Brian Haner Jr

Brian paused outside the hospital room and thought about what he wanted to say. He knew that Lily wasn't going to be happy with his change of heart, but there was nothing he could do about that. He had as much right to their baby as she did. A quick call to the family lawyer his buisness lawyer had recommendd had confirmed that.

He squared his shoulders and stepped into the room. "Hi," he said when he saw Lily sitting up in bed.

She glanced at him for a second, gave a quick, insincere smile, then pushed the mute button and the remote and silenced the television she'd been watching.

"Brian. I didn't expecto to see you," she said, her voice flat with lack of enthusiasim. "If your here to check up on me, I promise I'm fine. The delivery wasn't much fun, but my doctor is great. She said everything went as expected. I'll be leaving first thing in the morning. In a few weeks I'll be as good as new.

"I'm glad your alright."

He shifted uneasily and pushed his hands into his sweatshirt pockets. He stood about five feet from the bed. The blinds were open, allowing the afternoon light to spill into the room and he could see her clearly. The ordeal of giving birth had left her pale, but still beautiful. Her long silky platinum blond hair had been pulled back into a simple pony tail. The high cheek bones, perfect mouth and wide green eyes were as lovely as when he'd first met her. But during their brief time together, he'd learned that she had no heart.

He couldn't help wondering what he'd seen in her all those months ago. He remembered that they'd met at a fourth of July picnic, and that too many beers had caused them to end up in bed together. He'd thought he was old enough to ignore the appeal of a prety face, but he'd been wrong. Or maybe he'd just been lonely. None of that mattered now. Whatever had first drawn them together had faded and by the end of the weekened they were both content to part company. Until Lily had called a couple of months later to say she was pregnant.

She pursed her lips together. "Brian, your just staring at me. You're not going to get all wierd because of the baby are you?"

"Yes, but not in the way you mean."

Her gaze narrowed. Suddenly features that had been beautiful were now merely pinched. "We've been over this before. What exactly do you want from me? I told you I was pregnant because I thought it was the right thing to do. If I'd known you were going to talk me out of the abortion, I wouldn't have said a word. Now I'm giving it up for adoption. The papers are signed. I'm not going to change my mind."

"I am." he said quietly.

She blinked at him. "What?"

"I haven't signed the papers, and I'm not going to. I want to keep the baby."

"Dammit Brian. What the hell are you thinking? If you have some fantasy about a cozy family with me playing mommy, you can just forget it."

"I don't," he told her. "This isn't about you as far as you're concerned, nothing has to change. I'm going to have a lawyer draw up some papers. Basically you walk away from the kid and I keep her. You don't ask to see her and I don't ask for support. Its just like the adoption, only I'm goin to be the one taking her."

She brushed at her smooth bangs. Her nails were long and painted a dark shade of pink. "Why don't I believe you?"

"I don't know. I'm telling the truth."

She stared at him for a long time. Brian held his breath. He knew that Lily couldn't stop him from keeping his daughter, but she could make things more complicated. Adoption, from her point of view, was much more tidy then the father of her child wanting to muscle in on the action.

"This isn't about you," he said. "It's about me. I don't want anything from you, except for you to sign the papers."

She continued to study him. "And if I don't, you'll haul me into court," She said, her voice resigned. "After all, I've already agreed to adoption, so I've indicated that I have no interest in my child."

"I don't know," he said honestly. "I didn't discuss that with my lawyer."

The bed had been raised so that she could sit up right but still lean against the pillows. Now she lowered the bed a few inches and closed her eyes.

"I have a great job waiting for me in L.A. I'm going to work for an agency that handles really high-powered actors, directors and producers. I'm going to be meeting these clients and entertaining them. This is my chance to move in those kind of circles." She opened her eyes and stared at him. "Its what I've always wanted. I'm beautiful enough that I'll attract the eye of some mogul type and we'll get married. I don't care if its lasts, I just want to get my foot in the door. Once I'm there, I'll make a place for myself." She sighed. "Children have never been a part of my plan. I don't want them. I don't want ours."

Her flat statement shouldn't have surprised him, but it did. He wanted to rage at her, to tell her that he'd just held the most beautiful, perfect creature in the world. How could she walk away from their tiny baby? But he didn't say a word. for one thing, Lily wasn't going to change her mind. For another, selfishly, he wanted her gone. Lily was many things, but maternal wasn't one of them. In this case, their daughter would be better off without her mother around to mess with her head.

"None of your plans are going to change," he said. "All I'm asking is that you sign the papers allowing me sole custody of the baby."

"Do you really think you can do this? Raise a kid on your own? What do you know about babies?"

"Less than nothing," he admitted. "But I'm willing to learn. I can't let her go, Lily. I know that doesn't make sense to you, but I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

Her expression turned wistful. "You're a fool, Brian Haner Jr, but you've got a big heart. I guess that's a start."

"I can't regret her."

Lucy turned away. "I can. I guess that's the difference." She waved her hand toward the door. You know where I live. Have your lawyer draw up the papers and get them to me before the twentith. Thats when I'm leaving for Los Angelos."

She looked back at him. "I don't want this kid showing up in my life twenty years from now. Tell him that."

"Its a her."

"Whatever."

He nodded once there were so many things he could have said, but why bother? He'd gotten what he'd been after. Maybe one day he would understand how someone who was so beautiful and perfect on the outside could be so incredibly ugly on the inside.

"Thanks, Lily. My lawyer will be in touch." He turned to leave.

"Brian?"

He paused and glanced back at her.

She flashed him her best smile, the one that made him saunter across the picnic area to engage her in conversation. This time all he could think of was that he couldn't wait for her to be out of his life forever.

"Thanks for the flowers."

He'd sent her a dozen roses when he'd found out she'd had the baby. He stared at the bright yellow buds, still tightly curled as if afraid to open and show themselves to the world. They were coldly beautiful as she.

"Your welcome," he said and walked out of her room. If all went well, he would never see her again. He prayed that's what would happen.

He walked down the hallway, not really aware of his surroundings. He replayed his first meeting with Lily a coupld of times and knew that while their relationship had been a short-lived mistake, the ramifications were about to change his life forever. Because of his incredibly poor taste in women, he was about to become a father. A smile tugged at his lips. Not a bad trade.

He stopped and glanced around, then realized that he'd made his way back to the nursery. His gaze drifted over the sleeping babies until they stopped on one in particular. He already recognised that precious face. His daughter.

Panic flaired in him again, along with apprehension and about fifteen other forms of "Oh, God, can I really do this?" But none of them were as strong as the sense of rightness in his heart. Maybe he was making a mistake. Maybe he couldn't do it, but he was determined to give it all he had. They would just have to learn this whole parent-kid thing together. She was his daughter and he would die to protect her.