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You don't wanna know about my day, seriously. No, seriously.
...You won't let it go, will you? You really wanna know that badly?
Heh. Your funeral, pal.
Some guy went on a rampage and killed four, so TV news man tells me. What depressing news we have nowadays. I went outside for once. No idea where I was going. Just on an odd ramble, I guess.
Came up to this house. Decided to knock on the door.
No harm in being friendly, right? I mean, I've just sat down here to talk to you, right?
I mean, it's the way things should work in the world today. Civility and a few kind words cost nothing.
Doorbell still ringing.
Out of nowhere, thoughts enter my brain.
Take crazy rampage guy. He goes into street, stabs four, sits and reads the paper 'til the sirens come. What’s with that?
Questions, questions. What went through his mind? What was it like? Horrible? Euphoric? Must've been some kind of reason for that. Or maybe not. Such a senseless killing. Motiveless. Out of the blue.
Blue sky, as well. Lovely weather we're having, isn't it?
Door opens. Some woman appears. Late twenties, maybe? Tiny baby in her arms. Couple more scrabbling round in the background, yelling their heads off. She was smiling, nice and breezy greeting and all that jazz.
"Can I help you?"
And I just thought...just then; no reason, really...
Why the hell not?
Grab the kid.
Into the house. Kid screaming. Start screaming myself; sounds like fun. Woman's turned from the door, reaching out. Tears. Fucking begs me. Backwards, backwards. Kitchen. Perfect. Woman still screaming. Other kids rattling around upstairs. Totally oblivious. Put the kid down. Woman rushes forward, grabs phone.
How dumb can you get?
Like in all the crime shows. Unbelievable stupidity. She thinks I'm going to stand right there and watch her call the cops on me?
Makes you lose your faith in humanity, really.
One thud does it. Marble surface. Pretty solid. Crunch. No police for today!
Baby's still crying. On the marble. Down. Cupboards. Tool kit! I love the sound of a hammer.
SMASH FUCKING SMASH.
What a mess. Baby brains do not a kitchen decoration make.
Kinda reminded me of something, though. Fireworks. God, November 5th's ages away...
Floor's getting slippery now. Shame, that.
Upstairs. Kids still playing around.
See, this is what's wrong with society today. Youths are just ignorant or oblivious to current events.
Picture the scene. You've been fighting, and in that time, a man's broken into your house, knocked out your mum and played percussion with your kid sister, and you don't notice?
Bedroom. Kids fighting. Getting their attention was easier then I thought. Screams stop.
I gotta tell you, I wanted to just steal that toolkit. So many handy instruments.
Chisel. Pointy pointy beveled edge. Still silence. Not even sure they’re breathing; nothing nothing nothing and I wanna drop a fucking pin just to check. 'Course, chisel through a ribcage starts the screaming again. Punctured aorta or whatever it's called and blood like a waterfall splashes down on the other kid. They're really screaming now. High pitched horror that grates on your ears. Chisel down the other's throat. So much more effective than a harsh word and clamping hand. The other kid's still spluttering. Fucking annoying noise.
That's another problem with kids, y'see. They don't know when to respect their elders. Or when to use their indoor voices.
James Bond, the bastard. Made breaking necks look easy. Took a good five tries or so, but finally I got it down.
You learn a new thing every day…that’s what they say, isn’t it?
Three down. One more; woman downstairs.
Would you believe it, she was still breathing!
So many kitchen knives. Falling into place. Ribs, wrists, legs, stomach. Choked on blood before she could scream. Looked like a reverse hedgehog by the end. Breathing's stopped, anyway. Wonderful.
Four down, four out. Door shuts. Off to the high street. Coffee shop. Sit down, make conversation.
And d'you know what?
I know why he did it now. Crystal clear motivation.
Today was probably the best of my life.
...So how was yours?
...You won't let it go, will you? You really wanna know that badly?
Heh. Your funeral, pal.
Some guy went on a rampage and killed four, so TV news man tells me. What depressing news we have nowadays. I went outside for once. No idea where I was going. Just on an odd ramble, I guess.
Came up to this house. Decided to knock on the door.
No harm in being friendly, right? I mean, I've just sat down here to talk to you, right?
I mean, it's the way things should work in the world today. Civility and a few kind words cost nothing.
Doorbell still ringing.
Out of nowhere, thoughts enter my brain.
Take crazy rampage guy. He goes into street, stabs four, sits and reads the paper 'til the sirens come. What’s with that?
Questions, questions. What went through his mind? What was it like? Horrible? Euphoric? Must've been some kind of reason for that. Or maybe not. Such a senseless killing. Motiveless. Out of the blue.
Blue sky, as well. Lovely weather we're having, isn't it?
Door opens. Some woman appears. Late twenties, maybe? Tiny baby in her arms. Couple more scrabbling round in the background, yelling their heads off. She was smiling, nice and breezy greeting and all that jazz.
"Can I help you?"
And I just thought...just then; no reason, really...
Why the hell not?
Grab the kid.
Into the house. Kid screaming. Start screaming myself; sounds like fun. Woman's turned from the door, reaching out. Tears. Fucking begs me. Backwards, backwards. Kitchen. Perfect. Woman still screaming. Other kids rattling around upstairs. Totally oblivious. Put the kid down. Woman rushes forward, grabs phone.
How dumb can you get?
Like in all the crime shows. Unbelievable stupidity. She thinks I'm going to stand right there and watch her call the cops on me?
Makes you lose your faith in humanity, really.
One thud does it. Marble surface. Pretty solid. Crunch. No police for today!
Baby's still crying. On the marble. Down. Cupboards. Tool kit! I love the sound of a hammer.
SMASH FUCKING SMASH.
What a mess. Baby brains do not a kitchen decoration make.
Kinda reminded me of something, though. Fireworks. God, November 5th's ages away...
Floor's getting slippery now. Shame, that.
Upstairs. Kids still playing around.
See, this is what's wrong with society today. Youths are just ignorant or oblivious to current events.
Picture the scene. You've been fighting, and in that time, a man's broken into your house, knocked out your mum and played percussion with your kid sister, and you don't notice?
Bedroom. Kids fighting. Getting their attention was easier then I thought. Screams stop.
I gotta tell you, I wanted to just steal that toolkit. So many handy instruments.
Chisel. Pointy pointy beveled edge. Still silence. Not even sure they’re breathing; nothing nothing nothing and I wanna drop a fucking pin just to check. 'Course, chisel through a ribcage starts the screaming again. Punctured aorta or whatever it's called and blood like a waterfall splashes down on the other kid. They're really screaming now. High pitched horror that grates on your ears. Chisel down the other's throat. So much more effective than a harsh word and clamping hand. The other kid's still spluttering. Fucking annoying noise.
That's another problem with kids, y'see. They don't know when to respect their elders. Or when to use their indoor voices.
James Bond, the bastard. Made breaking necks look easy. Took a good five tries or so, but finally I got it down.
You learn a new thing every day…that’s what they say, isn’t it?
Three down. One more; woman downstairs.
Would you believe it, she was still breathing!
So many kitchen knives. Falling into place. Ribs, wrists, legs, stomach. Choked on blood before she could scream. Looked like a reverse hedgehog by the end. Breathing's stopped, anyway. Wonderful.
Four down, four out. Door shuts. Off to the high street. Coffee shop. Sit down, make conversation.
And d'you know what?
I know why he did it now. Crystal clear motivation.
Today was probably the best of my life.
...So how was yours?