Have you forgotten that you lied to me twice? Or is this a habit of yours? To block things out that get in the way?”
Billie snapped his mouth shut, momentarily mulling over my words.
“I am trying to do the right thing. I want to apologise, I want to make things right…it’s why I came.”
His voice wavered and I kicked myself for softening at his darkening eyes. No, I can’t give in I can’t soften.
“Okay but that doesn't make you any less married or any less of a father.” His shoulders slumped.
“Okay, I expected that” He sighed.
“Really? Then what possessed you into thinking you’d trot over here then if nothing is different?” I snarled standing up from my perched position.
“You” he shrugged, “I wanted to see you, I can’t stop thinking about everything that happened, how much of a retard I was…”
“You can say that again”
“How that I just thought that maybe, you, err, wanted to let me explain, or you know, patch things up, and be friends…”
Friends. The word 'friends' stabbed my intestine with a sword, friends. The ultimate humiliation, I’m sorry you can’t have me but we can still be friends and I’ll flaunt the fact that I could have you if I was unattached.
Billie opened his mouth as he saw my face fall but thank god at that very moment Ed decided to waltz through the door.
He froze at Billie and looked between us probably feeling the icy tension in the room.
“Am I interrupting anything here?” Ed asked taking in Billie once more.
“No” I snapped.
“Look Vera…” Billie turned ,approaching me, his every step making my insides churn.
“Here”
He picked up my hand and slapped a piece of paper into my palm quickly.
“We're playing tonight, that’ll get you backstage, just…it would be nice to see you there and you did ask to come and watch us play sometime.” He shrugged turning on his heels quickly and nodding at Ed as he left the room.
I looked down at the ticket in my palm. Heart beating so loud against my chest I thought it may pop out and smack Ed in the face.
“Vera…Who on earth was that?” He asked completely gob smacked.
I continued to stare at the ticket, was it the offer to come and see him tonight? The fact that he had appeared out of the blue just to see me? Or was it that fiery tingling sensation on my hand from where he had just touched my skin that made me want to run after him and follow.
“That guy…” I began finally taking my eyes of the ticket in my palm and turning to Ed,
“Is the biggest arsehole ever.”
I stared at him, so shocked I couldn’t even comprehend that I had stood up or that my mouth was hanging loose.
A wicked smile formed on his face, “Will you sign my book?”
I clamped my mouth shut and frowned at him, how dare he even think of coming here, how the hell did he find me anyway?
“I saw the advertisement for your signing, but unfortunately we have only just arrived on tour here so excuse me for being late.” He explained like he could read my thoughts.
I couldn’t move, how the hell was he here? Why on earth was this happening and who the bloody hell did he think he was waltzing in here and acting like nothing had ever happened between us.
What angered me the most was that I couldn’t find any words to say to his oh so fucking smug yet annoyingly gorgeous little face.
A deadly awkward silence interrupted between us and I begged for a sudden earthquake to shake just so it could stop this event from happening. The likelihood of earthquakes in Camedon however was small and Billie shifted on the heels of his feet awkwardly, looking like he thoroughly regretted this.
I suppose it wasn’t how he imagined this happening. In his world, he’d prance in like Fred Astaire dressed as Joe Strummer and I would be Ginger Rogers and gracefully fall into his arms and we’d waltz around the back room of the book store that had suddenly been transformed into a beautiful marble hall.
But this wasn’t Billie Joe World and surprisingly not everything went his way.
“I err…I suppose I should go, this was an obvious mistake…” He mumbled turning towards the door.
“What did you expect to happen?” I asked folding my arms and perching on the table behind me.
“I’d thought you would work with me a little more than to just stand there not saying anything.” He snapped turning around.
“What did you expect? Have you forgotten that you lied to me twice? Or is this a habit of yours? To block things out that get in the way?”
Billie snapped his mouth shut, momentarily mulling over my words.
“I am trying to do the right thing. I want to apologise, I want to make things right…it’s why I came.”
His voice wavered and I kicked myself for softening at his darkening eyes. No, I can’t give in I can’t soften.
“Okay but that doesn't make you any less married or any less of a father.” His shoulders slumped.
“Okay, I expected that” He sighed.
“Really? Then what possessed you into thinking you’d trot over here then if nothing is different?” I snarled standing up from my perched position.
“You” he shrugged, “I wanted to see you, I can’t stop thinking about everything that happened, how much of a retard I was…”
“You can say that again”
“How that I just thought that maybe, you, err, wanted to let me explain, or you know, patch things up, and be friends…”
Friends. The word 'friends' stabbed my intestine with a sword, friends. The ultimate humiliation, I’m sorry you can’t have me but we can still be friends and I’ll flaunt the fact that I could have you if I was unattached.
Billie opened his mouth as he saw my face fall but thank god at that very moment Ed decided to waltz through the door.
He froze at Billie and looked between us probably feeling the icy tension in the room.
“Am I interrupting anything here?” Ed asked taking in Billie once more.
“No” I snapped.
“Look Vera…” Billie turned ,approaching me, his every step making my insides churn.
“Here”
He picked up my hand and slapped a piece of paper into my palm quickly.
“We're playing tonight, that’ll get you backstage, just…it would be nice to see you there and you did ask to come and watch us play sometime.” He shrugged turning on his heels quickly and nodding at Ed as he left the room.
I looked down at the ticket in my palm. Heart beating so loud against my chest I thought it may pop out and smack Ed in the face.
“Vera…Who on earth was that?” He asked completely gob smacked.
I continued to stare at the ticket, was it the offer to come and see him tonight? The fact that he had appeared out of the blue just to see me? Or was it that fiery tingling sensation on my hand from where he had just touched my skin that made me want to run after him and follow.
“That guy…” I began finally taking my eyes of the ticket in my palm and turning to Ed,
“Is the biggest arsehole ever.”