Unendlichkeit

The doctors really rushed to get Bill out of the hospital. They didn’t want people to know he was there, especially fans and such.

So even when he was still sick and still unhealthy, they forced him out.

They had to hurry when bringing Bill to the car, afraid he would be noticed and fans would get upset.

But at least he was finally home. Tom was glad for that.

He needed desperate help eating, his mom feed him healthy things almost five times a day.

At night Tom was afraid. His brother slept most of the time when he wasn’t eating. His breaths were raspy and slow and every day Tom found himself falling asleep in class because he’d been awake all night keeping an eye on Bill.

He couldn’t tell anyone in school about Bill, though many did wonder and many asked where he was. Rumors flew around like crazy, Tom just didn’t pay heed to any of them.

Even when Bill was awake it was as though he wasn’t there. He rambled things in different languages that Tom didn’t understand. It scared him really, to see his brother like this.

He vowed he would beat the crap out of whoever had hurt Bill this badly.

Gustav and Georg were told, of course, and they visited almost every day.

After about a week or so Bill gradually got better, began to talk to his family and not mumble or stare aimlessly.

But this was not the Bill Tom knew. This Bill seemed happier, glad to be okay. Glad to be healthy.

Bill didn’t go back to school yet, but he caught up a bit with Tom and Andreas’ help.

Andreas was a good friend to both the twins now. Tom tried to get him accustomed to the German way of life, and in return he got a nice friendship out of the boy. For some reason, each and every day, it seemed people were treating him more and more like Bill had treated him.

Mom and Gordon were constantly with their son, Simone almost found it impossible to leave Bill’s bedside.

But a few weeks after Bill was out of the hospital, it was their anniversary. Tom urged his parents to leave the house his mom especially needed to get out and forget about her sick son for the night.

Tom agreed to watch Bill, not leave the room, help him to the bathroom, feed him dinner, etc, etc.

His brother was asleep when his parents left to go to a fancy restaurant in town.

Tom stayed in his and Bill’s room and watched TV for awhile, wondering when his brother was going to wake up.

Nothing on the TV was worth watching, he turned it off and just concentrated on Bill. He was still so deathly skinny, that was for sure, but there weren’t those dark rings under his eyes and that sunken-in look in his face.

While his brother was still asleep he went downstairs and heated up some things his mother had left for them to eat. He wished he wasn’t so terrible at cooking or he would have made something nice for his brother, a big meal that would put a little meat on him.

When he went back upstairs with the food his brother was sitting up in bed, his eyes aimlessly glued to the TV screen.

He turned to look at his brother with the tray of food and smiled. “Hallo, Tom.”

“Hey Bill, you hungry?” Tom brought the food over to the side table and sat next to Bill on his bed.

“A little.”

“Please eat, okay? Mom wants you too.”

Bill sighed and nodded. “Okay. I will.”

Tom handed him the tray. It was the kinda thing you could use as like breakfast in bed, kind of resembled the things they had in the hospital. And it was easy for Bill.

“You need any help?” Tom asked.

Bill smiled. “You don’t have to feed me if that’s what you’re saying.”

“Oh, okay,” Tom got off the bed and went over to his, picking at his food aimlessly as he watched what Bill was watching.

Bill ate fast, Tom hadn’t seen Bill really eat in ages. Tom pulled the tray away and took all the plates and things downstairs, dumping it in the sink so his mom could clean it later. Hey, he wasn’t that nice of a son.

When he got back upstairs, his brother was struggling to get out of bed.

“I don’t need any help,” Bill said, stumbling as he lifted himself off the bed.

Tom followed him to the bathroom, afraid Bill’s shaky sticks that passed off as legs would cause him to collapse.

But he was okay. Bill wanted to be independent again, he didn’t like being treated like a child.

Tom still waited outside the bathroom and just thought for a moment or two.

Was Bill going to go back to the way he was-the purging, the cutting, the depression? He would held him so desperately, if only there was a way he could. He had to think of a way to make his brother’s life better.

Maybe school would be kind to him now, maybe Bill would have a new confidence and he’d stick up for himself.

Oh well.

Bill stumbled out the door and Tom got up, afraid he was going to fall. But he didn’t-not yet.

He took about three steps and then stumbled again. He almost fell, but Tom caught him in an instant before he could hit the floor.

Bill’s stomach instantly knotted up, feeling Tom’s arms around him-protecting him. His twin carried him back to their room without another word, placing him gently against his bed.

Tom sat beside his twin, gently grabbing his hand. There was this feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was something he had never felt before-an indescribable feeling. But that feeling was gone in a matter of seconds.

“When are mom and Gordon coming home?” Bill asked, feeling uncomfortable.

“A few hours, maybe.”

Bill nodded, a frown on his lips.

“Are you okay?” Tom asked.

He nodded again, looking away from those eyes so identical.

“Can I ask you something?” Tom inquired quietly.

“Of course, Tom.”

“You’re not…you’re not going to purge again, are you? When you get your strength back?”

Bill had thought about it. It had been a month or two since he had lost done it anyone. “Probably not.”

“Don’t…it-it hurts me.”

It hurt his brother that he purged…Bill looked away again. Then he wouldn’t do it. He didn’t want to hurt Tomi anymore.