And She Made the Shape of My Heart With Her Hands

The drive from the south to all the way up to Ohio was brutal. It really did make me want to rip my hair out a couple different times.

I curled up against the window of the van, in my usual seat in the way back. I yawned greatly, my mouth forming a nice sized ‘Oh.’

Suddenly the tip of my foot, also known as my toes, hit something else soft, or rather someone. I pulled my foot back automatically.

I heard a hushed chuckle from across me. I looked up to see Pat curled up against the backrest of the seat, facing me. His eyes were full of exhaustion, yet he was still smiling sleepily back at me.

“What?” I whispered, smiling at little myself.

Pat slowly blinked, the smile still planted on his lovely face. “Nothing,” he whispered back. “You’re just so skittish sometimes. It’s… Well it’s kind of cute, actually.”

If I weren’t so tired, I would have blushed scarlet without a doubt. Instead of embarrassing myself, I only grinned a bit. “I guess I’m really, really tired.”

He chuckled a little. “So am I.”

“Hey. We should totally go to sleep right now,” I spoke quietly.

Pat cracked a smile again. “Good idea.” I nodded my head to him a little. “Good night, Cara.”

“Night, Pat,” I whispered as my eyelids drooped shut slowly.

I slightly heard Pat shuffle and scoot around a little. I felt a presence close to my foot again. I could tell it was Pat’s foot. In fact, I knew it was his foot, because it wiggled closer and closer to mine until our feet were well touching. This time I didn’t move.

***

“Hey. Cara! Wake up!”

I groaned a little bit. “We’re getting breakfast. Come on,” Kennedy whispered to me.

I cracked my eyes opened a little, peering at Kennedy with tired eyes. “Where?”

“Denny’s,” he answered flatly.

I sat up, running a hand through my hair. “Okay. I’m coming.”

“You better, little missy.”

“Shh.” I stretched a bit before Kennedy finally got impatient and practically pulled me the rest of the way into the pancake-smelling breakfast place.

It was a hell of a lot better than freaking Wendy’s.

***

We’ve been at the place where Metro Station, Boys Like Girls, Good Charlotte, and The Maine were to play. I was already showered, dressed, and my hair and makeup was done like normal.

Since everyone had agreed that it’d be a ‘totally awesome’ idea, I was forced to wear one of the shirts Trevor was selling for The Maine. I matched it with a simple shade of skinny jeans and gray converses. Oh, yeah, did I mention that I had to switch shirts every ten minutes? Yeah, I got the shirts free, but what was the catch? Oh. I simply had to walk around the crowds and such, acting as a live mannequin. How fun.

“Hey, your shirt’s super cute! Where’d you get it?”

I cocked my body to the side and pointed. “Straight through there, sweetie. There will be a merch tent.”

“Oh, thanks!”

I smiled to her and kept walking. That’s when my Sidekick started buzzing around in my pocket.

‘Yo. It’s time for the last shirt.’

I sighed as I started walking through the massive crowd back to Trevor and the tent.

“I’ve been summoned?” I held up my phone to Trevor, my left eyebrow slightly raised in question.

He smiled a little. “Yeah. Here.” He threw me a white shirt.

After catching it, I went behind a bunch of boxes and quickly switched the two shirts. I looked down at it. “What the hell is this, Trevor?”

Trevor flashed a smile. “Well, that’d be John’s head, and under it, it reads ‘I partied way too hard with John Ohhh.’”

I frowned. “Ugh. I should be getting paid for this, damn it,” I muttered as I stalked off towards the crowd. I could hear the last band finishing up on their second to last song.

Thank God my little modeling career was to be over within a few short minutes.

For some reason, my feet took me back towards the van. I guess that everyone was done paying attention to me. Oh well. My five minutes of fame was finished.

I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning against the van. I just enjoyed the silence until I heard some footsteps. I didn’t think anything of it until they came closer and closer to around where I was.

“Nice shirt.”

I didn’t bother opening my eyes. I already knew it was John standing there, studying my attire and myself as he most likely smirked.

“Thanks. I was forced into it, so don’t flatter yourself,” I burst his bubble. I slightly smirked triumphantly myself, still keeping my eyes closed.

I heard him scuffle closer. “Sure, sure.”

The silence filled around us. I was perfectly content but I knew that John wanted to say something, or do something, or have me say something. Anything besides this, basically.

“Why are you here?”

“Why? What do you mean?”

“Well first of all, I don’t see how you got the permission from the security guys. Second of all, I don’t understand how in the world you got past all those screaming girls that want to straight up molest you in a nearby closet. And lastly, I’m wondering why you even came out here in the first place.”

I could tell he was pondering all this for a moment in thought. That’s when he spoke, “I snuck past all of them. And to answer your last question, well why can’t I be out here with you? There’s nothing wrong with that.” He stopped for a second and then whispered, “Right, Cara?”

My eyelids snapped open as his breath fell across my face in gentle waves. I swallowed in nervousness. “Why are you so close?” I asked in a whisper. I could feel my heart beating harder.

“Why not?” He pondered in a dare. John’s hands found their selves on my waist lightly.

I squirmed a little, confused on what to do next.

That’s when John started leaning in. For some reason, I moved myself closer by a few centimeters, a few centimeters that I will never forget.

John’s lips pressed to mine as his hands completely encircled my waist. My back was almost fully against the sliding van door now.

His cool tongue traced my lips over and over again. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I parted my lips a little. Just as John’s tongue slowly entered my mouth, I heard feet against the street and then silence that was just too quiet.

It was Mr. Patrick Kirch.

I pulled away immediately. My mouth was apart at a loss for words and I felt like I was going to cry and throw up at the same time. I felt absolutely sick and completely awful in general. Not just physically, but emotionally, and even mentally, too.

“P-Pat…”

I could see his chest slightly heaving up and down as if he were taking really deep breaths over and over again. His expression was unreadable and blank, but his aching eyes told a whole different story.

I took a couple steps forward towards him, John still very close to where I was. Pat was a few yards away from myself.

“Cara… I-I said that… if you didn’t like me…” He took a deep breath and quickly furrowed his brow, as it was obvious that the mental image that was burned in his mind was being played over and over again. “But… you kissed me,” his voice squeaked a tad.

“Pat, I-I-”

He shook his head back and forth slowly, still not completely comprehending what had just happened and what he had just witnessed. He ran a hand through his hair a couple times, his eyes still in a shocking daze.

“No, Cara, I… have to go.” And with that, Pat Kirch, one of two boys I was practically in love with, walked away from me.

I was frozen until a hand was placed on my shoulder. I harshly pulled away from it. “Why did you do that? Why!”

“I didn’t know, Cara,” John spoke blankly. I truly couldn’t understand his emotion or tone. Maybe it was astonished and shocked like mine?

For some reason, in the back of my mind, I didn’t quite believe that.

“There you guys are! Man, we’ve been looking all over for you idiots!”

“Yeah,” my brother agreed. “Now let’s go.” He pushed me into the van, back to my normal seat, a few feet aside from the boy I had just betrayed and hurt greatly.

I take that back from before. That wasn’t at all a long ride, but this ride would be the longest ever yet.