Ever So Slightly

As we approach his door, I make a point to remember it’s number, and it’s floor, and the name of this hotel. I want to imprint it in my mind, along with this memory.

William steps out in front of me and slides a card into the reader as it registers with a dull -click-, and pushes open the door. Guiding me gently forwards with his hand on the small of my back, he follows me into the room, flicking on the lights.

As he fumbles around with the keys on a countertop, I wander over to the sofa a slump down, closing my eyes and relaxing properly for the first time in days, wondering how long this will last - wondering when I’ll have to return to my life, my responsibilities.

I feel his shallow breath on my neck even before I hear him whispering in my ear, his hair tickling my neck as he bends down over the sofa back.

‘You look fucking hot in my jeans,’ he whispers huskily, and all at once I can feel my heartbeat racing, and my shoulders and cheeks growing hot.

…And I don’t have a clue what to say.

I always get like this - I’ll wait desperately for the moment a guy says the most perfect thing, and then clam up. Case and point, Ant Rowe. He was my…second boyfriend, I think, and we were talking on the phone when he says, ‘If I could put the world in a box and give it to you, I would,’ - and how unbelievable cute it that? But I froze, panicking and thinking, ‘what the fuck do I say to that?’

And do you know what I said?

‘But wouldn’t I be in the box?’ Queue the awkward silence.

True story.

‘I uh…couldn’t find anything else to wear,’ I stammer. ‘And I went to find…some fresh air - and I couldn’t go out like-’

I can hear him chuckling softly. ‘Chill,’ he soothes. ‘Are you tired?’

‘…No,’ I say, yawning widely and betraying my answer.

‘Yeah, right.’ I can hear his smile in his voice. ‘Come on.’

He walks to the front of the sofa and pulls me up. I groan, and drifting towards the door with William’s arm around my waist, I make it to the bed, landing on it with a soft -thump- and the quiet squeak of bed springs

‘You want a t-shirt to sleep in?’ he asks. I nod wearily as he tosses me a pink tee with a white and yellow design on the front.

I peel off his clothes without even turning around, and throw on the t-shirt as he stumbles from the room, calling, ‘If you need me, I’ll be in here.’

I squint. ‘Why?’ I murmur.

‘Um, sleeping,’ he grins. ‘Duh.’

‘In there?’

‘…No no, on the roof - of course in here.’

‘Why?’

He pokes his head round the door to look at me oddly. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Nothing,’ I say, then add shyly, 'You can sleep in the bed - I’m not a leper or anything.’

‘You sure?’ he asks.

‘What, that I’m not a leper? Hurry up Will - I’m collld.’

‘Um…ok.’

I pull the covers over me and roll onto my left, closing my eyes.

Not long after, I feel a rush of cold to my side as William climbs into bed and replaces the covers - to little avail. I’m still shivering.

I put out a arm to feel where he is, and come into contact with his hair. I let my hand fall down to his neck and relax, as he slowly reaches out his, and pulls me into him.

I can smell that smell again and I smile against his chest, numbly realising that it’s bare, and that he’s wearing nothing but boxers.

I fall asleep at around midnight, warm, and happy, my body still fizzing where his is touching.