Brian Haner Jr

"Hush, Skylar," Brian pleaded as he rocked his daughter in his arms.

When she'd awakened a little more than an hour before, he'd rushed upstairs at the first whisper of her cry. He'd checked her diaper, which had been dry, then had carefully fed her. After double-checking the temperature of the formula, he'd positioned her as both Val and the nurse in the hospital had snown him. Skylar had taken to the bottle with no trouble at all. When she'd finished her meal, he'd held her against his shoulder and patted her back until she'd let out an impressive burp. But since then, all she'd done was cry.

The harsh, hiccuping sound made him frantic. Did she have a temperature? Was she sick? Had he given her too much formula or not enough?

She drew in her breath and let out another sob. Her face was all scrunched up, with her eyes squeezed tightly closed and her tiny fists waving in the air.

"No one should be this unhappy," he murmered to her has he rocker her back and forth. In the past twenty minutes it felt as if her weight had doubled. He paced the length of the downstairs and wondered if he should just give up and page Val.

Before he could decide, the doorbell rang. He rushed to the foyer and pulled it open.

Nicole stood on the porch holding several plastic grocery bags. "I brought supplies," she said over the sound of Skylar's crying. "From the drugstore. Baby wash, diaper wipes, that wort of thing." She stepped into the entrance and glanced at Sky. "What's wrong?"

He resisted the urge to held out the screaming child to her to fix. "I don't know. When she woke up, she was fine. I fed her then burped her. I thought she'd go back to sleep."

Nicole crossed the kitchen where she set down her bags. "What about her diaper?"

"I checked it first."

Nicole began unpacking the bags. He clamped down on his frustration. How could she be so calm about this? Something could be seriously wrong with Sky. Didn't she want to recommend that he rust her to the emergency room?

"Did you check her diaper after you fed her?"

He blinked at the question. "After?"

She gave him a quick smile. "Sometimes babies go after they eat, rather than before. Sometimes they go both times. Have you checked her recently?"

Just then he caught the oder of something... something not pleasant. He swallowed. "Do I have to?"

"Oh yes. And before you think of passing that job off on me, I'll just go ahead and mention I have a lot more stuff in my car. I'll bring it in right now."

Brian stared at his daughter. "About this poop thing," he said. "I'm not up to it. Maybe you should just dispose of everything in liquid form. What do you think?"

She gave another cry, so he headed up the stairs. Two minutes later he had her on the changing table and was staring at something that looked like a prop out of an alien horror movie.

"What is it?" he asked when he heard Nicole's footsteps in the hall. "It's disgusting."

"It's something you're going to have to get used to." She poked her head into the bedroom and grinned. "It could be worse."

He looked up. "How?"

"She could be a boy. They are notorious for sending up a little shower while they're having their diaper changed."

"Great," he muttered returning his attention to his daughter. "There are too many firsts for me, sweet Sky. Bringing you home, your first bottle, now this first diaper. Things are moving too fast. Let's all just relax for a bit and catch up, okay?"

She'd stopped crying. He gently wiped her bottom, then collected a tiny new diaper and set it into place. Her gaze seemed to look at his face and as usual, her expression was faintly worried.

"I think she knows I'm clueless," he told Nicole. "She's got this look on her face as if she's sure I'm going to drop her or something."

"All babies do that." Nicole said, walking over and smiling down at Sky. "I heard your daddy call you by a name Sky. Do you like it?"

Sky responded by fluttering her eyelids a couple times, then dozing off.

"I'll take that as a yes," Nicole said.

He glanced at her and saw she carried an armful of supplies. He saw baby wash, baby shampoo, cotton balls and swabs, tiny washcloths and a host of other boxes and jars he didn't want to even think about. Babies required too much stuff as it was. How was he supposed to keep it all straight? What if he used the wrong product on the wrong part?

"Don't go there," she warned as he buttoned Skylar back into her sleeper.

"Go where?"

"You're getting nervous. I can see it in your eyes."

Her own eyes were a hazel brown, but this close he could see tiny flects of gold in the irises. They were wide and pretty, and perfectly set off by the fringe of bangs falling almost to her eyebrows. She didn't wear any make up that he could see. Even so, her lashes were long and thick, and her skin smooth.

He picked up Sky and held her in his arms. "I don't want to get it wrong."

Nicole nodded at the sleeping infant. "So far, so good. Why don't you set her down and I'll go put this stuff in her bathroom."

He watched as Nicole crossed the room and disappeared through the doorway, then he carefully set his daughter into her crib. She barely stirred as he pulled the comforter up to her chest, then checked the baby monitor. Nicole met him in the hall.

"I've put the bath supplies on the counter. For the next few months you'll be using a small baby tub and I wasn't sure if you'd like to do that in her room or downstairs in the kitchen sink."

"The kitchen sink? She's not a piece of zucchini."

Nicole grinned. "I know, but the sink is at least a decent hight. With the bathrub, you'll be all bent over."

"Oh. I hadn't thought of that." But then there were dozens of things he hadn't thought of yet. Like the baby monitor. He checked it to make sure it was turned on, then lead Nicole down to the family room.

There were more shopping bags waiting there. He stared at the pile. "Please tell me that everything comes with instructions," he said.

