You Trained These Lips When They Were Champs

skullzxbonez: its almost 11pm wat do u think may-hemannie will say 2day?
ciwwaf_luvr: idk. but i hope theres a concert soon!!!!!
May-hemAnnie [admin] has logged in.
May-hemAnnie: Good evening, little fanchildren! It's eleven o'clock, do you know where your favorite band members are?
ciwwaf_luvr: hi mayhemannie!!!!! how r u 2day?

I despise chat-speak.

May-hemAnnie: Amazing! Thank you for asking. Would you like to know when and where CIWWAF's next show is?
skullzxbonez: omg ya!!!
ciwwaf_luvr: ya!!!!! tell us plz!!!
May-hemAnnie: Is it really just you two today? Goodness gracious, it's very not-busy in here. And as for show details- check the blog! Oh, you may talk like newbies, but you know the routine! I never give away show information in the chatroom. Otherwise it gets lost in like five seconds, and I'm forced to go to shows alone! That would be horrid, wouldn't it?

My laptop computer pings, and a pop-up window shows up on my screen.

bird-eman [admin] wouold like to private chat with you.

Another admin? CIWWCF requits new admins like wildfire now. I click 'Accept' anyway.

bird-eman: Hello, May-hemAnnie! (I do wish you'd allow nicknames...) I read your blog, and you're missing a show.

Okay, new admin knows nothing. I never miss a show.

May-hemAnnie: No nicknames. Sorry! But why do you say I'm missing a show? Is there one you know of that- b'gosh, b'golly- I haven't heard about! Gasp!
bird-eman: Most certainly do. It's in the merry month of May, on the sixteenth.

My, my, aren't we cocky?

May-hemAnnie: Really? Where?
bird-eman: Spokane, Washington.

OH MY GOD! I live like twenty miles from there.

May-hemAnnie: OH MY GOD! I live like twenty miles from there.
bird-eman: I can get you tickets.
May-hemAnnie: Really?

That can either be taken as skeptical or excited, in my case, let's go with skeptical. What do you want to be, though, that he will say-

bird-eman: You sound really excited.

Good call. That's exactly what I was going to say.

bird-eman: Give me your e-mail and I'll send you the tickets.

Hey, I have an idea! Let's play, 'Call the New Admin's Bluff!'

May-hemAnnie: mayhem_annie@ciwwaf.com.
bird-eman: Creative. But I've never heard of ciwwaf.com. Are you giving me a fake e-mail?
May-hemAnnie: Darling dear, it's Mail.com. They let you create the suffix. Wanna test it? Send something.

I pull up a new window and type www.mail.com into the browser, and log in. Sure enough, there's a message waiting for me from tfalc_ciwwaf@hotmail.com. "Okay" is all it says.

I reply wit, "Darling dear bird-eman! I told you I wasn't lying," and press send. I click back on CIWWCF.net.

May-hemAnnie: Believe me now?
bird-eman: Yes. Well, now for sending tickets... Wait a moment.

I wait until he responds again.

bird-eman: Check your e-mail.

I do. In reply to my message, there's a link to Ticketmaster. I click the link, and there are two prepaid tickets to the May 16th show. I look over at whose credit card they've been billed to, and either gasp or laugh. Or possilby a combination of the two.

The name says Tom Falcone.