Brian Haner Jr

Brian hesitated outside his front door. Every instinct screamed at him not to go in.

You gotta do it, Brian, Jimmy said. Its not so bad.

Brian glared at the drummer. How do you know? Have you done this before?

Jimmy shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. No, and if Id kept my big mouth shut, this wouldnt be happening now. But I had to go and mention it to Ali. She got all excited and said she wanted to come, too. He snorted. As if I would have done this without her.

Brian completely understood the other mans reluctance. Sure Jimmy was with him, and Matt had promised to drop by. Probably just to laugh, Brian thought grimly. But Nicole had insisted so there was no point in putting off the inevitable.

Brian sucked in a deep breath and pushed open his front door. At that moment, a gale of female laughter drifted through the house. He shuddered and stepped inside.

The living room was as hed left it that morning. Still half finished and empty of furniture. But the family room was a different matter. Chairs from the dining room had been pulled in beside the sofas, forming a rough circle. Pink and white streamers fell from the ceiling, while matching balloons had been gathered in bunches and tied to chairs, windows sashes and even the refrigerator handle. A dinner buffet covered the counter closet to the family room and he could see the large cake waiting in the dining room. Piles of presents stood by one of the few empty chairs left. Nearly two dozen laughing, talking women sat in the remaining chairs on the sofa.

If hell was a baby store then purgatory was a baby shower. Why had he let himself be talked into this?

Brian swallowed hard and thought about retreating. So far no one had seen him. He could make a clean escape and call from his car, claiming a work crisis kept him from attending. But before he could take even one step back, Nicole glanced up and saw him. Then she smiled.

He hadnt seen much of her in the past week. First shed taken her trip to San Francisco to visit her daughters adoptive grandparents. Then shed had a couple of emergencies. Hed had a crisis or two of his own while theyd spoken on the phone; they hadnt had the chance to spend any time together since Sunday night.

Just seeing her sitting there, her wide eyes bright with humor, her smooth skin begging to be touched, he wanted her. Not just for sex, but also for conversation and even to hold. Hed missed her.

Brian! she called. Youre finally here. We were beginning to wonder.

All the women turned to look at him. He recognized several of Nicoles female employees. There was Nicole, of course, and Val and Alex, along with wives of some of his friends. Jimmy made his way to the side of a petite brunette in a business suit.

Brian gave a general wave and walked to the waiting chair next to Nicole. He couldnt remember a time when hed been more uncomfortable.

Isnt this great? Nicole asked as he sat down. Everyone came.

Great. Wheres Sky?

Napping. She was up a little bit ago and was hit with your guests.

He wanted to point out that the guests were hers, along with the idea of a baby show. Why on earth had he agreed?

We were about the start the games, Val said. Would you like something to drink first?

Games? What kind of games?

Val grinned. Nothing all that tough. Youll be fine. Why dont I getyou some punch?

As she stood up and started walking toward the kitchen. Brian had his first chance to notice that the women were eating and drinking. As he id so, his mouth turned down in an involuntary grimace. Everything was pink. The punch, the salad accompanying the small sandwiches, even the cookies. Now that he thought about it, the cake had been pink, too. Or the icing had been. He didnt care think about what it would like like when they cut it open.

He leaned toward Nicole. If Id had a son, would everything be blue?

Of course. She smiled. Normally the baby shower occurs before the blessed event, so the sex of the child is unknown. But when the shower comes later, or the parents already know the sex, the shower theme reflects that. She patted his hand. Dont worry. Youre going to have a great time. First well play a few games, then you can open presents.

I cant wait, he muttered. What about the cake?

Oh, well do that while youre opening the presents.

What he really wanted to know was when everyone would be going home. After all, this thing couldnt go on too late, could it? He wanted to spend some time alone with Nicole. He wanted to sit with her and talk, then he wanted to take her upstairs and make love with her.

The front door opened and Matt walked in. Over here, Brian called, felling the tiniest bit rescued from the situation. Youre just in time for the games.

Matt looked as puzzled as he had at the mention of games. Then his friend glanced around the room and started to laugh.

Dont get too superior about the whole situation, Val told him. When our baby is due, I plan to have a couples shower. That means women and men attend.

Brian chuckled. Im glad I wont be the only one going through this, he said, then had to fight back a groan when Val handed him a plastic cup filled with bright pink, foamy punch.

It tastes better than it looks, Nicole said. She waited until Val had settled back on the sofa and everyone had moved over to make room for Matt. Lets get started. She stood up and walked into the kitchen.

There are several pads of paper on the coffee table. Take one and pass the rest along until everyone has one. Were going to play the first game. She returned carrying a large tray covered by a dish towel.

Tonight she wore her hair up in a twist of some kind. Her long bangs hung to her eyebrows. She didnt go in for makeup but something shiny stained her lips, making Brian think about licking them clean, then maybe licking her all over. A nay pantsuit emphasized her long legs and slender waist. She was tall and lovely and so much more than shed ever known in the past. Was she all hed ever wanted? Was Matt right about it being time for him to let go of the past?

The point of the game is to remember as many objects as possible. Im going to walk around with the tray. No one can start writing until I say so. Are we ready?

