Brian Haner Jr

"Pretty Girl," Nicole Milenkovich said as she stared down at the squirming newborn she held. "You look so worried, but I promise you that we grown-ups know how to take care of you."

Taylor, one of the obsterics nurses, stroked the infant's cheeck. "You tell her, Dr. Milenkovich. But I don't think its going to help. I've been watching babies being born for over twenty years and everyone of them had that worried look."

"Its our job to reassure them." Nicole gave Baby Frase a last smile, then reluctantly handed her over to Taylor. The competent nurse would take her over to the nursery where, for the next couple of days she would receive excellent care. As for what would happen after that, who could say. The child was being given up for adoption.

Nicole had long since learned that it wasn't her place to judge her paitents and their non-medical decisions. Even so she couldn't help but glance at the weary woment about to be wheeled into her room.

"Are you sure you don't want to see your daughter?" She asked one last time.

Lily Frase, a platinum blonde who managed to look stunning even after giving birth, rolled her eyes. "Get over it, Doc. I know you were hoping that I would get bitten by the maternal bug when the kid popped out, but its not going to happen. I signed the papers a long time ago and I haven't changed my mind. In less then two weeks, I'm heading to L.A. and I'm not coming back. I plan to live in the land of sun and movie stars. The last thing I want in my life is some kid messing everything up."

"I understand," Nicole said politely, even though she didn't. Lily was a grown women with options. How could she turn down her own child?

"I appreciate everything you did," Lily told her "You're good at this."

"Its my job," Nicold said lightly then slipped off her gloves, "I'll be in to check on you in a few hours. Just to make sure everything is fine. But based on the delivery, your going to heal quickly."

Lily gavea little wave as the nurse wheeled her out of the delivery room. Nicold followed more slowly. She thought about the paitents she still had to see that day, and about those who would soon be giving birth. Most of her paitents were thrilled to be pregnant and anxiously awaited the birth of their new baby. But occasionally she had one like Lily-a woment to whom giving birth was an inconvenience.

It wasn't that she didn't understand Lily. In some ways she understood too well. Maybe thats what got to her. Maybe Lily's situation reminded her too much of her own shortcomings.

Knowing that she should head back to her office, Nicole walked toward the elevator. But instead of pushing the button for the ground floor, she found herself heading over to the nursery. She told herself that she just wanted to quickly check on Baby Frase. A complete lie, because the pediatrician on duty wouldn't have finished examining her yet.

Reguardless of her reasons, twenty minutes later Nicole stood infront of the glass-enclosed nursery. Nearly dozens of babies slept or squirmed in their soft blankets. Pink and blue hats clearly defined their gender.

She could see through the opposite wall where a man stood with his arm wrapped around a young women in a bathrobe. They were both pointing and smiling at a tiny child. The women wasn't Nicole's paitent, but she reconized the slightly stunned glow. Their child had been the couple's first, she thought. As new parents, they were equal parts thrilled and terrified. She knew over time, love and joy would replace terror, right up until their baby became a teenager, at which point they would want to pull their hair out.

The thought made her smile. She pressed her hand against the glass and studied the tiny infants. She found three that she delivered in the past twenty-four hours, then watched as one of the nurses put Baby Frase into her isolette.

"Let it go," She murmered to herself, knowing there was no point in getting upset or attached. Lily Frase had made her decision, as was her right. The beautiful baby girl would be given up for adoption. Its not as if she, Nicole, had done any better.

But I was only seventeen, a voice inside her head whispered. Didn't that make a difference? Nicole wasn't sure anymore. Maybe she'd never be sure.

"Dr. Milenkovich?"

The low male voice broke through her musings and she turned to face the man who came up to stand beside her.

The over head lights were bright in the hallway. Even so Nicole blinked several times to make sure she was really seeing who she thought she saw. Brian Haner Jr.

