The Memory of Your Face

The eye and the hairdresser

The next day was lethargic, tiredness and alcohol led Billie, Tre, Dave and Adele to slob around the house all day watching Sponge bob Square pants and my old DVDs of The League of Gentlemen, a sick twisted English comedy show from the 90s, which surprisingly enough only me Dave and Adele found funny. I had just left a meeting with my bank to sort out some payments and was on my way back through Covent Garden to catch the tube to Hampstead when I passed a hairdresser. I shrugged, figuring that I needn't rush back to the four hung-over slobs probably sprawled across my living room floor and decided to go in.

"May I help you?" a pretty young girl behind the desk smiled at me.
"Er, yeah, I was wondering if I could just have a wash and a trim?" I asked as she nodded flicking through the book of appointments.
"Well... Rodger is free now if you want to take a seat and I'll just get him for you."
"Thank You," I smiled sitting down at the waiting area as I glanced around the room looking at the snooty women having their hair cut and styled.

"Hey I'm Rodger," I looked up at the man and gasped, he wasn't your typical gay hairdresser at all; he had a Mohawk, eyeliner and a Rancid t-shirt which showed his muscular arms and colourful tattoos.
"Hey," I smiled following him to the sinks at the back of the salon.
"So just a trim yeah?" he asked taking my coat and bag and placing them in a small cloakroom cupboard.
"Err Yeah please," I smiled settling myself in the chair as he began to wash my hair. I relaxed at the feeling of his massaging fingers against my scalp and sighed.
"Busy day?" he asked, his gruff voice floating through the suds surrounding my ears.
"Yeah, I was sorting some stuff out at the bank."
"Nasty," he chuckled rinsing the soap from my head with hot piping water that soothed the tensions in my neck.
"Yeah, and my bloody friends stayed in my living room all day festering in their own filth while I had to go and work."
He chuckled, "Sounds like my friends- conditioner?"
"Err yeah please." I sighed as he slid the lotion through my hair with his fingers.
"What's your name sweetie?" He asked, my belly flopping over at the name that Billie sometimes called me.
"Erin." I sighed as he finished rinsing my hair.
"Well Erin, we are going to make you look hotter than ever." He chuckled showing me to an empty chair in front of the long line of mirrors on the wall.

I smiled at the older woman having her hair coloured next to me, she smiled back with a strained sarcastic mouth that made me immediately dislike her.
"So are you going out tonight?" Rodger asked combing through my wet hair.
"Probably," I sighed trying to keep the tired convulsions of a hangover down in the pit of my belly.
"You?" I asked him as he nodded tackling a knot in the back of my head with a focused frown on his forehead.
Silence took over as he concentrated on not ripping my hair from its roots.

I listened to the conversation the woman next to me was having with her hairdresser.
"So anyway I said to Therese, No, you have college tomorrow you are not going out... "
"That's quite reasonable," the woman said folding pieces of silver paper around her roots.
"Yes, exactly and she said that she had to desperately go out and if I didn't let her go I was a terrible mother who didn't understand her."
"Sounds like me as a kid," Rodger piped up entering the conversation.
"Well her excuse was the most stupid thing I've ever heard... " the woman snapped back at him as he began trimming the ends of my hair.
"What was it Shell?" her hairdresser asked pausing for a moment to hear.
"Well, you know she has all those silly bands on her wall that she likes... the bands Rodger does... "
Rodger rolled his eyes; this woman was clearly a regular at this salon.
"Shell... they aren't silly... "
"Oh come off it Rodger, you would be so handsome if you only cut your hair and got yourself a suite."

