The Memory of Your Face

"Are you ready?" He whispered, his soft nose brushing against my own, I grinned feeling his fingertips tighten around my waist.
"As I'll ever be." I grinned back.
"Come on Erin you loser!" I pulled away from Billie's arms to turn to Joe and Jake, who were stood behind the threshold of the open door,
"Come on stop it with the slushy stuff," Joe yelled and I giggled as he stuck his tongue out in disgust nudging his brother who laughed at him loudly.

Billie sighed and I turned to him feeling the remains of the soft rush of air hit my face; I released my arms down from his neck and picked up my suitcase from the ground below me. Billie reluctantly let go of his hold on me and picked up my other stuff that had previously been flung around his feet in complete excitement as I greeted him upon my arrival in the cab.

He took a large stride in front of me and walked up the path to the house. I watched him walk forwards and I inhaled deeply, looking up at the house. Billie's house, this place were we had first met, were I had loved him, cried over him, worshipped him and realized just how much I loved him. For the first time I was about to walk over the step as a permanent occupant to the Armstrong house. I watched as Billie turned around after placing my bags on the floor, he grinned widely at me from the hall as Joe and Jake framed the front door as if I walking through this house was some kind of huge event. I swallowed as I brought my foot over the door frame; there was no going back now. I laughed as Joe and Jake clapped and pounced at me gripping me in a tight hug as Billie laughed from the hallway. I was here, I was home.

It was surreal to call this place home, as I followed Billie's sons to the kitchen I noticed that nothing had changed, except, those pictures of Adrienne that were once proudly shown throughout the house had been removed.

A large cake was suddenly thrust in my face and my mouth dropped as I read the words, "Welcome home Erin" in pink icing that laced the rectangular sponge. I took the cake from Billie's hands as he kissed my gob smacked cheek cackling quietly at how shocked I was.

"I didn't expect all this guys," I finally muttered as Jake and Joey sat up at the kitchen table smiling widely at me.
"Well we wanted you back." Joe grinned at me as I felt a certain warmness wash over me from the little boys words.
"Did you make this?" I asked him as he shook his head.
"Nope, dad did."
I pulled a face, "God I'm not eating this."
"Hey" Billie grinned slapping me playfully, "I'm a bloody good cook"
"That's one particular reason why we wanted you back so bad Erin," Jake giggled as he father shot him a scowl.
"Excuse me but I am a very capable chef."
I put the cake down carefully on the table.
"Let's have some later," I grinned.
"Boys why don't you go and take Erin's suitcases upstairs huh?" Billie asked them as they rolled their eyes but did as they were told.
He turned to me as Joe shut the kitchen door after him, "I'm so glad you're here"
He approached me enveloping me in his arms.
"I'm glad I'm here too" I beamed back, folding my arms around his neck.
He placed a kiss on my cheek and pulled me closer ever so slowly.
"I missed you" he whispered placing another tender kiss on my other cheek.

"Missed you too" I bit my lip as I grinned at him. We had been officially engaged for five months now, ever since we got back from the party in Greece, we had planned for me to move out here. It was hard, leaving the club, Rodger, Dave and Adele back in London, I loved them so much, but to be with Billie I had to sacrifice something, Adele convinced me that if I let him go again she would never speak to me unless it was to swear violently in my face.

Adele and Tre however were a different story altogether. I and Billie had thought that Tre would finally settle down with her and she would with him. How wrong we were. Adele refused to move to LA and Tre couldn't move to the UK. The compromise was that they weren't officially together but whenever they met they would have wild passionate sex and ring each other when they weren't in the bedroom or the same country.

"Fancy going out tonight?" Billie asked his finger twisting a strand of my hair.
"I could ring Adi to look after the boys."
I shook my head, "No Billie, let's...I'd like to stay in, maybe invite Tre and Mike and Brittany around, I want to spend my first night here"
Billie grinned, "That sounds like fun" he let go of my hair and reached for the phone with his free hand.

I sighed in relief, I had been dreading seeing Adi. I hadn't told Billie this at all but a part of me believed that she hated me greatly for ending her marriage. She had met a guy called Steven apparently, he was an old friend of hers and Billie told me once that he "always knew that he was after his wife." Stuff like this made me cringe, I hated talking about Adrienne, I couldn't pin point why. I didn't know whether it was guilt or jealously. She had, of course given Billie two sons and had this special bond with him that would last for the rest of their lives.

Billie mad a grab for his phone and began texting furiously, biting his tongue in concentration. I sat down at the kitchen table, leaning my chin against my hand I sat watching him. Just sitting here felt so strange, it was in this very seat that I had left in a fit if fury and heartbreak, a part of me had always hoped to be back sitting here one day.

