Ever So Slightly

I see Bianca appear from behind him and her look turns to one of pure venom as she sees me and my company.

‘His names-’ I stumble a little as I try to take a step back, ‘Jock - and Will died, a dog. I mean, my dog died and Will’s pregnant. Leave me alone Gade - Gabe. I’m going home…I’m going home.’

‘What the fuck are you on about Hannah?’ he spits.

‘I’m going home. I’m not here - I’m going to a party with-’ I turn to located Jack, ‘-Jock, and then I’m going home.’

Gabe splutters, but I cut in again.

‘You shouldn’t have brought me here - Bummingham, you shouldn’t have kidnapped me, but I’m going home. People like me at home…people like me. People aren’t pregnant - well except for my aunt, but I’m not in love with my aunt. I’m not a nuisance there - people don’t hate me for no reason-’ I turn to spit at Bianca.

‘What the fuck are you on Hannah?’ Gabe sounds really angry now. ‘You’re coming back with us.’

‘No I’m fucking not!’ I scream, fully aware that people are watching. ‘I’m going to- Jock, where am I going?’

‘14 Queen’s Street?’ he hazards, not sure what answer I’m looking for.

‘14 Queen’s Street! And I’m not coming back. You were ok, Gade, but I’m not coming back. I’ll go home.’ I thrust a finger at Jack. ‘Jack will take me home because he’s not an incapable whore.’

My eyes are welling up again. ‘Goodbye,’ I spit as I turn to walk away. Behind me I hear Bianca mutter a tight ‘Leave it,’ to Gabe, but I ignore it and catch up with Jack.

‘Sorry - I, they’re kidnapped me so I had to explain.’

‘No problem,’ he shrugs. ‘But my name’s Jack, not Jock.’

‘I know Jock, I know - are we nearly there yet?’

We’ve reached a long and worn looking housing estate, with square buildings all the way down, windows boarded up and roof tiles missing. He takes me by the waist again and steers me down someone’s front path, muttering a little, ‘Yep, we’re here.’

He knocks on the door, and it’s answered by someone who looks stoned as hell, holding a huge roll up. I swear, it’s about 5 inches long and more of a conical shape than a cylinder.

‘Mac, heyy,’ grins Jack, holding up his hand in greeting. Mac high-fives it - or at least tries to, but ends up dropping ash down his dirty white t-shirt.

‘Shit maaan,’ he groans. ‘It’s all fucking fucked on my cag, OI FUCKER!’ he yells to someone behind him. ‘LEAVE THAT THE FUCK ALONE OR I’LL SAW YOU FUCKING HAND OFF - come on in mate,’ he says turning back to Jack. ‘Want a beer? Or summa the harder stuff?’

‘A couple of vodkas mate?’ Jack suggests. ‘Um, one on high rise, if you get me.’

Mac flicks a look to me and smirks. ‘Right mate, coming up. Have a fucking fuck up in the lounge, everyone’s in there.’

I can’t understand a word that this Mac guy’s saying, but I follow Jack through to the lounge anyhow, to see everyone bumping and grinding to some shitty hardcore music. There’s even two people fucking on the couch - or is that three?

‘Come on babe,’ grunts Jack, pulling me over to where everyone is dancing. My heart clenches at the pet name but I ignore it. Why does everything seem to be reminding me of Will?

Jack drags me to the center of the crowd, grabbing my ass roughly and grinding it into his crotch over and over. As stupidly inappropriate as it is, I start to cry, memories of Will and I dancing flooding back. I remember it as so much better than this - but maybe that’s just the rose tinted glasses. Will was a dick, and he’s history.

Jack doesn’t even notice my present state, or if he does, he ignores it, but Mac comes bounding over, yelling a gruff ‘What the fuck’s up with her mate? Fucking miserable bitch - here, have a fuck of this - it’s solid.’

Jack accepts the huge spliff and takes a long drag, before holding the end in front of my face. I do the same and cough roughly. They both laugh - at least it seems to have incinerated the tears. Mac wanders off howling, and Jack tugs me again, dragging me someplace else - I can’t really see.

He pushes me against a wall and forces his tongue into my mouth, pushing it around and groaning. I take the opportunity to concentrate on my view, the room sliding into focus just enough for me to realise I’m standing in the hallway. Mac saunters past as I hear the door go again.

Suddenly, I register pressure to my crotch, and I squeeze my legs together. I can feel a hand - Jack’s rubbing at me. My brain goes into overdrive and I shake my hips to get him off, pushing him away and bringing my knee up to his balls with as much force as I can muster. He catches me before I can do any real damage, and slams me against the wall. Muttering ‘tease,’ under his breath, he his fixes his mouth on mine again, before bringing it sloppily down my chest, leaving a trail of saliva in his wake.

‘Get the fuck off me!’ I yell.

From somewhere to the right of me I can hear my name, and then Jack is on the floor, growling under his breath at his attacker.

Someone has me by the hand and is dragging me out of the house, but my vision is so clouded that I can only see as far as the arm - I don’t even notice the cold as we emerge out into what I’d guess it the street.

I’m dragged forwards a few paces and the shoved down into a car, my legs following me forcefully as I don’t even think to move them.

I’m so disoriented, but as the car doors close, I instantly know where I am.

And I just want to get as far away as possible.