Take It Like A Man

It was the night. The night I had been dreading for a few days now. For the past week I had been sulking around the house with Aoife trying to find ways to end my relationship with Joe in the nicest way possible. Although, I could not exactly find a nice way to tell Joe that I no longer wanted to be with him. What made it even harder was that I am in love with Joseph Adam Jonas. But I was doing what was best for Aoife and myself.

Every night for a week Joe would call and I would answer the phone and act as if everything were okay. Nothing was okay. I was going to end my relationship with the most amazing boy on the planet. Why?

I have absolutely no idea.

Tucking Aoife under the blankets she smiled up at me in happiness as I placed "Green Eggs and Ham" down in my lap. As I was about to start reading I was immediately interrupted by her delicate voice.

"What wrong Mommy?"

I lifted my hand and pushed my hair behind my ear as I stared inquisitively at my baby girl, "Nothing sweetheart."

"You 'ook sad…" she pouted her lower lip as she watched me. I closed the book and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. Just as I was about to speak Aoife interrupted me once more, "Joe's callin'!"

Reassuring myself with a deep breath I stood up from Aoife's bed and placed the book on the pink Cinderella nightstand beside her bed. Exiting the room I turned off her light, which left only a pink glow illuminate from the tiny nightlight across the room. When I entered my bedroom I could see my phone vibrating on top of the bed sheets. I took hold of it with a shaky hand.

Inhaling a deep agonizingly painful breath I held the phone up to my ear before pressing the green answer button, "Hi Joe."

"Hey Bethy babe!"

Damn his happiness. Why did breaking up with Joe have to be so complicated? Why couldn't life be easy for me just the once so I didn't have to break this poor boys heart?

"Joe… we need to talk…" Biting my lip I let myself fall on my back on my bed. I bounced a bit when my back collided with the quilt. Rolling over on my stomach I looked off to the corner of my room where a picture of Joe, Aoife, and I rested on my dresser. Joe had insisted that Aoife have a picture of the three of us to know that he loved the both of us with all his being.

That's why I needed to break things off with Joe. This love thing… it was happening too quickly.

"About what babe?" he questioned, not really acknowledging my pained voice. His obliviousness barley surprised me. Joe never was the brightest bulb. I was about to speak, but like the many times I attempt in speaking I was interrupted, "Hold on one second babe. Nick's bugging the hell out of me," I heard Joe place his hand over the mouthpiece and I groaned.

"Nick I'm on the phone with Beth. Go away."

I heard Nick sigh desperately in the background, "Joe I need to talk to you about Selena. It's important."

"Seriously, right now," Joe lazily replied not really interested in his younger brothers girlfriend problems. "Can this not wait until I'm off the phone with Beth?"

"Please Joe!"

Joe started cracking as Nick's begging tone, "Why can't you talk to Kevin?"

"He's out with Danielle… she flew in from Jersey… do you not remember her coming in here screaming 'Joe I missed you so much! It's so nice to see you' and then leaving with Kevin to some fancy party?" I could envision Nick's arms crossed across his chest in annoyance at attempting to gain his brothers attention. "Come on. It won't take that long. I promise."

Joe exhaled deeply before I heard him shuffle on the other end of the phone, "Can I call you back in a few minutes babe? Nick's having girl problems."

You will be too when I get off the phone with you.

"Yeah, call me back when you can," closing my eyes tightly I dreaded the words that I knew were going to escape Joe's precious lips.

"I love you Bethany. Tell Aoife I said I love her too, but I am pretty sure she's already sleeping."

My voice came out in a hoarse whisper, "I love you too Joe."

A pause came from the other end of the phone line, "Are you okay baby? I can ask Nick to hold on."

"No it's fine. I'm fine. Call me back?"

And then I hung up the phone. Throwing the device on the bed next to me I started to tear up. I needed to break up with Joe. I had to. Something was telling me that it was the right thing to do. And I needed to do it tonight.

Brushing a tear away from my eye that was begging to fall I pushed myself off my bed and walked over to the picture I had been gazing at earlier. Joe was wearing a simple black tee, which was surprising, while Aoife dressed herself in a pink princess outfit Joe had bought for her the day before and I was dressed in a simple white tee shirt. The three of us had large cheesy smiles on our faces. We looked absolutely happy. Perfect.

I do not know how long I stared at the picture, but it must have been a few minutes for I was brought out of my daydreaming by the sound of my phones buzzing. Going back to my covers I grabbed the device and answered immediately with a stiff determined, "Hello Joe."

Shutting off the lamp beside my bed I tucked myself deep under the comfort of my covers. I could already feel the tears beginning to leak down my cheeks in disdain. This is how it should be. It was supposed to be like this.

I could hear the sound of wind coming from the phone, "Sorry babe. I had to come outside. As soon as I was done talking to Nick my mom started bugging me about sweet potatoes. The only way to get away from everyone was to come outside. Can you hear me good?"

"Yeah. Fine," I nodded numbly even if he could not see me do this action. "I need to… Joe… I don't know how to say this."

"Shit," I heard him moan into the phone. "Please Bethany. Tell me you aren't going to do what I think you are. Please."

"Joe," my mouth opened but no sound released itself from my throat as I felt the tears come faster and harder. Why was I doing this? Why couldn't I stop myself? "I need to break up Joe."

"Please baby please… please don't do this to me. I need you so much. You're my everything…" I could hear his tears. "What did I do? I'll fix it. I'll fix it. I'll fix it. Please… I'll do whatever it takes to be with you. I'll quit the band to come live with you. I'll do anything."

I sobbed into the phone, "Joe it's over. You didn't do anything. You did nothing wrong. I just can't be with you anymore."

"Why?"

"Because I need to."

He cried into the phone, "Please. I'm begging you baby don't."

"Bye Joe."

And I hung up the phone once more. I ended the most amazing thing that happened to me since I had Aoife.

Curling up in the covers of my bed I wondered what on earth possessed me to want to end my relationship with Joe. But all I could come up with were excuses and an odd feeling somewhere deep down that no matter what happened I had to break up with Joe, whether I wanted to or not.