You Trained These Lips When They Were Champs

After the show in California, we all help put the gear back in the bus. While we're doing that, we see the guys from Powerspace with a girl we've never seen. She seems on pretty good terms with Tom specifically.

"Hey babe," I say to May-ann. "Wanna go see the guys?" I nod at Powerspace.

She gets a hostile look on her face for a split second, then says, "Not so much, really. You can, though."

"All right then." I'm not even going to ask why. "I'll be back soon." I kiss her on the forehead.

Over at the Powerspace van, Tom introduces me to the girl.

"Jeff, this is my friend from high school- you know those chick friends you had that you always wanted to-"

She hits him on the arm, hard. "You knew that if you ever made a move on me that you'd get hit in the balls," she says, smirking.

"Anyway, this is Liz."

"Hi," she says brightly, waving.

Tom whispers in my ear, "We're trying to hook her up with Alec so he forgets about Miss May-ann." Liz rolls her eyes, like she knew what he was saying. (She probably did.)

"Excuse me?" I say, somewhat gobsmacked.

"You- oh. Okay. It's just that he had a crush on her for a while. It wasn't much."

"Mhm. Well, as long as he kept his hands off."

"Yup. Anyway, so want to talk to Liz for a while? We need to finish packing up."

"Sure. So, Liz, how did you and Tom meet?"

"High school."

"Um... Okay." A creepy awkward silence follows.

"Yoou know, I hate when people plot against me."

"I'm lost."

"Well, they wanted Alec to get his mind off your girl, so Tom called on me for this favor that I owed him from back when we were in high school. Of course it would be that I had to hook up with one of his buddies.

"Well, I guess I can't really say that, since sex isn't part of the deal. And that's what 'hooking up' really is, isn't it?

"Anyway, the huge thing I have with this is that I don't want some guy getting all hung up on me while I pretend to like him. That might be a drain. You know?"

"I'm not sure that I've ever had a guy hung up on me while I pretend to like him, but I think I see your point.

She laughs. "Well, I suppose he has the potential for me to like him. I mean, he is cute. I might consider it."

"Consider what?" I say, even though I know the answer.

"Going out with him. Duh."

"Well now, I'm thinking I have some hot gossip."

"Riiight. Tell anyone besites Max, Tom, or Kevin, and you'll feel an army boot in your colon.

"Yowch. Okay."

"Hey, Jeff, we're about to split," Max cuts in. "We'll see you later."

"Yeah, so will I," Liz agrees. "I'm apparently going with them. They even had me pack stuff."

"Wow, they really want you to go with Alec."

"Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, I'll see you when I see you."

"Right." I wave and leave.