A knocking sound erupted behind me and I turned to see Phil.
I jumped up in hyper mode and flung the door open and screeched at the top of my lungs as I fell in his arms.

"Phil!"
"Hey Erin, how have you been?"
"Great, just great." I smiled pushing myself up from Billie's security guard.
"Missed you girl" he giggled ruffling my hair.
"Yeah likewise" I frowned pretending to be annoyed.
He sat down next to me at the table as Billie finally looked up from texting on his phone.
"Hey Phil...er, yeah everyone's coming."
I smiled widely as he brought his arms around my neck and kissed the top of my head.

Phil rolled his eyes and grunted slightly, "don't fuck it up this time Billie."
Billie released my neck and sat down next to me, "I won't." The scent of his cologne wafted through my nostrils and I felt my muscles relax at the familiar smell.

Phil was showing me and Billie pictures of his little girl Sophie when Joey and Jacob burst through the door fighting and shouting over something. Billie stood up clearly in angry parent mode as I watched.

"Hey, HEY! What the hell is going on?"
The two boys froze, they both had hold of something and were pulling at it furiously like two puppies fighting over a sock.
"I..."
"No he..."
"JAKE! I found it and..."
"No but..."
"Hey, HEY! HEY! Shut up! Now... Joey what happened?"

Billie folded his arms pulling his body up taller than his sons even though Joey was near enough the same size as him now.

"We were putting Erin's stuff in your room and this game fell out of one of the bags and I want it but so does Jake but it was obviously... "
"I FOUND IT!" Jake suddenly screeched giving a forceful heave for the video game. I gave a wicked smile to Phil before standing up and leaning against the kitchen counter just behind Billie.
"JAKE? Is there any need?" Billie spat his arms flying up to echo his question.
I sighed, "Wait a minute, what do you mean? It fell out?"
The two boys glanced at each other partially terrified before looking back at me.
"My bags were very carefully either zipped or fastened... "
"BOYS... " Billie began,
"Look, okay so you went through a bag of mine, did you go through any other ones?"
Joey and Jake shook there heads.
"Lucky guess then huh? Yes there are games in there for you; if you had delved a little deeper you would have seen that there is two of each. I know what you guys are like."
Joe let go of the game and Jake looked down at it like it had just turned into a wet fish.
"Oh... "
"Boys what do you say to Erin?" Billie sighed,
"Thank you" they chorused together looking rather ashamed.
"And?" Billie raised his eyebrow and I felt myself flush slightly, his sternness was making me very hot.
"Sorry Erin for... snooping" Joe shrugged
"Sorry Erin" Jake echoed.
"That's okay guys, next time just ASK, you may as well go get the rest of the games from the bag now... but don't be nosing in any other bags!" I yelled as they dashed from the kitchen.
Billie turned to me, a big grin on his face "I'm sorry about that, they can sniff out video games a mile away."
"I know, luckily Dave picked those out for me I was all for getting them some thing with horses but Dave said that they weren't twelve year old girls."
Billie and Phil chuckled.
"Why shouldn't they be nosing in any other bags Erin? What did you bring for Billie hmm?" Phil asked standing up and heading fro the door. I tapped my nose secretively and Phil shook his head and left the kitchen. I turned to Billie whose mouth had dropped slightly and eyes bulged dark and amazed.
"What did you bring?" he asked.
I winked at him and he also made a dash from the kitchen,
"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"
"I'm going snooping in your bags too... "
I giggled and followed him as he thundered upstairs.

Everyone had near enough arrived at the house, Billie was already slightly drunk as Tre had brought a bottle of silver tequila and had challenged the front man to, as he politely put it, a 'fucking smeg filled drink off". No one had the guts to ask what smeg meant.

I was currently talking to Holly, Billie's sister when the doorbell rang.
Billie looked at me over his shot glass and I grinned, "It'll be Mike, I'll get it."
I passed Jason on the way to the door and he winked at me and congratulated on me moving in with the drunken tequila man. I laughed and pulled open the front door to reveal Mike and Brittany and...Adi.

I froze, blocking the doorway like a complete knob, my heart skidded across my chest and my eyes rolled to look at Mike who avoided my gaze and gave a smile to nothing behind me. I felt him kiss my cheek and he glided past me straight into the house. Brittany flung her arms around my neck and hugged me.

"Hey Erin" she squealed, not noticing I still had one hand fixated to the door handle, she also glided past me and followed her fiancée. My eyes rolled to Adi, I heard the drums to That Buzzcocks song, "ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with?' and felt like punching the guy who had just stuck that on. How inappropriate.

