Ever So Slightly

I sit up slowly and survey my surroundings. Claire and Mike appear to have gone inside, and the only people left out here are Ash and I.

And I do not want to be waking up here tomorrow morning covered in dew or whatever. Wow, it’s pretty cold.

I look down to see my skirt up around my hips, pulling it down hastily.

It’s a good job I’m wearing nice underwear. Black girl boxers with white horizontal pinstripes to be precise - in this thin, jersey like fabric. They’re my second favourites - but my favourite pair are in the wash at the moment. In any case - they’re half see-through.

But enough about my pants.

I squint as the garden lurches from side to side before my eyes. Fuck.

If I stay out here any longer I am going to fall asleep, and that’s not a very good idea as I can pretty clearly see Ash smashing plant pots with an axe.

Where did he find an axe?

I get unsteadily to my feet as Ellie walks past me.

‘Hey Hannah, you alright?’

‘Yeah, I think I’m going to go up and crash on Marks bed.’

‘Good idea,’ she nods. ‘You look pretty…tired. You need any help?’

‘No no, I’m fine,’ I hear myself say, even though my legs feel like jelly. ‘I’ll see you later.’

‘Cool, I’ll keep checking up on you.’

‘Thanks Ellie,’ I smile, picking my way to the patio area.

I feel pretty light headed now, like I’m going to be sick and faint at the same time. Where’s Mike when you need him? I lie down slowly on the pavement and rest for a few minutes.

At some point, Ellie walks past and asks if I’m okay.

‘Yeah yeah, I’m fine,’ I say. ‘I’m just resting. I’ll be in in a minute - you go.’

I imagine what she’s seeing, and giggle to myself. A girl almost passed out on the patio, skirt dangerously high, and waving help off, saying - ‘I’m just resting - I’m fine. Just resting.’

I hear the clicking of her shoes as she tip-taps away and back into the house. I sigh and heave myself up once again.

‘This is it,’ I think to myself. ‘If I leg it and ignore the everything spinning, I’ll make it.’

And so I do. Concentrating for a moment, I squint my eyes and power walk through the kitchen and lounge; ignoring everyone. Eventually, I reach the stairs, throwing myself up and into Mark’s room before I pass out.

I collapse in a heap on the bed, exhausted and close my eyes.

But I don’t sleep.

‘How do you even sleep when you’re numb?’

‘Like this,’ says a voice, and I feel a ten tonne weight hit the bed beside me and start snoring.

Shit, I didn’t even realise I’d said that out loud.

I open my eyes groggily to see the fleshy mass of someone’s arm in front of my face. Holding my head up, I can just see Gabe still pretending [badly] to sleep. The snoring stops and he opens one eye to peep at me.

‘Damn. Caught,’ he grins. ‘So, you pissed yet?’

‘Noo…’ I moan, to his quiet chuckle.

‘Suure you ain’t. You’re a light weight, you know that?’

‘Uh huh,’ I manage.

I become faintly aware that very loud music is playing. Really, really happy music - not Mark’s style at all.

‘Hey,’ I start, waking up a bit. ‘What’s this music? This song’s wicked .’ I open my eyes wide and listen intently.

I know, opening my eyes more doesn’t help, but it’s a habit. I’ll bet you do it too.

‘Thanks Bananni. I call it The Church Of Hot Addiction - it’s pretty much a cult song for the Cobra fans now.’

I don’t even hear most of what he’s said, due to a loud whistling that’s just starting up in my head.

‘My head’s screaming at me and it huurts Gabe,’ I moan.

‘Aw bless,’ he teases, ruffling my hair. ‘This really is your first time.’ He picks up a tennis ball and throws it at the CD player. The music stops abruptly.

I smile to myself.