He rolled his eyes at me in the mirror and I giggled at Shell's words.
"Anyway... well apparently this HERO of hers was spotted in this club in Camden and she had to go down there because this was her big chance at meeting him and... "
"Who was it Shell?" Her hairdresser asked
"Oh I don't know, sounds like Billy Joel but it wasn't." I froze at her words and felt myself turn red as Rodger helpfully added,
"Billie Joe Armstrong? I heard the rumour he was in Paint it Black with Tre Cool yesterday."
"Oh you would know wouldn't you?" Shell snapped at him as he chuckled in the mirror at me.
"Anyway so yeah, she goes 'I have to go' because Claire, her stupid friend, was in there and spotted them and I naturally put my foot down."
"That's harsh Shell... " Rodger grinned at her and she pursed her lips clearly un-amused.
"That's right all you people stick together, she is 17, one she wouldn't get in anyway, two, she had college the next day and three her intentions were awful, I never realised what a poor job I did raising her."
"What do you mean Shell?" Rodger asked pausing from my hair and looking at her.
"She said she wanted to try and pull him because he had just got divorced or something."

I choked at her words and they all turned to look at me.
"You okay?" Rodger asked me.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," I stuttered feeling myself go red and freeze under the hair-proof tunic that I was wrapped in.
"Want some water or something?" Shell's hairdresser asked
"No I'm, I'm okay," I smiled at them swallowing hard.

Shell stood up then and was moved to the dryer, gabbing away still to her poor hairdresser. "You hear that rumour too?" Rodger asked me starting to scissor my hair again, "I heard from a friend of mine that Billie Joe knows the owners or something."
"Yeah, yeah," I nodded, debating whether to say something or not.
"I'm going there tonight, he may go again, it would be great to meet him and Tre I'm a big fan."
I smiled at him, this guy was sweet.
"I err, I could get your name on the guest list if you'd like." I smiled my stomach queasy at this talk of Billie Joe.
"Really? Wow! Could you? How?" Rodger stammered standing up from cutting my hair and looking at me wide eyed in the mirror.
"Well, err, I have connections... " I lied, "Got any paper?"
"Yeah," he grinned wider handing me a crumbled card for the hairdressers and a pen.
"Cheers, what's your name and how many people?"
"Err, Rodger Grey and 3 people"
"Okay, that's fine." I smiled at him tucking the paper in my pocket and making a mental note to ring the bouncers later.
"Thanks Erin, that's great of you."
"Its okay, I don't think you'll be seeing Billie Joe tonight though," I smiled the name bruising my lips lovingly.
"Oh, how do you know?" He asked starting to dry my hair with fancy straighteners with a built in dryer thing.
"I just do," I smiled.
He looked up at me in the mirror, "You not telling me something here. I'll give you a free cut and blow if you tell me."

I smiled at him.
"Okay what do you work as?"
I chuckled softly, "I own Paint in Black with my cousin."
"NO fucking way!" he stated, "So, like, those friends of your slobbing around your house... is... is that Billie Joe and Tre?"
I nodded slowly my eyes burning in my skull.
"WOW," Rodger gasped chuckling to himself, "I won't tell anyone Erin, I promise, your secret is safe with me... hey feel free to come in any time for a cut."
I giggled at him feeling quite smug that dropping in Billie's name had gotten me a few free hair cuts.

AN HOUR IN THE MIND OF BILLIE JOE:

My heart thudded rapidly in my chest as we approached the London Eye, it was effort just getting her here, especially with Tre nearly wrecking up the whole plan with his big mouth. God the loser, It's a good job Dave and Adele are here otherwise I would have killed him for inviting himself along. Well, at least those three will be safely tucked away in a movie somewhere...

"Billie It's the London Eye, I've been on it before."
"I know but I haven't so I wanna go..."
"Billie you went on it for that MTV interview," I snarled at Tre's words, sometimes I felt like shoving one of his fuckin cheesy socks down his throat.
"Oh no... wait you didn't, you wouldn't go up would you?" Tre tried to dust over his mistake with an even worse statement as I flared my nostrils in his direction.
Erin frowned, "Billie if you don't like heights then why..?"

"I do like heights Erin; I was just really hung-over that day," I quickly jabbered taking in her face, I knew she didn't believe me, but after booking this fuckin pod to do this I had to lie through my teeth, it was for her benefit after all.
"Go on Erin stop being a nobhead, Bill's booked it and stuff, anyway remember when you did go on? You couldn't enjoy it because you and G had a fight about where that woman's shoes where from?" Dave helpfully added. I grinned at him thank God Dave was quick enough to back me up. He nudged Tre proud of his argument.
"Okay, okay, you did get me a free haircut today so; yeah call a cab Bidj... " she winked at me, running up the stairs to change. I sighed, relief spreading through me,
"Nice one Tre you dumbass you nearly fucked that one up."