She thoughts about cursing him, or simply walking away. She thought about giving him a piece of her mind, then reminded herself it wasn't her buisness. She was Lily's doctor, nothing else. Still, for once, she was grateful for her five feet six inch height and the fact that she'd changed out of scrubs and back into a skirt, blouse and heels. With them she could look Mr. Haner in the eye... or almost. He was a still a little bit taller.

She wondered how he knew her name, then figured it wouldn't have been difficult to track her down. From what Lily told her, she and Brian wern't an item anymore but that didn't mean the couple didn't talk. After all, they'd just brought a child into the world.

Nicole fought against the anger rising inside of her. So what if Brian Haner was an irresponsible bastard? She could be courteous for a few minutes.

"I'm Dr. Milenkovich," She said.

"Brian Haner."

she was afraid he was going to hold out his hand for her to shake, but he did't. Instead he shoved them into his jsweatshirt pockets and blew out a deep breath.

"I've been looking for you all over," He admitted. "Now that you're here, I don't know what to say."

"I See." She glanced it her watch. It was nearly noon. Her morning paitents would have been rescheduled, but she still had afternoon appointments. "Perhaps when you think of it you can call my office and we'll-"

"No." He grabbed her arm before she could step away. Even through her temper she felt a quick jolt of... something...as his fingers closed around her. Was it heat? Was it-

Don't even think about that, she told herself angrily. How dare her body react in a favorable way towards this man? He was slime. He was lower then slime. He was the single celled creature fifteen million years away evolving into slime.

"I need to talk to you about the baby." He gestured to the nursery behind them. "I..." He released her. "I want to know what Lily had. I asked at the desk, but because she already signed the adoption papers the're not giving out information."

He looked tired, Nicole thought irrelevantly. Shadows pooled under his impossibly brown eyes. Haner Brown, she'd heard a coupld of nurses saying a while back. Yeah, he was good-looking. So what? He was still slime.

"I don't understand why anything about the baby is important to you, Mr. Haner," Nicole said crisply. "Once you sign the release forms, the child ceases to be your responsibility."

"Thats the thing," he said. "I haven't signed them. I'm not sure if I can."

Nicole didn't know if she could have been more surprised if he'd started yapping like a poodle. She felt her mouth drop open, but she couldn't seem to draw her jaw backinto place. "What?"

Brian blanced over his shoulder, then waved toward the corridor. "Is there somewhere we can go to talk for a minute? I'm sorry if I seem out of it, but I haven't had much sleep in the past few weeks. Between the hours I've been working and thinking about the baby, I've been pacing more then I've been sleeping.

She pressed her lips together. Brian Haner had to be playing some kind of game. A man in his position would never consent to raise a child alone. Still, he'd captured her attention, so she decided to hear him out.

"There are a couple of consultation rooms just down here," She said leading the way.

They turned left at the nurse's station and paused at Nicold checked the first room. It was unoccupied. She entered, then waited for Brian to follow her before closing the door.

The room was small, maybe eight by eight, with a desk and three chairs. She moved around Brian and settled into the single chair beind the desk, then motioned for him to take one of the remaining seats. He glanced at it, then shook his head and paced from the door to the wall, it took him all of three steps.

"The thing is, I know its crazy," he began, not look at at her but instead staring at the floor. "The band is coming out with a new cd."

The comment seemed irrelevant until Nicole remembered that Brian Haner was in a band called Avenged Sevenfold. They had supposidly been working on a new album for months. "Actually, I've noticed that."

"Really?"

He glanced at her, and she was again caught up in the realization that his eyes were really a very chocolate brown. Forget it, she told herself firmly. Ignore the man, listen to the words.

"Then you probably know that my band is in charge of the studio mixes and tracks. Its a huge project, involving thousands of hours, not to mention the vocals and guitars, bass and drum recordings all seperately. Then supplying the funding and a producer."

