Brian Haner Jr

"I can't believe I"m so nervous," Val said as she refolded a cream lace and silk nightgown for the third time. "I guess it's because, well, you know."

Nicole and Alex exchanged a look. "I could be wrong," Alex said, her voice teasing, "but it might be because you're getting married. What do you think, Nicole?"

"Sounds like a good reason to me," Nicole told her. "Did you get any sleep at all?"

Val sank onto the bed and covered her face with her hands. "No. I was determined to spend last night here." She motioned to the beautifully decorated bedroom of her newly remodeled condo. "I wanted to preserve some traditions, like not seeing the groom too much before the wedding. But I'm so used to staying at the gathouse at Matt's that my bed felt unfamiliar. Plus I missed him."

She dropped her hands to her lap. "I guess some of it is because I've never gotten married before. What if I don't like it?"

Nicole rolled here eyes. "You're crazy about the guy and even more crazy about his son. What's not to like?"

"You're right. I can't imagine not being with him. Matt is the man I've been waiting for all my life."

"Are you sorry you're not having a big wedding?" Alex asked. She dropped Val's makeup bag into the open suitcase on the bed, then settled next to it.

"Absolutely not." Val shuddered. "Neither of us wanted the hassle. He's dealing with the album, I have my practice. When would we find the time?" She pressed her hand to her stomach. "Not to mention the fact that I'm pregnant."

Nicole leaned back in the chair by the window. "As your doctor, I'm not even sure what to say about that. I carefully hand out condoms at every visit, but did that help? Noooo. I can see I'm going to have to be more detailed with my explanations and inform my patients that it's not enough to have them in the house. Instead, they actually have to be used."

"I know." Val hung her head for a second, then glanced up, grinning. "But I can't be sorry. I'm thrilled about the baby."

Nicole turned her attention to Alex. "What about you? Do we have to have this talk?"

Alex raised her hands in a gesture of surrender. "I'm not having sex, so it's not an issue."

"Just remember if you do, safety is important."

"Yes, Mom."

The three women laughed.

Val stood up. "I need to finish packing, then I'm checking my makeup. Other than that, I think I'm ready." She'd already pinned her bright blond hair into a french twist. Subtle make-up accentuated her green eyes.

"Are you wearing your wedding suit on the plane?" Alex asked.

"No. I'll change there." Val walked to the closet and removed a white suit protected by a clear plastic. She held it in front of her. "What do you think?"

"It's wonderful," Nicole said as she took in the sophisticated suit with a short skirt and fitted jacker. As much as she teased her friend about being pregnant, the reality was Val was only two-and-a-half months along and barely showed. The tailored suit, simple but elegant, would show off her figure perfectly. "Is that as low cut as it looks?"

Faint color stained Val's cheeks. "Yeah. I thought I'd distract Matt during the ceremony. You know, in case he's a little nervous."

"A woman with a plan," Alex said. "Very clever."

Val carefully placed the suit into her luggage. "I think that's the last of it." She glanced around the room. "Okay, so all that's left is Kyle. Are you going to be all right with him, Nicole?"

Nicole grinned. I swear we'll be fine." She began ticking off points on her fingers. "Kyle is still in school. The baby-sitter will pick him up when he gets out. She'll stay with him until I get there. My last appointment is at four." Nicole paused to glance at her watch. It was about twelve thirty now. She and Alex had both used their lunch breaks to stop by and with Val luck.

"The sitter can stay late tonight if you get hung up with an emergency," Val told her.

"I don't think that's going to happen. This isn't my weekend on call." Nicole smiled. "One of the reasons I wanted to go into a larger practice was to have the occasional weekend off. So once I leave the office, I'll be with Kyle until you and Matt return, all married and happy."

"I appreciate you helping out like this," Val said. "I don't know what Matt and I would have done without you. Brian thinks he could handle Sky and Kyle, but we all know that's wishful thinking on his part."

Nicole waved aside her thanks. "I'm happy to do it." If anything, the weekend was going to be a lot of fun. She enjoyed being around children, and Brian had promised to stay at te house, as well. She didn't want to admit to anyone, least of all herself, how her heart beat faster when he was around.

Val glanced at her suitcase. "I think that's everything. I just want to-"

A loud honk interruped her. She froze. "Oh, no. It's the cab. I have to go. I'm not ready."

Alex stood up and patted her shoulder. "Don't panic. You're completely prepared. You have your wedding dress, your shoes and your makeup. Oh, and this." She fingered the lacy strap of Val's nightgown. "Nothing else matters."

R
"I know, but I think I want to scream anyways."

Nicole picked up her purse and Val's overnight bag while Alex closed the larger suitcase. Val did a quick once-over of the room, then the three of them headed for the front door.

On the small porth they hugged. "Have a wonderful wedding," Nicole said. "I have the phone nubmers if anything happens, but remember that no news is good news. Just enjoy yourselves."

"Ditto what she said," Alex told Val. "Take deep breaths. You're going to be very happy with Matt. Enjoy your time together."