I blinked at Adi, the last time I had seen her, her lips had been forcefully attached to Billie's in the kitchen.
"Hey" she finally mustered after what seemed like 50 years.
"Hi" I whispered my throat feeling like a desert.
"Can I come in?" She asked glancing around the porch. I suddenly felt like a complete idiot, wasn't this a chance to prove to everyone that I was okay with this?
"Yeah, yeah, sure I'm sorry, It's just... "
"Brittany didn't say that she had invited me?" Adi stepped into the hall glancing around,
"It hasn't changed at all... " she sighed walking off into the kitchen.

I heard the yells of Joe and Jake as their mother came into view from the kitchen. I slumped against the corridor wall, focusing on getting my heart rate back to normal. Billie suddenly elbowed his way through the kitchen and into the hall, his hand firmly clamped around Brittany's wrist. They hadn't noticed me yet.
"How fuckin inconsiderate do you want to be Brittany?"
"Chill Billie Joe, you house is damn well big enough for you guys to avoid each other."
"Not me you tit, Erin? Oh yes invite the ex-wife over lets see how..."
"THE EX-WIFE? Ha what a joke, you're face was a picture when Adi walked in the room" Billie flinched at Adi's name and I sighed.
Both their heads darted up to the noise I had just made.
"Seriously, thanks for worrying about me...or lack of." I turned to Brittany. "But I'm fine with it."
Billie let go of Brittany's wrist and shook his head, "I don't believe you?"
"Billie, you'll make more of a scene kicking he rout then letting her stay, It's fine, honestly."
"Wow Erin" Brittany began, "your handling this quite well."
"Wow Brittany did I mention Tre is bringing Adele as his date to your wedding?"
Brittany's jaw dropped and Billie laughed as we both walked back into the kitchen laughing. I resumed my conversation with Holly when Mike came over looking like a scalded puppy.
"Hey Erin, can I...can I have a word?"
"Sure Mike." I excused myself from Holly again, whom didn't really seem to mind as she was knocking back her drinks at an alarming pace.

We headed out into the garden, receiving some sloppy kisses from Tre as we exited the house, I followed Mike as he headed for the bench at the end of the garden. He sighed and pulled a hand through his blonde spikes.

"I apologize for Brittany."
"That's okay Mike," I sighed as he bent over to rest his elbows on his knees.
"No I mean I felt awful I should have said something but I didn't."
"Mike don't..."
"I know, I know, I just...she has me wrapped around her little finger."
He sat up and grinned at me.
I let out a pathetic laugh, "Well..."
"I do love her, that's the problem, I love her too much and she knows that. I get scared."
"Of what?"
"Well, Billie and Adi divorced and...well, Billie found you, but I feel that if anything happened I wouldn't find anyone else."
"Mike, I'm sure you would and I don't think anything will happen, Brittany does love you, even if...sometimes it doesn't feel like it." We joked and talked for a while before Mike turned to grin at me, "Do you know what?"
"What?" I asked grinning back at him.
"When you left I said to Billie that if he didn't find you and get back with you I'd kick his ass."
I burst out laughing, "That's nice Mike."

A screech erupted and we both snapped our heads up to see three silhouettes against the light of the house emerge, two skirts and a set of pants, Mike groaned, we both knew who they were. Mike checked his watch.
"Its one o'clock, we must have been talking for ages."

"Hmmm" I agreed concentrating on the three drunken people fighting in front of us. Like it was routine Mike and I both stood up and walked over to the chaos.
"What's going on?" I asked as Mike folded his arms.

"FUCKIN, PISSIN ARGHWROKA" Billie spat throwing the can of beer at his feet and frowning at Adi whose eyes showed high levels of drunkenness.
"WHAT? FUCKIN GEFFERO WHATS FURRGUERD?" Adi screeched back as Billie made a lunge at her. I grabbed his arm and he turned around the sheer anger shown in his face softened when his burning green eyes met mine. I still had no idea what was going on, Adi and Billie were communicating in some drunken language that neither Mike nor I understood.

"Erin" Billie whispered collapsing onto me as Adi let out a very loud annoyed clicking noise with her teeth.
"Billie where's Joe and Jake?" I asked.
"They are upstairs, Tre took them to bed." Brittany shot across at me standing enveloped in Mike's arms. She looked like a rabbit in headlights as I shot her a look with angry eyes.
"WHYDOO YOUA GIV WUN SHIT?" Adi yelled at me. I froze as I turned to see her glaring at me.
"YOU COULDN'T GIV WUN SHIT ABOUT MY SONS"
I swallowed. I didn't know what to say, Billie was wrapped around me like a lost child as I stroked his hair with my free hand that wasn't supporting the rest of him I made a turn to go into the house.

