This Is All A Dream,That's What I'll Be Singing

Ben and I aren't friends. Please don't forget that

"Ok class, we're going to have a project that is going to take you roughly two months to complete."
Cue the moans and sighs.
We were seniors god damn it. We didn't want to do projects still. We'd spent so much time on doing pointless shit already.
"I will partner you up, seeing as last time you picked partners only 4 of you turned in the project. I suppose the rest of you," she glared at all of us, her face turning to look into our eyes, "were just to busy."
Oh please. She'd only let us pick our partners once. That right. One time.
She must've thought that was really something special. I sat there, drawing random pictures on my desk, hunched over so no one could see. So i looked a little guilty, so what? Didn't i always? My hair fell over my face, shielding me from the wrath of Mrs. Wells' words. No one cared, least of all me. A sigh escaped my lips as I pulled out my pilot pen and drew a penguin. A lot of people thought i had 'problems'. They said my sarcasm and smart ass ways were just cover ups. Hiding how upset i was. Oh yeah, i was so torn up inside. Another involuntary sigh came. My look was another way of 'showing my pain'. I was born with dark brown hair, and at the moment that's what it is. But I dye it a lot. And not just normal colors. It was pink once.
My eyes are brown. But what most people say when they are asked about me, it's that it looks like I’m always frowning. I have a set of those 'upside down lips'. Whatever. I didn't care. I wrote poetry, wrote stories, took pictures. I always had to have something to do. Sitting around after all, just wasn't my style.
"Please sit next to your partner."
SHIT!
All this daydreaming has caused me some trouble. Once again. I hadn't heard who i was partnered with. I hadn't heard any of the rules. I wasn't really worried about the latter though. Teachers always gave you a sheet of paper with the rules on it and shit didn't they? That's one problem solved, i thought to myself as i watched everyone else get up and move to other desks.
Son of a-
I hadn't even gotten the sentence out when a stack of books dropped down on my desk. I glared up at the asshole who was responsible, and saw none other than Ben Jorgensen.
"Eh.."
I muttered under my breath.
"I'm not so thrilled either ok?"
"Asshole."
"Bitch."
We glared at each other until it felt like my eyes were going to burst out of my head. Let me tell you a little about Ben. He may look a little nerdy, but he really wasn't. He was that guy that
everyone just looked at. You either loved him, lusted after him, or you hated him. I hated him. He wore small leather jackets and vests over long white sleeved button shirts. His pants were always on the tighter side, and in the winter he always wore a scarf around his next. Most of the time it was checkered. Sometimes though, he'd wear a t-shirt with either some design on it, or a band tee he got from a concert. He had black hair that hung past his eyes. It was straight, and most of the time had a shine. He had hazel eyes that most girls talked about.
"This sucks."
He muttered as he pulled a chair over to my desk and sat in it.
"Tell me about it."