"Pretty much. And if it doesn't, you'll find out about it in the baby book I gave you. Or you can ask me while I'm here."

"Val's getting me a baby nurse," he said, hoping the nurse would arrive soon with about fifteen years of experience. "So I can ask her, as well."

"You're all covered."

He still felt like he was a non-swimmer who'd been thrown into the ocean, but he didn't tell her that. "Want something to drink?" he asked, walking into the kitchen and pulling open the refrigerator door. "I have different sodas."

"Anything diet?" she asked.

He glanced at her, at her long legs in a skirt that came just above her knees and the casual shirt she had covering her upper half. She was tall, athletic looking and very appealing.

"Sure," he said. "But tell me why?"

She glanced down at herself and laughed. "I'm not on a diet, if that's what you mean, but one of the reasons is I'm cautious about what I eat. I choose my calories carefully and to me, soda is a waste. So I prefer the low-cal version."

He made a face, but pulled out a can for her. When he reached for a glasss, she snagged the container from him. "I never bother," she said. "It just means something more to put in the dishwasher and something more to return to the cupboard."

"A woman after my own heart," he said, collecting a regualar cola drink for himself and following her back into the family room.

Nicole settled on one end of the sofa, while he took the other. Afternoon sunlight spilled into the room making her medium blond hair seem a little lighter. He'd only ever seen her with her hair pulled back into a ponytail for fastened up on her head. He wondered how long it was when it was loose and how it would look tumbling around her face.

The image produced instant heat inside of him. He realized then how distracted he'd been with Skylar. He'd been alone with Nicole several times in the past couple of days and hadn't been able to appreciate that she was funny, intelligent and easy on the eye. Not that he was interested in her that way. She was helping out and he was grateful. They were friends, nothing more. They had to be. For one thing, Nicole wasn't his type. For another, he had a child to think of now. He couldn't keep practicing his own version of serial monogamy. Sky would get confused.

He popped the top of his soda. "I almost forgot to ask," he said. "How was the delivery?"

Nicole sighed as her face took on a look of radiance. "It was great. Everything went perfectly." She paused. "The mother might take issue with that. After all, she spent several hours in labor. But the birth was smooth and easy on the baby. They had a healthy little boy and both parents are thrilled." She looked at him. "Usually when I deliver a child, I rarely get to see him or her again, so it's nice to be able to follow-up with one of my babies. Sky is doing very well."

"I hope so. She seems okay. I'm glad that Val is going to be her pediatrician."

"Nothing like having a doctor in the family?" Nicole asked.

"Exactly."

She leaned back against the sofa. "So how did you pick Skylar for her name?"

"Actually, I heard it off the streets once when I was walking around. I really liked the name so I thought that I'd call her Skylar. We could call her Sky, it's a little more contemporary, and it will be easier for her to spell."

"That's so nice." Nicole smiled. "So how's everything going with the album?"

"We should still make the dead-line. I'm doing my best to make sure that my part will be done on time."

"Didn't you almost lose the deal because there was a loss of funding?"

"It was dicey for a while," he admitted. "But we trusted our producer, he said he'd find the money so we hung on until the funds came through. Now it's just a matter of finishing up the work."

The phone rang. He reached for it and spoke into the receiver. "Hello?"

He listened as a man on the other end talked for a couple of minutes. Brian started laughing. "Yeah, I wish I could tell you otherwise, but they're mine." He paused and listened. "No, I appreciate you following up on them. Thanks." He hung up. "You're not going to believe who that was," he said.

"Tell me."

"My credit card complany. They wanted to confirm a very large charge to a baby store. Apparently that purchase didn't match my normal charging pattern and the computer flagged my account."

She laughed. "They'd better get used to that kind of thing with you. There's going to be lots more for you do buy."

"I don't want to think about it."

She picked up the teddy bear that Val and Matt and brought for Skylar. "Isn't he a charmer," she said, smoothing the soft fur around the stuffed animal's face. "Bears have always been my favorite."

Her expression turned wistful as she rubbed the animal's head.

"Tell me again why you don't have a dozen kids of your own," he asked impulsively.

Something dark and painful slipped across her eyes. Then she blinked and it was gone. "Interesting question for which I don't have an equally interesting answer," she said lightly. "But you're the important one right now. I want to know how you're feeling. Is the panic under control?"

"Seems to be," he said, recognizing that she was deliberately changing the subject but not she he should let her. Then he remembered that she was being kind enough to give up one of her weekeneds to help him with his daughter. He owed her. More importantly, her personal life was none of his buisness.

He glanced at his watch. "Hour four of having her home and all is well."

"I'm glad." She stood up. "I thought I could go to the grocery store. I'm guessing you don't have a lot of food in the house and it's not as if you can go out easily. Then I'm available to assist with the baby care. That is if you still want me to stay over."

"Are you kidding? I won't make it withough you."

She smiled. "Then what about making a list?"

But even as he went through his cupboards and figured out what he had and what he needed, he couldn't get those words out of his head. I won't make it without you. They'd both known what he meant when he said it. He was talking about Skylar and his lack of parental experience. Nothing more. but for a moment he wondered how his life would be different if he could for once allow himself to really need someone.