Ever So Slightly

We get back to the hotel around 4:30pm, sun drenched and smiling, having just generally walked around a little park we found not far from the salad bar. He steps forward as we reach the entrance and pushes open the door with one arm, pulling me through with the other around my shoulders.

‘Okay,’ he begins. ‘I just need to take a shower, so if you want to change or get something to eat then y’know, go for it. Gabe’ll be waiting outside in the Delorean at about a quarter to, so yeah…’

We reach the elevator. Tapping the up button, William slyly pokes me again and I jump out of the way with a loud squeak, attracting the attention of a couple walking past. Both stop to stare as we climb into the elevator and close the doors.

‘Weirdo,’ he grins, looking ahead.

‘Hey!’ I protest. ’You know I’m ticklish!’ He chuckles to himself.

We hear a sharp ping as the elevator slides to a stop to opens it’s doors, and I walk out, Will following behind me. He skips a little to catch up with me and grabs hold of my shoulders, steering me right as I had been about to turn left.

‘I knew that,’ I say nonchalantly.

‘Uh huh,’ he says sceptically. ‘Just testing me, right?’

‘Right,’ I grin.

He stops and slides his card into the reader on the door. With a dull -click-, it opens and we step through, Will walking ahead and shedding his jacket and tie. Tossing them on the sofa, he heads through to the bedroom and I hear the shower buzz into life. Could he really not tell when I was in there?

He must have been tired as hell. Either that or he was still half asleep.

I debate on whether to get him back and burst into the bathroom - or would that be too unbelievable? After all, he had already told me he was going to take a shower. Plus I might see…something.

I shudder.

Call me ridiculous, but I have this thing against…dicks. They’re just so...there, and alien - and what are they even supposed to look like? They really freak me out, they’re just so…weird.

I suppose a psychologist would say that it’s because I don’t know how to judge them - not that I would tell a psychologist that sort of thing. My safety net is judging people, it distracts me from my own faults and makes me feel better - only, how can a dick make me feel better?

Okay okay, shut up you sick, sick people.

I guess its also sort of because my old dog had a chew toy that sorta looked like one…but that’s another story.

The short and short of it is, I have nothing to measure the next one and the next one up against - no pun intended. What are they supposed to look like? How thick are they meant to be - ugh, I feel sick and embarrassed even thinking it now. What are you even supposed to call it? If I’m not careful, I’m going to be like the 40 Year Old Virgin. Only I’m not even going to be getting any sex at the end of the day.

I’m just going to have to bite the bullet [ooh-err] in the end - and I’m not exactly looking forward to it. Anyway, I digress.

‘Hannah?’

It’s only when I hear William‘s voice, that I realise I’ve been standing here thinking about penis and staring into space for a good ten minutes. I snap my head up.

‘Will…’

‘…Have you been standing there all this time?’ He sounds amused.

‘Uh, no…I walked around for a bit…then sat down, but my legs uh…started to itch - so I stood back up again.’

‘Ah, I see,’ he says, in the tone of someone who doesn’t really see at all.

He’s fully dressed I notice, in the same greying skinnies I had worn when I locked myself out, a pink t-shirt, a leather bomber jacket and one of those gangster type hats. Don’t ask me what they’re called - I live in the countryside, I don’t know about these things.

He’d also flung on slim black tie haphazardly, and as he pushed me through the room and out of the door by the small of my back, he slipped his feet into some black leather loafers.

‘Do I look ok?’ he asks casually, retrieving his tie from over his shoulder.

Do I tell him he looks so fucking hot I want to push him up against the wall? Or should I keep it cool and not act like a retard? Hmmm, difficult decision.

‘Yeah - I love that hat by the way, where’d you get it?’

He grins and lifts it off his head, dropping it onto mine. ‘Some vintage place in Illinois,’ he shrugs.

I grin stupidly back at him.

His hat is on my head…his hat is-

Oh shut up, I scold myself. Groupie.

As we’re leaving the hotel, William clears his throat.

‘Uh, Gabe’s car only has two seats, so you don’t mind sitting on me, do you?’

If I was on my own I’d be doing my excited little victory dance right now. My arm even spazzes out to the side in anticipation, but I refrain.

I shake myself. ‘No, that’s fine,’ I manage to smile.