Brian glanced at Matt who shrugged.

Val grinned. To answer that unasked question, yes, of course you two are going to play. The prize is a facial at a beauty salon near the hospital. If a man wins the game, which is so incredibly unlikely as to not even be worth mentioning, he will give the prize to his significant other. She patted Matts cheek. In your case, that would be me.

Thanks for the reminder, Matt grumbled.

Nicole took off the towel and made a slow circuit of the room. Brian studied the various items. He recognized most of them. A rattle, baby powder, a pair of earrings that Nicole frequently wore, Skys baby bracelet from the hospital and a condom. The lat made him raise his eyebrows, but he didnt say anything. Finally she returned to the kitchen and told them to begin.

Brian wrote quickly but steadily. He mentally reviewed the tray, going clockwise, filling in the spaces. Had there been two cotton swabs or just one? He figured it didnt really matter. After a couple of minutes, Nicole called time. She asked everyone to count up how many items they had. The person with the most had to read his or her list aloud to verify accuracy.

Eleven, Val called out looking smug.

Fourteen, Ali, Jimmys girlfriend said.

Brian counted his list again, but didnt say anything.

How many, Matt? Nicole asked.

Nine.

The women all laughed.

Hey, I got ten. Jimmy called. At least I did better than him.

How could you remember all that? Matt asked.

Nicole settled her gaze on Brian. What about the proud father? How many do you have?

He thought about lying, then figured Nicole would probably be able to tell. Eighteen, he muttered.

There was a collective murmur of surprise.

Really? Nicole said. Want to read them back to me?

Sure. He cleared his throat. A diaper, cotton swabs, an earring, a condom- several women laughed.

Yeah, well, it didnt keep me out of trouble, he said, then continued with his list. Skys hospital bracelet, baby powder, a rattle, a sock, lipstick, a car key, a quarter, two theater tickets, a wedding band- Yours, right? he said, shooting his brother a look.

Matt nodded.

And a pager.

Wow. Nicole picked up the tray and carried it back into the living room. The only two things he missed are the washcloth and the battery. Very impressive, Mr. Haner. Looks like youve got yourself one facial.

Which they both knew hed give to her. Gee, thanks.

Somehow their gazes got locked together. Even though he told himself to look away, he couldnt. Nicole seemed to be having the same problem.

I, um, think its time to cut the cake, she said. Want to help?

Sure.

He excused himself and followed her into the dining room. He knew that they were the center of attention, but right now he didnt care. Instead he pulled her into a corner, out of sight of the family room, and drew her close.

Ive missed you, he told her just before he kissed her.

Me, too. Her words were muffled against his mouth.

She felt so right in his arms, he thought, needing her more than he thought possible. She wrapped her arms around him and deepened the kiss. He cupped her face and pulled back enough to talk.

Stay with me tonight, he said. After the baby shower, Ive missed you.

Ive missed you, too. she smiled. Actually, youd have to throw me out. I already have an overnight bag in my car.

I want to hear about what happened when you went to San Francisco.

Good, because I want to tell you.

The sound of someone clearing her throat made them step apart. Val stood in the doorway of the dining room.

The crowd is getting restless, she said. I have an idea. Why dont the two of you go back and start opening presents, while I work on cutting the cake.

Sounds like a plan, Nicole said and lead the way.

Brian settled down in his chair again, but now he didnt feel so very out of place. As he started to open presents, he found himself thinking about the hours that would follow, about how much he wanted to be with Nicole.

Maybe Matt was right. Maybe it was time to let go of the pas and take a chance on the future. Except he was still just in a band and Nicole was still a doctor. Did they have a prayer of making it work? What about his fear of losing everything he cared about? Would he survive losing her?

He opened the first box Nicole handed him. It was flat and light, so he guessed clothes. Inside was a frilly yellow dress.

Its for summer, Mattie, one of the nurses hed seen around the hospital told him. S I got the six-month size.

Thanks. Its very nice. Sky only has one dress right now.

The next box was lard and square. He shook it, then glanced at the tag. He recognized Nicoles scrawl.

You didnt have to get anything, he told her.

I wanted to. Thats half the fun of a showerbuying a baby present.

That and the pink punch, he said motioning to his still untouched cup.

He tore off the white and pink paper. Inside was a box with a picture of a lamp, the base was a ballerina teddy bear with a matching shade. He pointed his finger at her. Youre the reason that woman at the store kept telling me sucker was backordered.

Absolutely. Once you got serious enough to put up a border print. I knew that Sky had to have the lamp. I bought it about three weeks ago. The woman at the store knew and had been sworn to secrecy.

Matt leaned forward and handed Brian a slim box. Inside was a savings bond in Skys name. For her college fund, Matt explained. its going to be that time before you know it.

College? His daughter? Of course he wanted her to go, but it seemed so far away. Matts gift made him think that the future would be here quicker than hed realized.

Look at all this, Nicole said. Dresses and lamps and money for college. Youre turning into a real dad.

She was right. The baby stuff didnt scare him anymore. Nor did his daughter. No matter what happened, he now knew that he and Sky were going to make it. The question was would they make it alone or would someone else join their little family?