‹ Prequel: Damaged
Apology Accepted
Apology Accepted
There was a light rain in the air, I called my head into collection, trying to sort out all of my thoughts, there isn't enough time in the day to really walk alone.
I just set off for my best friend's house, I don't think she knows she's my best. I really don't think she even gives a damn. I don't blame her, I'm a prick. I hate people who I don't like and I obsess over those I really love. Oh OK so I don't love really anybody, except her. But she knows it, and if she were to tap into her real side- not trying to be someone she's not, she would know that. It's unseasonably cold for May. I shiver and shake, I can hear my teeth chattering, aha theme music. I really want to say some thing gutsy before I leave, I want to talk to her, maybe work out something, say I'm sorry and I could get used to her new boyfriend...maybe. But then when I saw her at the computer Iming him and I could see her happiness glowing around her from looking in the window, I couldn't feel anything. I started to tremble.
Why is she talking to him now!
what is it about him that I don't have?
Clearly I'm better then him, I'm bigger, and stronger, I'm her kind, she knows me, the real me...
I could feel the black orb of hate dwelling in my stomach, eating at my insides. It was numbing, it was just.... I Hate him. Why? Why him and not me? I growled deep in the back of my throat. I marched up those stairs, shoulders back, black hair- now shoulder length- falling around my face like she likes it, and knocked on her door. I could see her expression now, cocking her pretty head, hair falling over her brow, hearing my heavy hand tapping-well at least to me it was tapping to them maybe breaking the door in half- getting up, flitting over to the door, a wide smile on her face, throwing her arms around me and kissing me long. I shivered violently. My Slipknot hoodie was keeping my bones warm but I doubt the shiver was from being cold. I hit the door as light as I could once more, really lightly for fear of the weak wood's sake. I could hear her foot falls, oh wow, this was it. My heart thudded against my chest so hard it hurt. My breathing picked up and my every atom was on fire. My love. My Cat, oh my Cat. The door opened so light, it could have been opened by the passing breeze. I saw one hand with lime green nails around the handle and gradually a petite girl with short dark hair. She was wearing an over sized Fox racing tee shirt and ripped jeans standing in the door way. I sucked in all of my breath, my heart roaring up to greater speeds in my throat now. "Brandon." she murmured with a sharp inhale. The look on her face was sour, her full raspberry lips were pursed. This was not the reaction I wanted. "Cat....." I said, my voice breaking off, sounding higher, more choked than usual. Her gaze softened at the emotion in that simple word. She stood blocking the way, her bare feet, toes painted the same shock green, peeking out from beneath her long jeans. Her emerald eyes boring into me. "H-how ya been?" I asked her with a new cracking in my voice, a nervous crack. She looked around me, for what? Someone better to be looking at? I clenched my jaw. "I've been perfect." she said so lightly. I clenched my jaw even tighter. "Yeah? So...uhhh...how's umm hows' life?" I hesitated looking for words that made sense. A way to start what I wanted to say. "It's been...really, really perfect." she said sounding generically happy, almost ditsy. Her eyes were glazed over. Joel. "Yeah? That's cool." I said looking at her frantically. It was freezing, and raining. Was she even gonna let me in? As if she read my thoughts she began, "Come in." she sounded a little sad, almost like giving in. I slumped a little. "You know you could have given me a warning..." she mumbled almost to herself. "Well, I didn't think you would let me over." I said a little shakily. I could see my reflection in her mirror, big burly guy, Gothic looking, shoulders too broad, chest too ripped, waist anorexically skinny, way too tall. I was reaching seven feet now. My hair a tangled black mess. Eyes wide, an abnormal shade of cloudy sky gray. Next to her I seemed a monster. Oh but she was a monster, of every kind, if not more lethal than me. She shrugged, "Your a good guesser." I felt stung. My heart slowing. Defeated I flopped into a chair, letting my bulk over fill it. She gestured to the kitchen, "No I already ate." I said smiling, she winced and I knew it got to her. I don't know how you can slaughter something like that Brandon...
Her voice was happier then. At least in my thoughts she was always happier when talking to me. I knew we wouldn't work things out, it was clear she didn't want me, she didn't want anything to do with me at all. It would never be right, I'd always be a bothersome to her. I'd always be 'The brother she couldn't get to stop getting a hard on from her' as she put it to Joel. Her mother called from another room, She walked into the hallway, "I'll be right back." she grumbled as her lithe body disappeared around the corner. I jumped up from the chair silently and ghosted to the computer, no one could hear me. I stroked the keyboard. It came to life, yep she was on with Joel. I took the opportunity.
