Only Yours

I am laying on the crisp hotel bed sheets and my heart is pounding. All I can hear in my ears is the sound of my heartbeat and the sound of that man calling me. I checked for the one hundred and first time that the windows and doors were locked. I slipped off the bed, I felt so exposed on this small bed that I started to scream. I twisted around and trashed till the bed was stripped bare. I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in. I started hyperventilating and I felt like the walls were closing in on me. I started banging on the walls, telling them to stop moving. I heard someone knocking on the front door and I burst into tears. I started telling them to go away and not to kill me. I couldn't hear their words because his laughing is filling my head. I look at my bed and I see my dead father laying there. I am crying, rocking in a corner and my hand is placed over my own mouth. I couldn't stop the rocking, I tried to still myself and pull myself together because I heard the front door open.

"Mama, are you okay?"

I couldn't see who said it hidden behind the bathroom door. "I am fine, just a bad dream." My voice cracked.

"Well okay mama." I heard the front door close and I ran to lock it. I pushed the bed to block off the door and the vanity to block the window and sat in the middle of the room rocking back and forth and laughing. How long before I am so crazy that I can't even breath?