The Closest Thing We Have To Magic

I slammed the door to my cabin and without even changing into my pajamas, dove under my covers. My breathing was ragged from all the running. I hadn’t ran that strenuous since tennis season conditioning from freshman year. I smiled slightly from that thought. Friendships were made with the upperclassman that year, but one friendship stood out off all my friends. Caitlin. My best friend. Her family were night owls, she would be able to talk to me now. She knew all about my relationship with Nick and everything that was happening here in Canada. I was grateful that I had called her earlier that week and told her all the details.

Pressing down speed dial 8, I let the phone ring to her cell phone.

“Hello?”

“Caitlin, it’s Cady.” I said dejectedly.

Her voice became concerned. “What’s wrong? You sound a little off.”

I sighed. “Nick and I had a fight. Or a disagreement. Whatever you want to call it.”

“A fight? Really? What happened?”

Starting from the phone call from Cory, I summarized the whole encounter. How Nick distracted me when I was on the phone to the part where he completely changed attitudes. How when his face become angry, I actually became a little bit frightened. How the queasy feeling in my stomach still stayed as I had felt when I was yelling at Nick.

“Oh wow. He wouldn’t listen to you?”

“No! That’s what I don’t get.” I groaned and flipped to the other side of my body.

“Well, don’t go apologizing to him or anything. You have no reason to.” She said loyally. “He’s Nick Jonas, he’s going to cave sooner or later.”

“Then why do I feel so guilty?” I asked quietly.

“He’s your boyfriend, and he’s upset with you. Maybe that’s why. But you shouldn’t feel guilty at all.”

“I think I might go talk to him tomorrow if I have a chance to even see him tomorrow.”

“Okay. Text me what happens and call me if you have time.”

“Thanks so much Caitlin. I needed someone to talk to.”

Cailtin’s smiling face popped up into my mind. “No problem. Now go get some sleep. It’s already 11oclock and we both know you’re not capable of staying up any later.”

I chuckled. “I will. Thanks again. Goodnight.”

“Night Cady.”

Turning my phone off, I tossed it onto my bed stand and closed my eyes. The memories from the evening kept replaying over in my mind until I couldn’t take it anymore. I reached out for my phone then remembered what Caitlin said. I really didn’t do anything wrong. But then again, we did have to talk. Tomorrow I thought. Tomorrow I’ll go talk to him. Somewhat comforted by the idea, I gingerly shut my eyes once more and drifted off into uneasy sleep.

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Pulling my jacket closer to my body, I kept my head down as the wind bristled through the chilly air. My feet heavily plodded down the trail on the way to the dance studio. I turned the corner and saw the studio. Walking closer to it, I saw Shay leaning against the wall waiting for me.

I gave her a small smile. “Good morning.”

“Demi told me what happened last night. You look terrible. How are you?” She asked softly. She was right. Sleep hadn’t come easily to me last night. Bags were under my eyes, despite the attempt of covering it with makeup. My eyes were tired just like the rest of my body.

“Could be better. I didn’t get much sleep last night.” I pushed the door open and went inside to escape the cold. I discarded my jacket on the floor with the rest of the dancer’s possessions and began stretching. Shay stepped in next to me and joined me.

“You should know something.” She said distractedly. I looked at her with a quizzical expression.

“What?”

Her eyes met up with mine. “Nick was really upset with himself last night after you left. He couldn’t believe he had reacted like that. He wouldn’t talk to anyone last night. Not even Kevin or Joe.”

I stopped what I was doing and looked at her doubtfully. “Really?”

“Yeah. He was a mess.”

I drooped against the wall. I brought my cold hands to my tired eyes and covered them. All these new facts kept confusing me more.

Shay hesitated. “There’s one more thing.”

I turned my head. “What?”

“We’re practicing the finale today.” Shay searched my face to see how I would take the bit of news.

“So? We practice the finale all the time.” Puzzled, I waited for her to explain.

