And She Made the Shape of My Heart With Her Hands

It’s been an hour since my little confession with Kennedy.

Since then, I’ve been feeling sick, ashamed, shaky, horrible, broken down, confused, etc.

Why?

I’ll tell you why. I’ll tell you everything right now from a crazily love-confused teenage girl’s perspective.

Okay, so… I’m dating Patrick Kirch, drummer for my brother’s band and one of my brother’s best friends.

I think he’s wonderful. I really do.

He’s so happy and upbeat. His smile, which he seems to be wearing at almost all times, makes my heartbeat pick up in pace, and my knees stiff. And his eyes are so… amazingly spectacular. I really could just freeze a picture of Pat and stare at his beautiful deep chocolate eyes all day. I’d also just love to spend a few hours running my hands through his dark brown hair. It was long and messy, much like a puppy or a dog. And you know what? Pat much resembled a dog/puppy.

And I love puppies.

A perfect life here, right?

Wrong.

You see, there’s this other marvelous boy. He not only has a voice of an angel’s, but a face like one, too. His hair was neatly messy or an organized mess, (if that made sense), and his eyes were light and seemed to change in color, all of them wonderful, nonetheless. His name was John O’Callaghan and he was also in the same band as my brother and boyfriend.

John was very… interesting. You can never guess what exactly is on his mind and just what he is thinking about. I think John is very intelligent. I really do. I think he’s pretty passionate about what he does, as well. And he’s very self-confident. In fact, too self-confident at times. Yes, he can get rather cocky and arrogant. If I were to compare John to something, I think it’d be a cat. Yes, a grown cat; lovely and brilliant, yet sometimes spiteful and a tad haughty.

But, however, I still love cats.

Do you see what my predicament here is yet?

It’s as if you were walking down a busy street, lonely and wanting a companion. This is when you pass a little known pet shop filled with all sorts of animals. You walk on in, not expecting much but a few cute critters here and there.

But then, right in front of you and begging with big dark eyes, is this adorable puppy. His fur is fuzzy and dark brown, much like his shining eyes. His little cries and pleas are just too much for you to resist, therefore you just have to bend down and pet him to death.

And you’re both loving every second of it.

But over there, across the room in a distance, is a caramel colored cat, watching the two of you with envy swimming around his pretty eyes. He wants you to be petting and loving all over him and not that dog. He wants you to pick him up and take him home without ever looking back.

But could you ever do that that easily?

Hell no.

Suddenly realizing how the poor kitty feels, you put down the lovable puppy and jolt over to the cat in reassurance. He’s pleased with your actions. He purrs and rubs his soft head against your neck and jaw. You think it’s charming. He knows it’s charming. Yes, this little cat is pretty smart.

Again with reluctance, you put the loving animal back down, and then walk towards the middle of the store. From here, you are able to see both the adorable young dog, and the loving young cat. They both have desire and want flooding their intense stares. They both want to be yours.

But can they both?

Absolutely not.

So which animal are you going to walk out of that pet store with?

And so you now see my obvious problem here.

The dog or the cat?