Is it typical?

Gerard rolled over from my arms and held the sheets closer to his chest. The lack of warmth shocked me and I opened my eyes to see his back to me. I rolled over away from him and huddled with my arms around me. I looked around the room. Our clothes were still on the floor, just as we had thrown them off from the night before. I could even see the condom wrapper sticking out from the garbage can. Thoughts of last night flooded my mind. We had been so close. I felt like he was a part of me, and we would be together forever. Then I thought of the way he stole the covers and just rolled over on his side to be alone. He had been snuggling me all night. I didn't understand if he had turned over on instinct or if it was something more. I shrugged it off and glanced at the clock, seeing it was 9:14 am. I pulled myself out of bed and straggled to get to the mirror. The nightgown that was sexy last night looked like a costume in the morning. The hair he had so playfully messed up now looked like a rat's nest. The lipstick I put on just to smear it on his face now looked tacky. The thong I surprised him with now looked trashy. I wasn't proud of myself. I closed my eyes. Put my hands against the sink and stretched. I glared back up at my reflection. I was disappointed. I started the shower and slipped my nightgown off. After carefully stepping into the shower, I stood with the water pounding into my aching back, head down for as long as I could stand. I let the steam clear my head and the pressure of the water get to me. It became harder and harder to breathe. My lungs were filled with lead, they were heavy and I couldn't completely breathe in. My head was pounding, and for the first time in a shower, I felt dirty. I shut my eyes tight, and started to cry. Cry, because of the pain. Cry, because I let him do it to me. Cry, because I didn't keep my promise. Cry, because I got caught up in the moment. Cry, because I knew, he didn't love me. I fell to my knees and everything went black.

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I heard the jingle of her cell phone. Damn, that thing is loud. I pulled the pillow over my head, trying to block out the sound. But the ringing kept on. It got louder. I finally gave up and threw the pillow across the room. It did not help, whatsoever. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Had the room always been this bright? I couldn't remember. I walked over to the table next to wall and picked up her phone. It read: 1 new text message, 1 missed call. I opened it and read the text. It was from Frank. “Hey, I'll be over in a few. We still hanging out today?” The missed call was from him too. He obviously wanted to talk to her. I could her the shower in the background and yelled, “Frank called and he's coming over soon.” I heard no answer but shrugged it off and walked over the wardrobe to get dressed. It's her house, and I hadn't planned on staying over. I collected my forgotten clothes and dressed myself. Found my phone on the kitchen counter, next to my wallet and wrote a note for her. “Sorry I had to leave, going to my place to work on a few things. Have fun with Frank. Luv G.” I put it on the table next to her phone, then grabbed my keys out of my pocket and walked out the front door. My car was still parked there, and I quickly got inside and cranked the stereo. To tell you the truth, I can't explain last night and I'm glad she woke up before and there was no awkward-ness. I'm also glad Frank is over, giving me a chance to leave. Then, my Senses Fail CD started playing. I drummed along to the beat on the steering wheel. Soon, I was driving into my driveway and parking my car. As I walked in, I noticed a letter from my landlord. I picked it up and brought it inside. Taking off my shoes, and sitting on the couch, I read the letter. “You are failing to pay your full rent....If you do not act soon, you could be evicted....” This wasn't the first letter. I didn't have a job, and I was using my “college fund” my mother started for my when I was younger, when I believed I was going to go to college. When I thought, whatever the money, I'll pay. When I didn't know anything, or how to tell if my mother was lying. My mother never believed I was going to be educated. I believe, she had me start the fund just in case for bail money. It's going to run out. Soon.