Brian Haner Jr

Brian clutched the handle of the baby carrier so hard, he was afraid he might crack the plastic. This was fine, he told himself. There was nothing to worry about. Except he was worried.

He stared around the brightly colored wating area of the medical office. A parade of animals danced across the walls. There were child-sized chairs, as well as those designed for adults, and a collection of toys in the corner. Nothing to fear. So why was there a knot the size of a basketball sitting in the botton of his stomach?

The office door opened and Nicole walked in. She wore tailored dark slacks and a fitted soft-looking sweater that hugged her curves. The swell of her breats was nearly enough to take his mind of the panic. Nearly...but not completely.

"Sorry I'm late," she said. "I was running behind with my patients and..." She took one look at him and laughed. "Relax, Brian. Sky is the one getting the examination, not you."

"I wish it was me," he said glumly. "What if there's something wrong? What if she's sick? What if-"
"Stop!" Nicole said. She tok the baby carrier from him and glanced down. As usual, Sky was sound asleep, apparently unaware of her father's concern. Nicole took a seat and patted the cushion next to her.

"You could take a lesson from your caught," she said. "Now sit down and take a deep breath."

He glared at her, then perched on the edge of the sofa. "You're not taking this seriously."

"Of course I am. Sky is here to see her doctor. She's one month old and it's time for her first well-baby visit. There is every indication that she's a normal, healthy, thriving infant. If there is a problem, better to catch it early. Val is a great doctor. You know that."

"I know." He shifted on the sofa. "Sorry. I know I'm acting crazy."

"You're acting like a worried parent, but in this case, there is no reason to be."

"You're right." He studied her. "Thanks for being here with me. I hadn't really intended for you to take time off work to hold my hand."

She smiled. "Oh, please. That was exactly your intention. No way you would have survived this on your own."

The office door opened again and a mother with a young boy walked in. While the woman went to the glass parition of the reception desk to sign them in, the boy walked over and stared at Sky.

"What's her name?" he asked.

"Skylar," Brian told him.

"I'm Jordan." He held out his hand. There were several tiny stitches along the side of his indes finger and across his palm. "Aiden and I were playing with a broken bottle and we got cut. I'm better now, but playing with a broken bottle is bad."

Nicole smiled at the boy. He couldn't be more than five or six. She scooted forward and stared at the stitched, then pointed to a thin, pale line on her own hand.

"That exact thing happened to me," she said. "I was about your age."

Jordan's blue eyes widened. "Did you have to get stitches, too?"

"I sure did. I cried and cried. I was very sorry I'd ever picked up that piece of glass and I never did it again."

"I didn't cry," Jordan said. Then he glanced at his mom and shrugged. "Well, I did a little."

Brian found himself caught up in the conversation. Nicole was so easy and natural with the little boy. It was as if she'd known him for years, instead of just a few minutes. When Jordan's mother came over to collect him, she smiled an apology.

"Sorry. He's a talker."

"He's very sweet," Nicole told the woman.

It made no sense. Brian thoght. Why on earth hadn't some guy snatched Nicole up before now? She was a prize. Not only was she bright and successful, she had the most givng heart he'd ever seen.

She was different from the kind of woman he usually found himself attracted to. He would bet a month's paycheck that she didn't for the trashy lingerie, nor did se wear much makeup. But he was starting to see the appeal of the natural look, not to mention the fact that thoughts of Nicole in plain cotton had kept him up more than one night.

"What a cutie," Nicole said when Jordan's mother had led him to the other side of the waiting room where they'd started on a puzzle.

"You're great with kids. Why didn't you become a pediatrician?"

She didn't say anything, nor did her body language change, but Brian could tell she'd shut him out as surely as if she'd started building a brick wall between them.

"What?" he asked. "What's wrong? What did I say?"

"Nothing."

"Nicole, don't. Why are you so upset?"

"I'm not."

But her gaze would avoid his. Then, before he could pursue the matter, a nurse opened the door leading to the examining rooms. "Skylar Haner?"

"That's us," Brian said. He took the carrier from Nicole and stood up.

"It's just through here," the nurse said. She let them into another brightly colored room, this one with a small examining table and too much medical equiment for Brian to ever be comfortable. the knot in his stomach doubled in size.

"Hi," Val said as she entered. Se wore a white coat over scrubs. "Don't say it. I'm a mess. My first appointment of the day threw up on me, and I haven't had time to go home and get a change of clothes. I normally keep a spare set here, but they got thrown up on last week and I haven't brought them back. How's Sky?"

"Great," Brian said. "I'm sure there's nothing wrong."

"I'm sure, too," Val said, her voice reassuring. "I know the first couple of baby visits are nerveracking on you new parents, but it will get better."

Nicole leaned against the door. "Speaking of nerves, how are you holding up?"

Val wrinkled her now. "You mean given the fact that Matt and I are leaving tomorrow to get married?" She held up her hand to show it was steady. "I'm nervous, but only on the inside. I can't believe we're doing this. I'm incredibly happy and scared. But more happy than scared. I know it's the right thing. I love him and we're going to have a great life together."

"That's what you have to focus on," Nicole said. "Remember that he's the man you love and you'll be fine."

"Exactly," Val said. "Besides, all I have to say is 'I do' right? How hard can that be?"

The two women laughed, but Brian didn't join in. He was too busy thinking, once again, that Matthad gotten lucky with the woman that he'd chosen. Val and Matt were going to have a great life together. Matt made it look so easy, first with his ex-fiance and now with Val. How did he do that? How did he know when it was right? How did he know that it was all okay to commit himself to a particular woman?

Not that it mattered, Brian told himself. He wasn't the marrying kind. And even if he was, there weren't any likely canidates around.

His gaze settled on Nicole. He already knew that she was a prize. He also knew that she was out of his league. So there was no point in wishing for what he could have.

Words to live by, he told himself. Words he'd repeated more than once. Words that suddenly didn't seem to ring so true.