"I will." Val waited while the cab driver loaded her luggage into the trunk, then she slid to the back seat.

Alex and Nicole stood watching her until the cab rounded a corner and Val was lost from sight.

Nicole sighed. "She's going to be a beautiful bride. I hope they remember to take pictures."

"Me, too. Speaking of beautiful, Sam's baby is a charmer." Alex said referring to her house guest's new infant. "I thought I was happy with one child, but I have to tel you that having a newborn in the house is giving me second thoughts."

The two women started toward their cars parked at the curb.

"What about you," Alex said. "Any second thoughts?"

"I'm not sure what you mean."

Alex paused by her car. "Something's different, Nicole, and I'm not sure what it is. Is it being around Brian's daughter? I know you're spending alot of time at his house. Are you having thoughts about children of your own?"

Nicoel drew in a breath. "My thoughts aren't that organized. I'm just...I don't know. Restless maybe." She pulled on her purse strap, securing it in her shoulder. "Are you happy?" she asked. "With your life, I mean?"

"Yes," Alex answered slowly. "I have a great life. I love my work. It's fulfilling in more ways than I'd thought possible. I love Tyler, who is the joy of my world." She smiled. "To be honest, I have too many houseguests to ever worry about being lonely."

"Is that enough?"

Alex didn't look surprised. "Isn't it?"

"I don't know. I'm just rambling," nicole admitted. "But I can't help thinking about the fact that you spend all your free time with your four-year-old son and whomever is currently livnig in your guestroom. Right now it's Sam and her newborn. We're talking about a teenage girl. I was just wondering if you kept your life so full because then there isn't room for a man."

Alex pressed her lips together. "Ouch. You don't believe in subtle, do you?"

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be critical. I'm wondering aloud because I"m thinking these same thoughts myself."

"I know what you're saying," Alex told her, "but I've done the man in my life bit, and it'snot al it's cracked up to be. I like being on my own."

"I do, too," Nicole said, but she couldn't help thinking that at times her life was a cold and empty place. Sometimes she wanted someone else to share things with. Someone she could depend on. Someone she oculd love who would love her back.

"not to change the subject, but I have to get back to work," Alex said, glancing at her watch. "Are we still on for Sunday?"

"Absolutely. Kyle would kill me if we didn't meet you there." Kyle, was best friends with Alex's son, Tyler. She and Alex had made arrangements to meet at a local pizza place for an afternoon of junk food and video games.

"I've got to run, too," Nicole said. "See you on Sunday. About two, okay?"

"Perfect." Alex called out a quick good-bye, then got into her car.

Nicole followed more slowly. As she pulled out onto the street, she couldn't help thinking about what Alex had said about men. That they didn't live up to their hype. Nicole couldn't offer an opinion on that subject because she didn't have enough experience. Since high school, she'd gone out of her way to shut men out of her life. During college and medical school, she'd had lots of male friends, but no emotionally significant relationships. The question was why?

No one had really hurt her, not unless she counted her father's disappointment. Her high school boyfriend had dumped her when he'd found out she was pregnant, but while she'd been disappointed, she hadn't been devastated. She liked men. She thought many were attractive. There were times when she though about making love with a certian man and she found herself feeling desire. So why turn her back on that part of her life?

She didn't have any answers, and then she found herself suddenly thinking about Brian. She was attracted to the man- no question about that. She wanted to dismiss those feeling by saying he wasn't her type, except she didn't have a type. He was good-looking and while that was a nice plus, it wasn't the reason she found him appealing. Most of it was the man himself. How was she supposed to resist him when he was so devoted to his daughter? And easy to be with. And funny. And caring.

She sighed. So if Brian Haner Jr. was so all-fired perfect, why wasn't he married? Or why wasn't there a line of women camped outside his house? Was it htem, or was it him? Or was it something in his past...something she didn't know about?

So many secrets, Nicole thought. Even though the past was long over, it had a way of hanging around and influencing the present. She knew she was dealing with some issues of her own. Yesterday, when she and Brian had been in Val's wating room and he'd made a comment about her being so good with kids, she'd felt as if he'd ripped her heart out. It hadn't been his fault, of course. He had no way of knowing how muhc she'd wanted to be a pediatrician. It had been all she wanted shen she was a young girl. Except it hadn't worked out that way.

Nicole turned the corner and headed toward her office. As she drove, she tried to figure out what had gone wrong. From the first day she'd entered medical school, every time she stepped into a hospital and had seen a young girl, she'd thought about her daughter...the child she'd given up for adoption. She wondered about the girl, abut her parents. Eventually the guilt and pain grew to be too much. She decided that she didn't deserve to work with children, so she'd chosen something else. Something that allowed her to be around babies.

"It's not second best," she murmered to herself as she pulled into her parking space. Except she wasn't sure to believe the words. Not that it mattered. It was too late to change now. Sometimes it was important to stand by one's choices, and she knew in her heart that this was one of those times.