"NO, LETS HAVE IT OUT NOW WHERE ARE YOU GOIN?" Adi yelled at me.
"Adi, leave It I'll call you a cab huh?" Brittany piped up, going inside and leaving Mike to observe the scene completely in shock. It seemed that Billie's energy had gone and I was his temporary vertical bed.

"Tell me Ewrin, how does it feel to wreck a famiy" Adi asked, her eyes venomous black and words slurring violently.

"Adi, you're drunk okay, just leave it." Mike whispered approaching her.
"NO! NO! I'm sick of awll the pwity I want... I just want to be happy again." I swallowed, it was like dealing with a suicidal guy standing on the edge of a bridge. I couldn't find words to say to her, I felt so sorry for her, she obviously didn't love her ex-husband anymore, and she just wanted to be happy. She was jealous.
"You... you took everything away from me and..."

She wasn't looking at me, she was looking at Billie, he slumped in my arms and I let him go, Mike quickly grabbing him as Adi made for the discarded beer can and lunged.

I don't remember it happening, I woke up to see Tre sitting over me smiling, I was in Billie's bed. I suddenly felt a rush of pain to my face.
"Don't touch it, here's some Ice, it will be swollen for a day or two." Tre passed me an icepack and I stuck it to my left lip.
"What whappened?" I asked, my lip feeling like a hamster's.
Tre softly chuckled, "Adi went for Billie with a beer can and you tried to stop her suffice you got a beer can in the mush."
I chuckled, "Where wis..?"
"Billie is asleep in the guest room, Brittany took Adi home, she was so wasted, it was very sad."
I sighed, feeling the ice burning the throbbing pain away.
"You just kinda blacked, Mike and me took you up here. Everyone's gone home"
I sat up straighter against the headboard of the bed.
"Did wJoe and wJake..?"
"Nah, they were asleep. How are you feeling?"
"Like wa whamster"
"A whamster? Hmmm." Tre laughed bringing me in for a hug.
The bedroom door creaked open and Mike and Billie came plodding in rather defeated.
"Erin" Billie sighed jumping on me and hugging me so tight I couldn't breathe; he kissed my head and took in my bruised face.
"I'm sorry Erin, I really am, and you're poor beautiful face."
"She'll be fine; I've had worse things than beer cans in my gob." Tre giggled
"Yeah we know Tre" Billie rolled his eyes hugging me.
Mike sat down slowly next to me as if he would break me by bouncing the mattress too hard.
"You okay?" he asked looking guilty, "I'm sorry I should have... "
"Mike it's wnot wyour fault, wreally. Thanks wanyway." I giggled at my pronunciation.
Suddenly Mike's phone rang.
"Hello?" he answered, his eyes revolving from the three of us.
"Oh, okay, no, no, that's fine, yeah, yeah, okay..." He covered the receiver, "Erin its Britt, she says sorry."
He passed it over to me.
"Hello?"
"Hey Erin It's Britt, you okay?"
"Yeah, little bruised."
"I'm glad your alright, I'm sorry Erin."
"It's okay."
"No it's really not...here."
There was a pause down the phone and then a shuffling I frowned as the guys watched me in anticipation.
"Hello?" I died right there, it was Adi.
"Hello? Erin?"
"Hey Adi."
Billie made a grab for the phone but I swatted him away, curious about what she had to say.
"Erin... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, I don't know what came over me. I just wanted to say that I hope we can move on from that, I...I want to get to know you, I mean you seem like such a nice girl and, well, you will be looking after my sons too and...well...I know you care for them."
My heart melted towards her, it was very big of her to do this.
"Thanks Adrienne, it will be nicer to be friends."
"Thanks Erin, bye now, I'll send you some grapes."
"Bye."
I passed the phone to Mike, thoroughly exhausted and pressing the ice pack back against my face.
"She said sorry," I sighed diving under the duvet further as Billie climbed under it with me and wrapping me in his arms.
"My bodyguard needs some sleep now I think guys, thanks." He grinned as Mike and Tre got up from the bed.
"Where was Phil when you needed him?" I sighed as the others laughed.
Tre stood up and something tumbled from his pocket.
"Tre what's that?" I heard Billie ask through half-listening ears."
"Is that a jeweller's box?" Mike asked. My eyes popped open.
"Adele's coming over soon," I whispered. Billie looked down at me and grinned, stroking my sore face.
"She is indeed," He chuckled, I opened my eye just in time to see Tre wink as him and Mike left Billie and I in peace.
"Good party then," Billie whispered at me under the duvet.
I groaned as he pulled me closer,
"Love you."
"It's a good job with a face like Shamu," I sighed as he laughed cocooning me in his body, I smiled against his chest, he always knew exactly what I needed and now me and Adrienne had started a new, I realised things were going to be better. I was just glad that she didn't aim for my stomach, at least, not until I've told Billie Joe.