*So that's how it all started. Ben, who I’d known almost all my life, was now my partner. We were sitting in his bedroom, working on the stupid project. Our attentions anywhere else but on each other.
"What do you write in that notebook anyway?"
I glanced up and saw him intently staring. I always carried a notebook with me. It was a torn red one with random pictures and quotes written all over it.
"Why do you care?"
"I was just wondering, ok? We've been working on this project for a month and i know nothing about you."
"Why do you want to?"
He got quiet, shrugged and looked down.
"Fucking forget it, Sarah."
"Whatever."
We 'fought' all the time. And I’m not sure why. It was fun, seeing the frustration in his eyes. Seeing how he balled his fist up and sighed loudly. He was fed up, this i knew. Which is probably why it was so easy to mess with him. The smallest thing would set him off.
"So are you going out with Megan tonight?"
A grin floated onto his face.
"Why do you care?"
He quoted me exactly the way i had quoted him only seconds ago. A scowl
formed on my lips.
"I don’t, I heard a girl talking about you."
"And i care why?"
"Well you do love attention now don't you?"
It was the ultimate low blow. There were always rumors going around saying that Ben would do anything for attention. All the girls he'd been with, or so they claimed, always said he acted like a complete jerk out in public, just so others would notice him. One girl, who goes by the name of Ashley, openly told me that he made out with her heavily at a downtown club while two other girls watched. She went on to say that after Ben 'broke up' with her, she
saw him with one of the girls who had been watching. That girl goes by the name of Abby. So you see, Ben loved attention. At least that's what the rumors said.
"Fuck you."
He'd never actually cursed directly towards me, so i am ashamed to say, i was stunned into silence. And that doesn't happen very often. Sure he told me I was a bitch, but there wasn't really any harm in that right? Not the like the mighty 'fuck you'. Whenever you said that to someone, you were as good as forgotten right? There was no turning back.
"That's just what i heard. I mean, first there was Ashley, then Abby-"
"Who the fuck is Abby?"
He was pissed. Red tinted his cheeks, his eyes dangerously dark.
"You know. The girl from the club."
"I don't know where you're getting your lies from, but someone should look into my life a little better. Maybe then the lie would be more believable. I've never been to a club, except once. And that was to grab my friend PJ who had drank a little to much."
I sat there and looked at him. Was he being honest?
"Maybe you should talk to Ashley then. She's the one who said it."
"I don't care what she said. I know the truth. I'm sick of the rumors though."
"Yeah"
I didn't know what else to say. What could i say? I felt a strange emotion in my stomach that made its way all the way to my throat. I swallowed. The feeling was sympathy, something I hadn't felt in years. So what if he was sort of an asshole, he didn't seem to be that bad of a guy. Of course I already knew that. A little while back Ben and I had actually been friends.
That was when we first entered high school. Before our different sets of friends came along. Before he joined a band and suddenly every girl wanted him. A lot of people actually thought we were dating.
Heat rose to my cheeks as i remembered the rumors that went around. A lot of girls would glare at me with jealousy, and Ben would openly make fun of them. Now it was them who had him, and i was the one glaring.
WHOA
Wait
I don't have a crush on Ben.
Not anymore.
I mean i never did.
"Are you ok?"
"What?"
I snapped my head up and found myself looking at him. I mean really looking at him. His eyes searched mine, and even though he had said 'fuck you' moments before, there was a hint of concern there.
"You're making your thinking sounds. You know, like that humming thing you do in the back of your throat without realizing it?"
"Oh.."
He continued to look at me until i began speaking again.
"I was thinking. About when we first went to high school. The first day. And how i almost punched that girl in the face because she wouldn't stopt alking."
He laughed, a sound that i had almost forgotten. It was almost musical. And his smile, was radiant.
"I remember that. She was horrified after you yelled at her. That was great."
The smile stayed on his face for a few seconds, then was gone. I missed it. We sat in silence, not making any kind of movement. I was daydreaming. About what, i don't remember. But the next thing i know Ben was talking.
"Why don't we hang out anymore?"
"Hmm?"
"I mean... we were really close. You were the only person i talked to. And you didn't show me the flash cards."
I laughed remembering how i stopped talking. I used little index cards with prewritten words on them to answer anyone. The teachers hated it, but Ben thought it was priceless.
"I don't know. We just stopped hanging out with eachother and started hanging out with different people. After you joined Armor, all those chicks grabbed your attention and you didn't listen when I told you they were no good. So I figured if you wanted them, you
could have them. Just not me too."
He was silent. His eyes weren't looking at me, but they were clouded over, like he was thinking something really important.
"I should've listened."
"Why..?"
"Cause I’ve never had a friend half as awesome as you."
I was silent, i looked down.
"Do you want to hang out...i mean other than doing this lame ass project?"
"Sure."
He finally blinked, and saw me. My face grew hot again, along with my ears. He hadn't looked at me that way in 3 years. No one had. And the rush that I felt back when we were freshmen, back when we 'experimented' in the back of his car, flooded all around me.
"Sarah..."
He muttered my name and looked down. I wanted him to kiss me. The feeling hit me like a ton of bricks. All the years pretending I hated him. It was jealousy, wasn't it? I wanted him so bad I was willing to pretend I hated him, to make him notice me. Even though he was calling me names, and I was pissing him off, he still noticed me. Even if it was for the wrong reasons.
And that's all i really wanted.
"Ben.. I-"
He looked up and tilted his head. Before I could speak, he was leaning across the table, capturing my lips with his. A whimper escaped my lips, sounds that he quickly followed with his own. We broke apart, looking at each other, making sure it was all right. And then he was out of his chair, pulling me up with him. Our lips met again. His tongue slipped into my mouth and I melted. It was what I wanted. But it wasn't enough. I dug my nails into his hair pulling him closer. I needed him closer. He was just as eager, pushing me against the wall,
trapping me there, in the corner. He had his hands on both sides of my head, but then they moved down, over my shoulder, grasping my breast and making me moan.
"Ben.."
"I'm sorry.. For being an asshole."
Was all he had time to say before I reattached our lips. He pulled at my belt, I helped him. And then his hand was inside my pants, tracing the sides of my panties, wanting in. I was almost there, and he hadn't even done anything yet. I needed more. I pushed my body up away from the wall, making it easier. My eyes slowly shut as he found me, and pushed in his finger.
"Shit!"
I muttered, my voice thick with passion. He was kissing my ear, whispering my name. His finger all the while moving in and out, making me shake.
"Ben!"
I yelped his name as his hips rocked against mine. I was there. I was flying. In one quick rush, I came, all the passion I felt for him showed. He kissed me softly, tracing from my hairline to my neck. I went to unbuckle his pants but he stopped me with a smile.
"Oh no... there will be another time. And then you can show me how good I make
you feel."

Ben and I, aren't friends. Please don't forget that.
♠ ♠ ♠
I hope you read the introduction if not, click previous!
a/n: I'm not taking credit for this, my bff India wrote it as a one shot/present and i loved it so much i had to make it a series!
What do you think so far?