About a Girl

I shoved Will off of me and he landed on the ground, “How could you, honestly? I should have known, Will… I just should’ve known…”

I ran off back towards the pavillion. We had gone farther than I had thought and it took much too long and my thoughts were starting to get to me.

Why did he do that?

Did I kiss him back, I did, didn’t I?

Oh hell, I can’t last four months on tour like this – I’ve got to go home.

I have no home to go back to.

On that thought, I stopped dead just behind the backstage entrance and I could feel the weight of every single thing that had happened weighing heavy, very heavy, on my mind and body and it just sickened me. My breathe quickened and I felt like I was going to get sick.

Which I did, twice, just to the side of the door; it made me feel just a little bit better but not completely so I went on inside to see if I could find Alex.

“Hey Addie!” The Butcher greeted me; I tried to smile in his way but I’m pretty sure it came out in a grimace. I walked on and found my way to the stage to see that it was now empty. I was completely confused. There was no way that I had been gone for nearly an hour and missed All Time Low’s set.

I walked across the stage in between random bits of equipment and made my way to the other side to either find Alex there or go out the other EXIT door and search for the bus.

I was lucky though, just inside of the curtains, there Alex was lying down on a couch – completely sweaty with his hair sticking up. He saw me almost immediately when I came closer, “Addie, where have you been? We’ve been off for about ten minutes now.”

“I just had a run-in with an old… somebody,” I sighed and sat down on the couch near his head. He looked up at me; a frown was playing itself on his lips.

“Oh really, is that why TAI is having a piss about not being able to find Bilvy?” He said this with an air of accusation. I was half offend and half ashamed because something had happened.

“Alex, please, I don’t want to talk about it…,” I stood up and headed for the EXIT door.

I heard him scramble up behind me and touch my side, “I didn’t mean anything by it, really. I was just saying that they couldn’t find him, it was the truth – and if you bother to ask anyone, I was throwing a fit about not knowing where you were,” With that, the hand left my side. I wanted Alex to help me out, didn’t I? I want him to save me a little – don’t I?

“Alex? Do you still want to go out to dinner? I mean you don’t have to ask anyone’s permission and I really want too...,” I trailed off. I didn’t know where I was trying to take this – but I was just hoping he would say yes.

“Of course I still want to go, Addie; You couldn’t get rid of me that easy, just let me go change out of these smelly clothes and we can head out, alright?” He started walking for the door – without me. I quickly walked over to him and grabbed his hand, and the warmth of it flowed easily into me.

Alex smiled up at me and squeezed me hand and the weight melted away; for awhile, at least.