Unendlichkeit

We Get On

December 2005

He wasn’t too interesting in his brother’s mindless ranting.

Tom turned up his iPod, trying to tune out Bill’s voice.

He didn’t even have a clue what Bill was rambling on about to himself, but he figured it had to do with Ina. Everything these days was about Ina.

But Tom was happy for his brother. Bill had never been happier. He kept his food down, he didn’t cut. There was nothing to worry about anymore.

He watched as his brother pranced around the room, figuring out what to wear for his date tonight. Bill was singing some nonsense song to himself and asking himself all kinds of silly, random questions.

Wasn’t it nice to be in love?

Tom sighed and laid stomach-down on his bed, thinking. He’d gone through every girl it seemed. And he’d been too much of a wimp to sleep with that blonde.

When it really came down to it Tom wasn’t as macho as he held himself. He was so afraid when it came down to it. So there, he’d admit it. He was afraid to use his dick.

Maybe it was because he’d lost his virginity when he was fourteen. That wasn’t healthy, nope. And it had gone horribly for him. He’d loved that girl, but she’d been so hurt and she fell in love with another guy and moved away a few months after the incident.

So Bill did really have more luck than he did…

“Tom, can I ask you something?”

Tom pulled the earphones from his ear. “Sure.”

Bill scooched closer to Tom on the bed, his face got red.

“I want to kiss her…” he said softly, keeping his head down.

“You’ve never kissed her?” Tom asked, slightly shocked.

“No, no, I have. I just…” Bill paused and looked away.

“You wanna know how to make out with her?” Tom completed.

Bill giggled and looked up at Tom, his long, dark hair falling gently around his face. A shiver went up Tom’s spine, that knotted feeling in his stomach again. Bill nodded, pushing the hair out of his face.

Tom had a sudden longing to reach out and touch that dark hair. Was it soft? What would it feel like against his skin? Those full lips, what would those feel like against his own?

He brushed those thoughts off as fast as he could, afraid of how they had come into his mind so suddenly.

“Well you just kiss her, like you normally would, and usually it just happens,” Tom explained softly, looking at his brother’s identical chocolate eyes.

“But it doesn’t…it’s always so awkward…” Bill’s eyes met Tom’s.

He shrugged, still looking at his twin affectionately. “It should…it should come naturally…”

Everything was still for a few moments when they just stared into each other’s eyes. It seemed like the whole world was still. The two leaned in, brought together by some uncontrollable force. In a slight moment their lips touched, gently pressing together. Bill knew what Tom meant, for once it felt so natural but his hands still shook with excitement and nervousness as their lips parted, allowing their tongues entrance.

Their minds no longer ruled, it was as if their hearts were guiding them. And that was how it should be.

Deep down inside they’d always felt this urge, but it had been stored in the back of their minds for so long just because both were afraid of this notion, of their own feelings. They were so alike it was like they were made for each other from the beginning.

Bill slowly wrapped his arms around Tom’s neck and they continued to kiss. Each touch of Tom’s skin against his own made Bill tingle. He was so soft, so gentle. This did feel so natural.

So what did this mean? Did he love Tom more than he loved Ina?

He felt the soft lips and the cool metal leave his mouth and lips and he reached out for another kiss, longing to taste Tomi again, but he wasn’t there.

Bill opened his eyes, his mind suddenly racing and his stomach in knots, and saw that his brother was just staring at him, a perplexed look on his face.

The doorbell rang and Bill jumped off the bed, his shaky hands quickly applying some more eyeliner. He grabbed and jacket and ran downstairs, not wanting to see what his twin’s expression held. He met Ina at the door and grabbed her hand. The two walked out into the cool night and he put his arm around her. And he felt like he was going to hurl, with that perplexed expression still on his face.

He touched a finger to his lips. He could almost feel the warm lips against his. Almost…
♠ ♠ ♠
excuse me for listening to kate nash while writing this.

mmkayyy. so yay kissykissy!!!!

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