Later on boarding the pod I was determined to wait till the very top to ask her. My heart shuddered against my ribs, what if she said no? What would I do? I'd always promised myself that if I ever found her again I would ask her, but now I have to do it I found myself shaking.
"Billie are you okay?" she asked squeezing my hand as we looked out through the pod's windows at London below.
"Yeah, I was just thinking?"
"About what?" she asked, her eyebrow lifting slightly.
"About how long this ride is?"
"It's an hour I think," she shrugged her shoulders glancing out at the night sky of London. It was a beautiful sight, the neon lights reflecting her soft features making her eyes shine beautifully.
"Doesn't it look so pretty?" She smiled at me glancing from the glass.
"Yeah, it almost looks clean... " I joked, slipping a hand in my trouser pocket as she laughed. I fingered the jeweller's box hidden in the confines of my trousers, slightly relived it was still there.
"Do you think the others will be drunk by now?" she asked turning to me slowly, her words echoing through the empty pod.
"Yeah, obviously." I swallowed, my mouth becoming so dry, I was getting so nervous, visions of her snapping back at me and saying 'no' hurtled through my mind.
"Hey... do you think they have cameras in here?" she asked glancing around completely un-aware of the life changing question I was going to ask her.
"Why?" I frowned, again fingering the box just encase an evil pixie decided to swipe it from my pocket. I could just imagine myself getting down on my knees and everything and the ring just suddenly having disappeared.
"I was thinking... do you think anyone has ever done it in one of these pods?" She giggled lacing her arm tighter around my waist.
I chuckled at her teasing slinking my arm around her shoulders. Standing together watching the beautiful views below us in the dark sky I could feel it, now was the time; looking down at her I swallowed hard...
"Erin... "

"WAHHEEEYY" A loud yell erupted over the intercom in our pod and we both turned around rapidly as a voice said, "Congratulations to Sam and Jane in Pod 6 who have just become engaged."
My heart melted in my chest, fuckin Sam had beaten me to it, I couldn't ask her now...

"How cheesy... " Erin giggled looking up at me smiling. I forced a smile on my lips, I was gutted, asking her now wouldn't look very original would it. Maybe I should have listened to Adele, she did say that the London Eye wasn't a very original Idea to ask her to marry me... and now fuckin Sam and Jane have proved her right... Goddammit, Just get me off this fuckin thing. I fuckin hate heights.
***

Something was up with Billie; he hadn't been right since we got into this taxi destined for the house outside the London eye. Climbing out the cab and entering the house I was shocked to see Dave, Tre and Adele, stood in the hall with huge smiles on their faces...
"Well?" Tre asked.
"Well what?" I questioned puzzled at what the hell was going on. Adele pushed past Tre and grabbed my left hand, she scanned the fingers then dropped it like a hotcake...
"You said No? You fuckin bitch!" she yelled at me before glancing behind my shoulder at Billie, her face suddenly dropped and she looked back down at me, a mild stoke of shock apparent on her face.
"Why, oh why haven't you got a manicure? You fuckin silly bitch... "
I tilted my head at her, I wasn't thick, I turned around to Billie who shrugged at me quite innocently.
I followed the terrible threesome into the kitchen; they all looked utterly distracted and frequently glanced at me and Billie then at each other.
"So err, how was the London Eye?" Dave asked as he turned to make some tea.
"The same as usual," I stated dryly, still frowning at the thing I was clearly not in on.
"Some couple got engaged on it, surprise, surprise," I stated sitting down and leaning on my arm.