We talked a bit, I told him some stuff about her, not bad things but that she meant a lot to me and to take care of her. I figured that would do it.
She came back, I was already across the room and in the chair, TV on, legs sprawled by the time she even got close to turning the corner. She gave me a quizzical look, then crossed to the computer. It came on, and she began typing.
"Don't you want to know why I'm here?" I asked with an honest questioning in my voice. She looked at me again, her eyes flashing chocolate brown. "I really don't care." she scowled as she said it. Damn, right between the legs. I winced. Groaning I leaned over towards her, "Sorry to say this out loud but I only came over to see you." She whipped around, "Well your looking aren't you?" she snapped, I froze. I began to revolt, there were spasms flexing through my loins up to my spine and into my shoulders. Not here, oh Moon not here. I Shivered, my skin catching fire, oh no. I Bit my cheek, tasting blood. Crap. She looked at from the corner of her eye. I Trembled, the chair was slipping out from under me.
"WHAT THE FUCK?" I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't control, I felt my fangs shove through my gums, felt the tips of my ears point. "Why do you do this to me?" I convulsed, making my words sound choked. I jumped out of the chair. "Shut up Brandon." she gasped looking a little sick. "I came here to see if you were alright, I'm sorry I was an ass, but I can see that your not worth the waste of breath to say it. For the fucking millionth time, I LOVE YOU! Hey, don't look at me like that. I don't want to hurt you." I paused, she gaped hiding the mock, "Brandon, what's wrong with you?!" she said gesturing to me basically breaking the chair arms with my grip. "I just wanted to say goodbye." I mumbled creeping to the door. She stopped me by the arm, "Why?" she breathed, "Why me?" she said a tear cascading down her cheek. "Why not?" I shot back at her, "I'm sorry, I have to go, I really hope he makes you happy, really Cat." I broke off as if I would retch, I almost broke the handle of the door trying to get it open. I sucked in lungfuls of cold night air, scrambling to get out to the porch. I was gonna phase, great. "Brandon, get some help." She mouthed, "Please, I don't want to see you like this." and for a second she sounded sincere, but all I could see was anger in her eyes. "I can't stand this stop being a dick, your only hurting yourself, Joel is my boyfriend, there is nothing left for you to hold on to." "I love you." I whimpered, I was crying now, my voice was high and crackling, my chest was heaving in and out awkwardly, bile rose up to my throat. "No, you don't. Go home." she yelled, "I have no home." I said shaking my head, I reached for her. "Fuck you do, go find some drunk slut, she's make a nice replica if you glamor her up to be me." she spit out, "No, please...." I caught my breath, it sounded like a roar. My spine snapped and my knees buckled. I couldn't feel anything just pain. "Leave me alone! I hate you! Go away!" she shouted, "You don't need me, I-" I cut her off, "Stop playing human and be what you really are! One day. One day you'll snap, we all have, one day when your fucking him you'll taste his flesh and you won't stop." She slapped me, the kind of slap that she used to give. I had to admit, it wasn't the slap that hurt it was that she actually slapped me. I let out my breath in a shaky moan. I grabbed her and pushed her to me, she stiffened in my arms, hissed. I smashed her against me and slowly let her go. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "Yeah and I'm sorry that you're an awful fuck." she snapped. I backed away unable to say anymore. I looked at her tear stained face. Backed away and took off.
I ran so hard I ran with every one of my bones. The wind whipped past me, traffic, then woods, 301 South. I ran harder and harder eventually curling over to all fours, back and forth back and forth I moved my shoulders in sync with my legs.
He's my boyfriend.
I skidded to a stop, turning just in time to let myself become violently ill in the grass. Just the thought of him inside her. No.
I Threw up again, snot and tears running down my face. I do need help. I'm not in control anymore. She's right.
I looked around looking for someone that's never going to be near me again. If I died, I wonder if she'd even cry. Go to my funeral? I saw woods, not even they felt like home.
Railroad tracks. The ones right before Joel's house. I sighed and let the change come. Only my arms got longer and a light down fell over my skin. I ran my hands through my hair as I walked to the train tracks. There was a rumbling beneath my feet. It was pitch black dark, raining. Cold. I wanted to be warm. Everything smelt cold, bitter, aching. The rumbling got louder. I looked up to see a light coming around the corner.
I'm sorry your such an awful fuck.
The light was even closer, a loud roaring, and thunder.