Nicold nodded. For a time it seemed like the band wasn't even working on the new album. According to Matt Sanders, Brian's best friend it seemed as if they were trying to pull off a miricle.

"Now we're playing catch-up," Brian continued. "I rarely see my house. We're going to leave for tour after the album is complete so everything is going to be hectic. So I don't have time for a child in my life. Certainly not a baby.

Nicole leaned back against the chair and worked hard to keep her face impassive. So he hadn't been asking about the child at all, she thought grimly. He only wanted to talk to her so he could explain his case to someone-anyone. He wanted to make excuses. She waited for the anger to return, but it was gone-transformed into a sadness she wasn't sure she could explain.

There were so many hopeful couples wanting to adopt infants. Baby Frase would be placed with a loving family. She might grow up with every advantage. It probably was best for everyone. Nicole drew in a breath. If only she could let this go. Why was this child getting to her?

"Mr. Haner, you don't have to explain this to me, and frankly I'm not interested in your reasons for giving up your child for adoption."

"But thats my point," he said "I can't do it. I can't give him up." He pulled a a thick sheath of papers from his back pocket and dropped them on the desk. "Lily and I talked about this and we both agreed it was the best thing. Shes got a job waiting for her in L.A. and I've got a busy life here. Adoption makes sense."

Nicole picked up the sheets and flipped through them. Lily had carefully signed away all her rights to the child, but the space for Brian's signature was blank.

"What do you think?" he asked.

She glanced up and saw that Brian had braced his hands on the back of one of the chairs and was leaning toward her. His dark hair fell over his forehead. He wasn't the usual kind of man who populated her day. Most of them were other doctors or husbands of paitents. She saw more suits than jeans and sweatshirts. Brian might be part of Avenged Sevenfold, but he obviously didn't mind getting his hands dirty. She could see calluses on his fingers and there were thick muscles bulging in his upper arms and chest. She nearly matched him in height, but he had to outweight her by forty pounds, all of them muscle.

"What do I think about what?" She asked.

"What should I do? Should I sign the papers?"

"I can't answer that for you. We're talking about a child, Mr. Haner. This isn't a decision to be made lightly. Your daughter's future is at stake."

His eyes widened and a grin split his face. If she'd thought he was good-looking before, he was amazingly handsome now. That smile could cause a women to stumble at fifty paces, she thought refusing to soften towards him.

"A girl!" He sank into the chair, then rubbed his eyes. "Damn. Like I know anything about women."

"You know enough to get one of them pregnant." Nicole regretted the words as soon as they passed her lips. She sighed. "Sorry. I didn't mean to say that."

"Don't appologize. You've got a point." He leaned forward. "Is she okay? Ten fingers and toes?"

Nicole smiled. "Shes perfect. A real beauty. Her Apgar score was a nine at one minute and a ten at five minutes." When Brian looked blank, Nicold explained. "We check newborns for several characteristics right after birth. Their heart rate, whether they are crying, moving around, that sort of thing. Your daughter scored very high. There's everything indication that shes healthy and normal.

"A girl," he said, his voice filled with awe.

"Jeez. I feel like that changes everything, but I'm not sure it does." He looked at her. "Tell me that the adoption is the best thing. Tell me that I have no buisness trying to raise a kid on my own. When would I find the time? Tell me I don't know the first thing about babies or children."

"No one can make the decision but you, Mr. Haner."

Brian nodded. He'd been hoping for a little guidence from Lily's doctor, but Nicole Milenkovich wasn't going to be much help there. Based on the look she'd given him when he first approached her, she wasn't very pleased with him at all. He wondered if her anger was at him specifically or men in general. Or maybe she didn't like men who welched on their commitments and responsibilities. Could he blame her for that?

"I want to see her," he said. "My daughter, I mean, no Lily. If I haven't signed the papers, can I do that?"

Some of the tension left Nicole's face. Her full lips curved up in a sweet smile. "I can do better then that, Mr. Haner. I can let you hold her."