Shine a Light

Hold on me

Billie drew himself away from my chest, still heaving and sweaty he smiled as he fought for breath bringing his arm around me and pulling my exhausted frame almost on top of him.
Kissing my forehead sloppily he sighed. I was utterly spent; too exhausted to even smile back I rested against his damp chest and just inhaled him. He smelled so good, he smelt of Billie. God it felt so perfect lying here next to him, my gut wobbled in a satisfactory trip of pleasure. Coming down from a climax with him lying next to me made everything in the world make sense for just a few minutes. Nothing else mattered, the insignificance of me as an individual didn’t exist, I was here, I loved Billie and I treasured every moment of it. God, if only he was all mine, maybe he was, well, right now anyway he was, he was all mine. Selfish I know, but I am loving that feeling. And, just for a few moments, he wasn’t some rock God, he wasn’t some father, or husband or manager, or boss…he was my lover. MINE. Yes, be jealous, I want you all to be so green with envy. Because that’s how I feel when I realize he has to go back to her…

God, green monster strikes again. He’s on the phone to her now, gab, gab, gab. Adrienne is her name, whenever he says it I keep picturing Adrian Mole. As if, she’s probably a regulation hottie. Who am I kidding?
I was sipping my tea as he traced the tiled floor of my kitchen, rubbing his tired face and chin and glancing at me worriedly. As if him being on the phone would make me turn into medusa. He snapped his phone shut and collapsed onto the chair opposite me, head in hands.
“What’s up?” I asked putting my cup down onto the wood.
He groaned and rolled his head upwards to look at me, “I think I’m actually still a 9 year old kid”
“Don’t tell the police then, I’ll get arrested” I smirked.
“No seriously, I don’t think, I just want and want and not even consider the consequences”
“What’s happened?”
“She’s coming over here to see me. What should I do?”
I sighed, taking another sip from my tea, “You’re asking me this question and I’ve never met her.”
“I know” Billie grinned back at me. “It feels like my head is going to burst”
“There’s resolve in the cupboard” I smirked over my cup of tea, kind of liking him being under this pressure. It also felt like I had the upper hand in this situation, he was here with me of course.
Billie made a guttural moan.
“Look" I said, just think things over.”
“That’s what I’ve been doing for the past seven months!” He glared back.
“Okay” I spat, “the question you should be asking yourself then is where we are going?”
Billie smiled at me, “I…I don’t know” his hair flopped, “I’m so confused, I want you but I…I can’t leave…”
I inhaled deeply, I felt like I was waiting to be shot in the chest by a firing squad. Any minute now, he could kill me. I couldn’t speak; I just sat and waited for him to say something, anything just please say something…no. Nothing, as usual he leaves me in total mental agony.
“I’ll leave you to it then” I snapped getting up and leaving the room, flopping on my couch and huffing into the nearest cushion.

Gerard’s POV

“Oi! daydream believer, you want a burrito or not?” I looked up to see Frank grinning at me, clutching the menu to the café we were sitting in. I shook my head, glancing at Mike who was already ordering his food.
Frank said something, but it didn’t register. I couldn’t help but think about her. I had been all day, her face, her laugh, that poem she wrote. The paper hadn't left my pocket since she had given it to me.
No one had heard from Billie yet, I didn’t know whether that was good news or bad. I shifted on my seat, wondering whether she’ll ring and I’ll swoop down there, knight in shining armour and all that.
“Coke”
I glanced down at the tall glass placed in front of me. Damn I needed a cigarette. Frank's hair was looking good today, I noticed the waitress checking him out before, he was such a fucking tease.
Suddenly my phone vibrated, Mike and Frank looked at me curiously. I pulled it from my pocket to see an unknown number flash before my eyes. My heart leapt in my chest and I dashed from my seat and out of the door from the restaurant, ignoring the shouts of ‘Gerard’ behind me. Swallowing and taking a breath I answered the phone.
“Hello?”
“Gerard?” It was her. I scanned around on the street outside before leaning back against teh brick wall.
“Hey, Vera”
“Hey, er, you’re not busy are you?”
“No” I answered quickly, maybe too quickly, play it cool now Gerard.
“Great, err…” the phone went silent and heavy breathing was all I could hear. Something had happened, but what? A million thoughts thundered through my mind. Was she okay, was she either overjoyed or crumbling in her own tears?
Okay I liked her, but she was in love with Billie, but Billie is married. This could be a Neighbour’s storyline. All this drama isn't good for anyone. Muffled words and gasps echoed down the line,
“Vera are you alright?” I wished I was there with her, more than anything.
“Gerard…I…I need you’re help…”
The sudden urge to take care of her swept through me, "What is it V?"
"Gerard, Billie...Billie made his mind up..."