They all snapped there heads up at my statement and looked at Billie, eyes showing an apologetic, sympathetic stare. I frowned, "What the hell is going on?" I stood up and looked at the four of them; Adele was biting her lip and trying desperately to hide behind Dave who lifted his tea to his forehead. Tre sat down in my vacant seat and stared at the floor like a naughty child. Billie was also staring at the floor, his longer hair flopping down over his face.
"Seriously... " I looked at each one of them, tiredness and anger rising in my throat,
"Do you know what? I don't fuckin care, I'm goin to bed," I sighed and slid past Billie Joe who looked at me sadly.
"Its only quarter to 12!! Tre shouted from the kitchen as I climbed the stairs.
"I'm tired," I sighed slamming my bedroom door shut and collapsing onto the bed.

After a while I heard music pounding up through the floor of the house. I groaned waking myself up and shivering. I kicked off my shoes and scrambled around getting under the cover. I sighed at it's warmth as I stretched out my toes and snuggled deeper into its thick confides...
Ring, ring, ring, ring.

The shrill tone of the telephone erupted as soon as snapped my eyes shut.
"Hello?" I sighed down the receiver scratching my head
"Erin?" a small voice answered...
"Joe?" I asked sitting up in shock and excitement.
"Hey"
"Oh Joe! Are you okay?" I giggled at Billie's eldest son down the phone.
"Yeah Erin are you?" He asked sounding equally amused.
"Yeah Joe, I'm good, are you okay? How did you get this number?"
"Dad said to ring it and well... I was ringing to speak to dad... " My heart sank and I sighed.
"Oh... okay... "
"Oh no, no, Erin I'm just as happy to speak to you, I've missed you lots, and our new cleaner isn't as nice as you. She smells of cats." I giggled at him down the phone.
"Why did you go?" he asked. I swallowed at the question.
"Well... I... it wasn't because of you or Jake, I... it was few a few things."
"Oh," Joe breathed down the receiver understanding I didn't want to delve into such things over the phone.
"Well... did dad ask you?" He quietly questioned
"Ask me what?" I frowned in confusion.
"Oh nothing... " he drifted and I made a small noise in my throat, suddenly, things began to add up, questions, hands, fingers, and the engagement hotspot of the London Eye. My throat lurched and I gasped. Was Billie going to ask me to marry him?
"Erin, you okay?" a small voice grabbed my foot as I began to lurch upwards into the sky...
"Yeah, yeah, I'll get your dad for you Joe... "

Shouting for Billie made me want to vomit. He burst open the bedroom door and I handed him the phone without a word. He glanced at me cautiously before taking up the receiver and began talking to his son.

I turned around, biting my lip for want of crying and laughing at the same time. My eyes rolled across the wooden floor, taking in every bruise on the wood. I sighed, the bruises I had been through, the hurt and the pain, and now, now... Do I want to marry him? Was it just a quick fix to a problem that was buried deeper? Marriage had always frightened me; it never seemed to go right anymore, happily ever after didn't happen. I knew it didn't; look at Billie's marriage to Adrienne. Childhood sweethearts, everything in common, both beautiful people, well off, happy... but that didn't last, 16 years and it didn't last... why would mine last?

Through my thoughts I heard Billie put the phone down and sit down next to me on the bed.
"Erin are you okay?" He whispered his arm bringing itself around my neck. I sniffed, relaxing against his chest.
"Yeah."
"Did you figure out what was going on?" he asked nervously.
I nodded, feeling tears trickle down my cheeks. I got angry with myself, why the hell did I always have to cry?
"Erin... sweetie, I... I didn't want to loose you again, it's just... well." I felt his tone rise amusingly.
"If you don't want to get married that badly then... "
I started laughing at him, "Billie... it's, it's not that... "
"Then what?"
I looked up at him, a smile spreading across my mouth. "Don't you think it's a bit soon?" I asked, as he blinked.
"I suppose," he smiled back sadly. "We have only been back together a week."
"Not even that," I chuckled, my hand rising to stroke his face.
"I can see how strange it is now... it just seemed really romantic before."
We both laughed, "It was Jane and Sam's night tonight," I giggled, as he nodded, his hand reaching around my dress and pulling the zip down.
"Well, we can make it ours in a different way... "