"Apology accepted." I whispered
and then a force was upon me. And then nothing.
Brandon Uley
April 20,1991 - May 15, 2008
I just set off for my best friend's house, I don't think she knows she's my best. I really don't think she even gives a damn. I don't blame her, I'm a prick. I hate people who I don't like and I obsess over those I really love. Oh OK so I don't love really anybody, except her. But she knows it, and if she were to tap into her real side- not trying to be someone she's not, she would know that. It's unseasonably cold for May. I shiver and shake, I can hear my teeth chattering, aha theme music. I really want to say some thing gutsy before I leave, I want to talk to her, maybe work out something, say I'm sorry and I could get used to her new boyfriend...maybe. But then when I saw her at the computer Iming him and I could see her happiness glowing around her from looking in the window, I couldn't feel anything. I started to tremble.
Why is she talking to him now!
what is it about him that I don't have?
Clearly I'm better then him, I'm bigger, and stronger, I'm her kind, she knows me, the real me...
I could feel the black orb of hate dwelling in my stomach, eating at my insides. It was numbing, it was just.... I Hate him. Why? Why him and not me? I growled deep in the back of my throat. I marched up those stairs, shoulders back, black hair- now shoulder length- falling around my face like she likes it, and knocked on her door. I could see her expression now, cocking her pretty head, hair falling over her brow, hearing my heavy hand tapping-well at least to me it was tapping to them maybe breaking the door in half- getting up, flitting over to the door, a wide smile on her face, throwing her arms around me and kissing me long. I shivered violently. My Slipknot hoodie was keeping my bones warm but I doubt the shiver was from being cold. I hit the door as light as I could once more, really lightly for fear of the weak wood's sake. I could hear her foot falls, oh wow, this was it. My heart thudded against my chest so hard it hurt. My breathing picked up and my every atom was on fire. My love. My Cat, oh my Cat. The door opened so light, it could have been opened by the passing breeze. I saw one hand with lime green nails around the handle and gradually a petite girl with short dark hair. She was wearing an over sized Fox racing tee shirt and ripped jeans standing in the door way. I sucked in all of my breath, my heart roaring up to greater speeds in my throat now. "Brandon." she murmured with a sharp inhale. The look on her face was sour, her full raspberry lips were pursed. This was not the reaction I wanted. "Cat....." I said, my voice breaking off, sounding higher, more choked than usual. Her gaze softened at the emotion in that simple word. She stood blocking the way, her bare feet, toes painted the same shock green, peeking out from beneath her long jeans. Her emerald eyes boring into me. "H-how ya been?" I asked her with a new cracking in my voice, a nervous crack. She looked around me, for what? Someone better to be looking at? I clenched my jaw. "I've been perfect." she said so lightly. I clenched my jaw even tighter. "Yeah? So...uhhh...how's umm hows' life?" I hesitated looking for words that made sense. A way to start what I wanted to say. "It's been...really, really perfect." she said sounding generically happy, almost ditsy. Her eyes were glazed over. Joel. "Yeah? That's cool." I said looking at her frantically. It was freezing, and raining. Was she even gonna let me in? As if she read my thoughts she began, "Come in." she sounded a little sad, almost like giving in. I slumped a little. "You know you could have given me a warning..." she mumbled almost to herself. "Well, I didn't think you would let me over." I said a little shakily. I could see my reflection in her mirror, big burly guy, Gothic looking, shoulders too broad, chest too ripped, waist anorexically skinny, way too tall. I was reaching seven feet now. My hair a tangled black mess. Eyes wide, an abnormal shade of cloudy sky gray. Next to her I seemed a monster. Oh but she was a monster, of every kind, if not more lethal than me. She shrugged, "Your a good guesser." I felt stung. My heart slowing. Defeated I flopped into a chair, letting my bulk over fill it. She gestured to the kitchen, "No I already ate." I said smiling, she winced and I knew it got to her. I don't know how you can slaughter something like that Brandon...
Her voice was happier then. At least in my thoughts she was always happier when talking to me. I knew we wouldn't work things out, it was clear she didn't want me, she didn't want anything to do with me at all. It would never be right, I'd always be a bothersome to her. I'd always be 'The brother she couldn't get to stop getting a hard on from her' as she put it to Joel. Her mother called from another room, She walked into the hallway, "I'll be right back." she grumbled as her lithe body disappeared around the corner. I jumped up from the chair silently and ghosted to the computer, no one could hear me. I stroked the keyboard. It came to life, yep she was on with Joel. I took the opportunity.
