Frankly, I Don't Love You.

I walked into English class the day after Frank had gone to pick me up from the park and all of the pain had been inflicted. I was startled when I saw Frank sitting next to the seat where I usually sat. I was careful to sit in my regular seat but did so anyway. Our daily journal prompt was already written in an elegant script on the board. The journal I used for this class reflected more of a sky-like feel. It was covered with blue gradually sparkled with whips of white, fluffy clouds. Reality slipped as I began writing about the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, which was the topic.

Flashbacks of the night Gerard had showed me the song he had written for me flooded my mind. Immediately after the scene in my head finished my heart sank as I recalled the events from the previous day again. I blinked back tears, resisting the urge to cry. I told myself to wait until another class due to my reputation as a writer. I was concentrating so much that I didn’t notice the paper that landed on my desk in front of me. I looked at Frank, who was pretending to be deep in thought. I looked over at him, he grinned nodding that the note was from him, so I turned my attention to the note.

Hey A.J. you okay?

I looked at the note not sure what to say at first, though there could be a million things. I scrawled back but couldn’t give it back since Ms. Davis, our teacher, started talking. She stood at her little podium at the front of the class while she read off the agenda for the class we would be having. Her curly hair was a wild rampage of mahogany; her attire was something straight out of the fifties, and the tone of her voice was like a little girl in a candy shop.

“First off, we have to congratulate two of our students who won the New Jersey Statewide Writing Contest. We took both first and second place. Alyson Watson took first” I grimaced once again at my first name. The second name surprised me more though. “Our second place winner is Frank Iero” she said excitedly. Frank gawked at the news, as much as I did. I hadn’t even known that he had entered the contest I had stressed about for months. I sighed as the news hit me with full impact.

“Now to all of you, your final for this semester grade will depend on your imagination with a partner.” A stir of giggles crowded the room as Ms. Davis rolled her eyes at the one track minds of her students. “What I mean, is that you have to see what nice things you can write while working with a partner, got it?” A couple of ‘oh’s’ filled the room and I laughed. “Okay, now I’ve set you up in partners, and coincidentally this only works if you’re working with someone of the opposite gender. Oh wait!” She looked down onto her paper that was lying gently on her podium and gasped. “I forgot to mention that Alyson and Frank are going to work together on a very special project”

Frank and I looked up at her in horror and groaned.

“But Ms. Davis that would be impossible!” I said exasperated

“That isn’t a good idea Ms. Davis; please can’t we be put with other partners? I really honestly do not want to work with her.” Frank put in.

“Now, now children this is a great idea. My life long friend works for a publishing company and he’s going to read over what you guys come up with and hopefully you guys will have your own little book with all of your wonderful ideas” Her tone could almost be mistaken for a squeal. She had obviously put much thought into this since had all of the kinks beaten out of her plan.

Minus Frank and me, everyone else was paired up with someone they were merely compatible with. The project for Frank and I, basically was to make 25 poems each and it didn’t matter what the subject was. For the others, it was only 25 for both of them. As a class, the poems could be under any subject matter which relieved everyone in the room. I never minded writing for school, yet this project irked me beyond belief. Now, I was peachy of course. Not.

As Ms. Davis finished her class announcements all of the other students scooted their desks or moved with their partners to begin working on the project, which was to be due on December 11 and that was four weeks from now. We also had the whole week of Thanksgiving Break to work on our masterpieces as Ms. Davis called them. I laughed at her excitement over a project that was ours to do and not hers. Reluctantly, Frank and I followed the examples of the other students by merging our desks together. We sat in silence for a couple of minutes while I reviewed in my head how we could layout the “book”. I decided to tell him that we could layout the book by appropriate emotion of the poems, although he beat me to the punch.

“A.J? How would you feel if we put the poems in order according to the way the poem feels? You know, by emotion?” Frank suggested. I laughed at the irony and his brows furrowed.

“That’s what I was thinking!” I said still holding giggles of laughter. Where had all of this good feeling come from? Why was I being civil with him instead of shrill and sarcastic?

“Oh okay then” he was obviously confused still. “We can start now or later, but I would rather work on it later if you ask me, besides I have a bunch of poems in my notebook at home we could use”

“Okay, later it is then” I agreed “I have my book with me, you can look at it if you want to and then we can decided which ones we want to turn in” I added surprising myself given that I never would let anyone read my notebook. Frank nodded gesturing towards my backpack; therefore I retrieved a small, green tattered notebook from my bag. I handed it to Frank as if I was giving up my soul.

I sat in anticipation as he flipped through pages of my most prized possession. Once in a while he would stop and stare at a page for a long time, concentrating hard on the meaning. It took him twenty minutes to look through the whole thing, which was probably just skimming because he skipped some pages.

“Wow” he murmured “Some of those poems have so much emotion, you’re really good”

“Thanks” I said shyly.

“You’re not too good with compliments are you?” he questioned

“Why do you say that?” I asked

“You get all shy and all cautious” He explained. Had my expression really been that noticeable? I thought I had gotten over that protective feeling from compliments.

“Well, I suppose so. I don’t like them very much. Flattery is just lying with nice words”

“If you insist Alyson” He teased. I shot him a glare but then laughed as soon as his expression turned to panic stricken. “Well at least you’re in a good mood and look on the bright side, we’re not killing each other for once. How long did that take? Ten years maybe? Hmmm. This, my friend, could be the start of a beautiful friendship.” He had a goofy grin.

Suddenly, that didn’t sound like such a bad idea. I nodded and smiled while uncapping my pen and letting my thoughts flow.