Brian Haner Jr

The cab stopped in front of a pale-white house. As with most residential buildings in San Francisco, this was taller and longer than it was wide. Shed barely had time to step out onto the sidewalk before the front door opened and an older couple came out to greet her.

Nicole, the silver-haired slender woman said, running lightly down the walkway, her arms open. Its so good to see you. She enfolded Nicole with a warm hug. You promised to come visit again, but I didnt think it would take this long to get you back.

Ive been busy, Nicole said.

Were all busy, Mary Park told her with a smile. Life has a way of moving too fast. But youre here now and thats all that matters.

She urged Nicole up the stairs, at the top of which Nicole received an even bigger hug from Marys husband, Dennis. He was a portly man with thinning hair and a smile that brightened a room.

Youre still beautiful as ever, he told her ushering her inside the lovely home. Thos big eyes are just like Jenna Roses. Shes a lucky girl to take after her mother.

Thank you, Nicole said, feeling both welcomed and awkward.

Mary read her thoughts in an instant. None of that, she said, patting Nicoles hand. Were all family. Ill admit its a little complicated, but that doesnt change the connection. Mary smiled at her. And its so good to see you again.

They took Nicole into their living room, a spacious area decorated in green and burgundy. Lush plants grew from pots and hanging baskets. The sofa was large and comfortable. As Nicole took a seat, she saw that Mary had already prepared a pot of tea and several plates of sandwiches and cookies. Mary firmly believed in feeding someones troubles, a philosophy that didnt match her girlish figure.

Mary settled next to her while Dennis took a wing chair to her right. How are things with your practice? Mary asked as she poured three cups of tea.

Im very busy right now. I delivered twins yesterday. A boy and a girl. The babies are healthy and the parents are thrilled, if a little overwhelmed.

Twins. Dennis shook his head. Im grateful we had our three one by one.

Me, too. Mary laughed. It was hard enough to have all of them in diapers at the same time.

They chatted a little more about Nicoles practice, then Mary changed the subject. We told Sara youd called. She thought about meeting you this time, but the idea still makes her nervous.

I understand. Nicole didnt tell either of them but she was secretly grateful that her daughters adoptive mother had stayed away. She wasnt sure she could have handled that meeting right now.

Mary placed her hand on Nicoles forearm. Jenna is a wonderful child. Most of the time shes eight going on twenty, but shes still a little girl about some things.

There was a folder next to the tea tray. Mary opened it and handed Nicole a school photo. A blond, blue-eyed child stared back at her. As Dennis had mentioned, Jennas eyes were shaped like Nicoles although she got the color from her father. Nicole recognized her smile on the girl, and her hair. She, too, had been blonder when shed been younger.

So many things were familiar and an equal number strange. Nicole traced the phone and knew that if she and Jenna walked down a street together, no one would have trouble placing them as mother and daughter.

Shes doing well in school, Mary said. Good grades and shes popular. Shes not dating yet, but that day is coming. Were all terrified, she added with a laugh. Boys and hormones. I remember what it was like when Denny and I went through that with our brood.

Nicole couldnt relate to that, but she knew what shed been like as a teenager.

She likes science, Dennis put in. He smiled at Nicole. She wants to be a vet. That commitment to medicine must run in the family.

Does she know Im a doctor? Nicole asked.

Mary nodded. Denny and I have told her. Sara doesnt like to talk about you very much, but weve always been available to answer Jennas questions. Mary glanced at her husband. They exchanged an unspoken message.

I think Jenna will want to meet you in a few years, Dennis said. Saras not going to take it well, so that might delay things, but your daughter is open to the idea.

Nicole didnt know whether to cry or hug these two very special people. From the very beginning, Dennis and Mary had included her as part of Jennas family. They sent regular updates on her progress and even included pictures. Their daughter, Sara, had been unable to conceive, so she and her husband had decided to adopt. But Sara had never been able to face the birth mother of her adored only child. Instead, Dennis and Mary were Nicoles connection. They even referred to Jenna as her daughter. As if she had the right to lay some claim to the child shed given up at birth.

Mary sorted through dozens more pictures, showing them all to Nicole, letting her pick a couple to take home. Eventually Dennis excused himself and the two women were alone.

Its always lovely to see you, Mary said. But Im wondering why you came here today.

Nicole sighed. Im not completely sure I have an answer to that. She admitted. She looked around the beautifully furnished room. There were framed pictures crowded together above the fireplace and on small occasional tables. Nicole could see Dennis and Marys three, along with the next generation of children. All the pictures were tangible proof that this family prided itself on loving one another.

Sometimes I just need to be sure that I did the right thing, she said at last. Ive been thinking about the adoption a lot lately and I cant help wondering if I was selfish to give up my daughter.

She looked at Mary. Please dont think this is anything about trying to get her back. I would never do that.

I know, my dear. Mary patted her arm again. I have just to see you in pain. Why do you doubt your decision?

Because- Nicole faltered. Because I wonder if I should have tried harder. To keep her, I mean. To make it work.

Mary gestured to the pictures in the room. Jenna was the most significant gift anyone has ever given this family. You brought my daughter joy. Until she held your baby in her arms, Id begun to fear for her life. Shed been depressed for over a year. All she ever wanted was to be a mother and that was the only thing her body wouldnt let her be. You and Jenna saved her. For that I will always be grateful. You werent selfish, Nicole. You were wise and brave beyond your years.

Nicole wanted to believe her. I didnt feel very brave. I was afraid.

Answer me this. Are you a good doctor?

Nicole nodded. Yes. I work hard for my patients and I care about them.

So you gave first with your daughter, and now with your choice of career. Youre a good person. We can all understand why you did what you did. I suspect you would understand these circumstances in another young womans life. You would offer her compassion and support. Perhaps its time to offer the same to yourself.

Marys words hit home, but not in the way the other woman had intended. Nicole remembered her conversation with Corina, and how shed rushed off before reassuring the young woman. Corinas situation was too much like her own for her to be comfortable. Nicole realized that was one time she hadnt been a good doctor.

Let go, Mary told her. Be happy. Find some young man and fall in love. Have more babies, babies that will grow up to be as wonderful as Jenna. Tears filled Marys eyes. Every time I hold that beautiful girl, Im thankful to you. And Im grateful to know my granddaughter has such a warm, caring person for her birth mother.

Nicole leaned into Marys embrace. She let herself absorb the other womans comforting words. Maybe Mary was right. Maybe it was time to forgive herself and move on.