We talked a bit, I told him some stuff about her, not bad things but that she meant a lot to me and to take care of her. I figured that would do it.
She came back, I was already across the room and in the chair, TV on, legs sprawled by the time she even got close to turning the corner. She gave me a quizzical look, then crossed to the computer. It came on, and she began typing.
"Don't you want to know why I'm here?" I asked with an honest questioning in my voice. She looked at me again, her eyes flashing chocolate brown. "I really don't care." she scowled as she said it. Damn, right between the legs. I winced. Groaning I leaned over towards her, "Sorry to say this out loud but I only came over to see you." She whipped around, "Well your looking aren't you?" she snapped, I froze. I began to revolt, there were spasms flexing through my loins up to my spine and into my shoulders. Not here, oh Moon not here. I Shivered, my skin catching fire, oh no. I Bit my cheek, tasting blood. Crap. She looked at from the corner of her eye. I Trembled, the chair was slipping out from under me.
"WHAT THE FUCK?" I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't control, I felt my fangs shove through my gums, felt the tips of my ears point. "Why do you do this to me?" I convulsed, making my words sound choked. I jumped out of the chair. "Shut up Brandon." she gasped looking a little sick. "I came here to see if you were alright, I'm sorry I was an ass, but I can see that your not worth the waste of breath to say it. For the fucking millionth time, I LOVE YOU! Hey, don't look at me like that. I don't want to hurt you." I paused, she gaped hiding the mock, "Brandon, what's wrong with you?!" she said gesturing to me basically breaking the chair arms with my grip. "I just wanted to say goodbye." I mumbled creeping to the door. She stopped me by the arm, "Why?" she breathed, "Why me?" she said a tear cascading down her cheek. "Why not?" I shot back at her, "I'm sorry, I have to go, I really hope he makes you happy, really Cat." I broke off as if I would retch, I almost broke the handle of the door trying to get it open. I sucked in lungfuls of cold night air, scrambling to get out to the porch. I was gonna phase, great. "Brandon, get some help." She mouthed, "Please, I don't want to see you like this." and for a second she sounded sincere, but all I could see was anger in her eyes. "I can't stand this stop being a dick, your only hurting yourself, Joel is my boyfriend, there is nothing left for you to hold on to." "I love you." I whimpered, I was crying now, my voice was high and crackling, my chest was heaving in and out awkwardly, bile rose up to my throat. "No, you don't. Go home." she yelled, "I have no home." I said shaking my head, I reached for her. "Fuck you do, go find some drunk slut, she's make a nice replica if you glamor her up to be me." she spit out, "No, please...." I caught my breath, it sounded like a roar. My spine snapped and my knees buckled. I couldn't feel anything just pain. "Leave me alone! I hate you! Go away!" she shouted, "You don't need me, I-" I cut her off, "Stop playing human and be what you really are! One day. One day you'll snap, we all have, one day when your fucking him you'll taste his flesh and you won't stop." She slapped me, the kind of slap that she used to give. I had to admit, it wasn't the slap that hurt it was that she actually slapped me. I let out my breath in a shaky moan. I grabbed her and pushed her to me, she stiffened in my arms, hissed. I smashed her against me and slowly let her go. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "Yeah and I'm sorry that you're an awful fuck." she snapped. I backed away unable to say anymore. I looked at her tear stained face. Backed away and took off.
I ran so hard I ran with every one of my bones. The wind whipped past me, traffic, then woods, 301 South. I ran harder and harder eventually curling over to all fours, back and forth back and forth I moved my shoulders in sync with my legs.
He's my boyfriend.
I skidded to a stop, turning just in time to let myself become violently ill in the grass. Just the thought of him inside her. No.
I Threw up again, snot and tears running down my face. I do need help. I'm not in control anymore. She's right.
I looked around looking for someone that's never going to be near me again. If I died, I wonder if she'd even cry. Go to my funeral? I saw woods, not even they felt like home.
Railroad tracks. The ones right before Joel's house. I sighed and let the change come. Only my arms got longer and a light down fell over my skin. I ran my hands through my hair as I walked to the train tracks. There was a rumbling beneath my feet. It was pitch black dark, raining. Cold. I wanted to be warm. Everything smelt cold, bitter, aching. The rumbling got louder. I looked up to see a light coming around the corner.
I'm sorry your such an awful fuck.
The light was even closer, a loud roaring, and thunder.
"Apology accepted." I whispered
and then a force was upon me. And then nothing.
Brandon Uley
April 20,1991 - May 15, 2008