No Title...
Introduction?
My therapist says it would do me good to write everything down. I personally don’t see any point in it at all. I don’t think it will help whatsoever. But hey, doctors orders right?
I’ve been through enough in my life to know I’m not one of the luckiest girls in the world, but I guess it could’ve all been worse. Things could’ve happened differently, I could be dead instead. You know?
Sometimes, actually, I wish it was me instead; but I wouldn’t want Emma to go through any of the horrors that laid themselves upon me after what happened to her that night. And, naturally, I do wish none of it had happened at all. But no matter how much I beg, how much I plead, no matter how much I wish God would just rewind my life and let me relive that night again, with the knowledge I have now, my life continues. I’m left with my broken heart and my severed dignity, only to sit here constantly dwelling on events from my past. Specifically that night, the one that ruined my life. I guess that’s why I’m supposed to write this? So I can learn to let go.
I learned that life is hard, and nothing ever goes as planned. But should you stand by and watch the train leave or jump on and live for ride?
Emma used to say that to me all the time when I would be depressing and pessimistic. She had a way with people, always able to cheer them up. She could have made one of those British guards, who don’t move or show any expression or interest in anything, giggle like a little girl having a tea party.
She was the one I could always count on. She was always there when I needed someone, helping me and generally caring for me. She was just my best friend.
What are you supposed to do when the one person you count on most, the one person you truly believe you can’t live without, just isn’t there one day? I don’t know, because that’s the day that my life began to fall apart.
I’ve been through enough in my life to know I’m not one of the luckiest girls in the world, but I guess it could’ve all been worse. Things could’ve happened differently, I could be dead instead. You know?
Sometimes, actually, I wish it was me instead; but I wouldn’t want Emma to go through any of the horrors that laid themselves upon me after what happened to her that night. And, naturally, I do wish none of it had happened at all. But no matter how much I beg, how much I plead, no matter how much I wish God would just rewind my life and let me relive that night again, with the knowledge I have now, my life continues. I’m left with my broken heart and my severed dignity, only to sit here constantly dwelling on events from my past. Specifically that night, the one that ruined my life. I guess that’s why I’m supposed to write this? So I can learn to let go.
I learned that life is hard, and nothing ever goes as planned. But should you stand by and watch the train leave or jump on and live for ride?
Emma used to say that to me all the time when I would be depressing and pessimistic. She had a way with people, always able to cheer them up. She could have made one of those British guards, who don’t move or show any expression or interest in anything, giggle like a little girl having a tea party.
She was the one I could always count on. She was always there when I needed someone, helping me and generally caring for me. She was just my best friend.
What are you supposed to do when the one person you count on most, the one person you truly believe you can’t live without, just isn’t there one day? I don’t know, because that’s the day that my life began to fall apart.