And She Made the Shape of My Heart With Her Hands

“I’m hungry,” Kennedy announced.

“Yeah, we’re hungry, Cara! Feed us!”

I scoffed at Camille and muttered, “Get out of my face, ho.”

“Hey, kids,” my mom butted in. “Dinner’s just about ready. Whoever wants to stay and eat is surely welcomed to.” She smiled warmly before walking back into the kitchen again.

“Perfect timing,” Kennedy said as he and Camille got up from their seats and walked towards the smell of food. Everybody else soon followed.

“Hey,” Pat grasped my hand, stopping me in mid step. “My mom specifically told me that she wanted me to have dinner at home with the whole family. So… Yeah. I have to go.” He frowned a little with disappointment.

A smile of reassurance spread upon my face as I rubbed Pat’s hand with my thumb. “That’s okay, hun. I understand.”

Pat smiled with relief. “Okay. So, um, I guess I’ll text you later or something.”

I smiled back and nodded. “Sure!” I leaned forward and kissed Pat’s lips before saying, “Talk to you later.”

“Bye, Cara,” he replied as he started walking out the door. He then turned around and added, “I love you!”

I smiled brightly as I connected my two hands together to make a heart shape. He knew I meant it back.

“Wow. That was a lot of food,” Jared said. “And it was all really good.”

“Thank you, Jared,” my mom replied to Jared’s compliment with a smile.

“Yeah, Mom, it was good. Really,” my brother added.

“Thanks, baby.” Mom then leaned over and kissed Garrett’s cheek. She then stood up and made a move to start grabbing everybody’s plates and whatnot.

“Oh, don’t worry about that, Mom. I’ll get it,” I offered. She smiled with relief and made her way up the stairs.

“Hey,” Garrett said randomly. “You guys want to go play Halo?”

“Yes!” Jared and Kennedy screamed in unison as they all ran to the living room, Camille walking along with them. Of course, that left John and I alone in the kitchen together.

“I’ll dry, you can wash,” John stated when he saw that I had all the plates and silverware in the sink by then.

I nodded my head twice as I approached the silver faucet and turned the water on. I then got a sponge with soap, and started scrubbing and rinsing. When that plate was finished and I had made sure that there was neither a spot of food or blue dish soap, I handed it to John.

“So what are you going to do with yourself for the rest of the summer, Cara?”

I shrugged and kept with my consistent rhythm of scrubbing. “I don’t know. I’ll probably hang around with Camille until school starts up again. Nothing special.” I let the warm water run against the plate.

“Hm. I see,” John answered simply. We kept our little continuous procedure going until there was neither a plate nor eating utensil left in the sink. “Why won’t you look at me?”

I furrowed my brow and looked over at him. “What?” I had no idea what he was talking about.

He let out a very quiet, brief laugh as he hung the blue drying towel on the dishwasher’s handle. “You haven’t picked your head up to look at me the whole time it’s been just you and I in here.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” he replied, still staring at me intensely. “Why is that?”

“I don’t really know,” I answered quietly. “I-I… I think you sort of intimidate me sometimes.”

John let out a laugh. “Really?” I nodded quickly, averting my eyes away from his lovely face and his piercing eyes. John took a small step closer to me and carefully lifted my chin so that I was forced to look up at him.

John opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. I continued to watch him scramble for words. He finally gave up trying to tell me anything verbally. His eyes focused back on mine for a split second before our expressions went blank, as well as our minds. With our lips fused together, we heard nothing. With John’s lips caressing my own in a passionate kiss, I could not see anything. I only felt his hands on my lower waist, my lower back slightly bending back against the counter, and John’s tongue meeting my own. My injured hand was rested somewhere, I was guessing his chest, and my well hand was lightly on his strong jaw line.

And then a logical chiming bell went off in my head once, making me immediately stop what I was doing and take a couple steps back, literally and figuratively.

“What’s wrong with you?” I quickly licked my lips. “Why are you pulling this so suddenly on me?” I whispered so that no one who might be walking by could hear.

He finally looked up at me with a slight fierce expression that made me rock back a little on my feet. “What’s wrong with me?” He smiled a smile that held no humor whatsoever and shook his head back and forth incredulously. “And I’m not doing anything, Cara.”

My eyes widened at him. “Don’t lie,” I seethed through my teeth. “You’re all of a suddenly playing this game with me. Why, John?”

“Game?”

I blinked. He knew exactly what I was talking about. I kept boring my eyes into his. I wasn’t going to give up.

He sighed and looked away for a moment and then met my gaze again. “I’m sorry, but yeah. I do see you and Pat and I do get kind of pissed.”

I furrowed my brow, confused. “John! Why don’t you understand that I’m dating him? What am I supposed to do? Push him away or something? That’s horrible! And like I’ve said so many times before, I like Pat a lot.” I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. “I think that’s your whole problem here. You think that all I want is you and that I’m stuck with Pat or something.” I shook my head no slowly. “That’s not it at all, John. Pat told me he loves me. I told him the same and I meant it,” I explained in a low, serious voice.

John stared at me, speechless. “You think I’m that stuck up my own ass?” He asked me slowly, not daring to blink.

I simply shrugged once as a response.

He sighed and tilted his head downwards. “Hell, maybe I am, maybe I’m not. I don’t know anymore. This whole thing has got me saying and doing things that I didn’t think I’d ever do before.”

“’This whole thing’?” I asked dumbly.

He looked up at me with a stone set expression. “You.” He then let a small smile crack its way through his features.

I gasped softly and looked down at my feet. There was a pause, which lasted for about thirty seconds or possibly more. “I really don’t understand what there is to fight over here. I’m not much really,” I mumbled.

“Cara,” John whispered astonished, “What are you talking about? You’re so… special. Different. You pretty much put the word ‘pretty’ out of business, too.”

I blushed a deep red and crossed my arms over my chest as I maintained eye contact with the floor.

“You’re smart and fun. You’re witty. You’re probably the first girl that’s liked me and not wanted me. It’s nice,” he explained with a small genuine smile.

“John…” I swallowed and looked back up at him. “I don’t want it to be difficult between you and I. I don’t want anything to be difficult anymore,” I admitted quietly.

John let out a silent, breathless laugh. “Well sorry to bring this down on you, sweetie, but the difficultly is always going to be there and frankly, it’s just started.”