Ever So Slightly

I break into a full run as I head down the corridor, punching the elevator button and throwing myself inside as it’s doors open. Sliding down the shiny metal of it’s walls, I break down, not bothering in the slightest to try and hold back the tears. After a good while, I find that I can’t cry any more - and I wonder to myself, why I was even crying in the first place?

I’ve known what people thought of me all this time, so someone saying to my face doesn’t really change anything.

I decide that I must be coming onto my period. I mean, not as I sit here, but generally. I always get like this when I’m due on.

I stay seated and shaking for a few more minutes as I collect my thoughts. What do I say to William as to why I ran off?

Period. I came on my period. That should do it, guys never question that - this I definitely have learned from experience. I begin to hiccup.

I hear a sharp ping, and look up to see the elevator doors sliding back to reveal Will.

‘Thank fuck - oh my god,’ he mutters, closing his eyes, then yelling behind him, ‘S’okay Gabe, found her.’ He steps into the elevator and pushes the ‘close door’ button, before slouching down beside me and wrapping me in a tight hug.

‘Argh,’ he says. ‘I thought I’d gone and lost you again. What happened? I asked Bianca where you’d gone but she wouldn’t even meet my eyes - have you been crying?’

I shake my head and lean it on his shoulder, just relaxing in his embrace as his soft breaths rustle my hair. Occasionally I’d hiccup, but other than that, we don’t say a word, just sitting in silence on the elevator floor for I don’t know how long.

He doesn’t push the matter of my taking off, and I’m grateful.

After a while, Will pulls me up - still not talking, but not putting the fact we’re going up for negotiation. I groan slightly as we stand, but he pulls me to face him and looks at me in the eye.

‘I don’t know what happened, and you don’t have to tell me, but you can’t stay here and be miserable. You’re making me sad.’ He attempts an unhappy face, forcing the corners of his mouth as far down as they will go and I giggle weakly. ‘Come on,’ he says, tugging on my arm gently as he opens the elevator doors and I follow him, back down the corridor, and back into his room.

As we enter, he leads me over to the sofa, sitting down and pulling me into his lap.

‘This party tonight…you don’t have to go if you don’t want to.’

I process the thought. Do I want to?

‘Will Bianca be there?’ I ask.

‘…I don’t know.’

But what if she was? Whether I want to go or not, she shouldn’t affect my decision. I doubt she’d have the nerve to confront me again anyway.

‘I’ll come,’ I say. ‘Should be fun, huh? Who’s going to be there?’

‘Pete, that’s the manager of the label we’re signed with, Cobra, the Academy crew, a few London party guys. We won’t know that many people, but whatever, you know?’

I nod. ‘Cool. What do I wear?’

‘Uh…I dunno. It’s sort of classy-casual, so, I guess the kinda thing you’ve been wearing all week.’

I nod again.

‘Hannah?’ Will asks.

‘Yeah?’

‘You do want to be here, don’t you? You can tell me if you’d rather go home.’

I smile and press a reassuring kiss to his lips. ‘I don’t want to go home, Will.’

‘But you do want to stay?’

‘There’s no place else I’d rather be’