Shay shook her head. “No I mean we’re rehearsing-” A loud bang came from the entrance of the studio. Kishaya entered with more than her usual assistant following her. Nick and his brothers succeeded Kishaya along with the rest of the cast for the finale. “-with the entire cast.”

My eyes widened. I couldn’t see Nick now. Not when I wasn’t even to hold myself up this morning. I hadn’t even thought about what I was going to say to him when I was going to see him, let alone rehearse with him in the morning. Taking deep breaths, I tried to calm down. I shot Shay a frantic look that cried for help. She sent me an apologetic look; there was nothing she could do.

“Positions everybody!” Kishaya called out.

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I slumped down against the wall and sat down. I touched my head on my upright knees weary from the dancing. Pure hell. That’s what today was. The lack of sleep from last night caught up to me and made me exhausted after dancing. Since no practice came out of last night’s attempted rehearsal at the Jonas cabin, the main cast didn’t do any better than before. It led to multiple times of doing the same steps over and over again.

Nick’s presence in the same room, not even 24 hours since the fight, was worse. I took one glance at him once and then ignored him for the rest of the day. He had opened his mouth once to talk to me but I assumed he decided against it once I turned away. I could feel Nick’s penetrating stares throughout the whole day as he waited for me to look at him. Being stubborn, I never once turned to look at him. Shay kept throwing me glances and mouthing ‘go talk to him’. I severely shook my head. If I was going to talk to him today, it would have to be later and not during rehearsal.

Kishaya had finally said rehearsal was done for the day a few minutes ago. Standing up, I gathered up all my belongings. Shay was waiting for me to walk back to our cabins. I debated if I should look Nick at just once. After a few seconds, I snuck a peek to see where he was. He was standing with his brothers talking to John, the director, who had joined us for the last hour. If someone who had never met Nick before and they had seen him right then, he would look completely fine. But to me, a person who had become incredibly close to him within the last month could tell he wasn’t himself. He wasn’t smiling or making jokes with his brothers and he looked somewhat restless.

Nick chose that moment to turn his head in my direction. His eyes made immediate contact with mine. We held our gaze for a few moments before Kevin nudged him to pay attention to John and asked him to repeat the statement. It was the moment when he looked away that I acknowledged the butterflies I got in my stomach whenever I was with Nick had made their way in my body again. I closed my eyes briefly and walked over to where Shay was waiting.

She raised her eyebrows as I made my way over to her. “You looked at him.”

“It was just for a second.” I grumbled.

“Want to get dinner now? It’s getting late.” Shay pointed out.
“Sure.” I agreed. We went off the path towards the mess hall. The feeling of dread still in my heart needed to be taken off. “What do I do?”

She knew what I was talking about. She kept quiet for a second before responding. “Talk to him. That’s all I can really tell you. Let your heart take it from there.”

I kicked the stones and pebbles that were on the pathway scattering them everywhere. “That’s what I was planning to do.” I paused for a moment. “But I’m scared.”

Shay shoved open the doors to the mess hall and walked inside. She held the door open for me. “Why?”

“I don’t even the answer to that. I guess I’m afraid that he’ll become upset again and start yelling at me again.” I said quietly.

“Don’t think that. You didn’t see him last night. He was more upset with himself that he yelled at you than whatever Corey said.”

“Let’s hope that’s how he is when I talk to him later.” I muttered.

We changed the topic of discussion as we sat down to eat our dinner. Shay was doing her best to distract me from the funky mood I had gone into since last night. She had confidence that everything would work out. Even the stories of her crazy friends from her hometown didn’t uplift my spirits that much. They did occasionally bring a smile to my face from the silly antics her friends created.
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On the way back to our cabins, we entered into a comfortable silence. The cold air was nippier than last night and made my ears a pinkish color from the chilliness. I hugged myself trying to keep warm. Shay began to talk once more about a conversation she had with Roshan. Within a few minutes we had reached the corner where we needed to split up to go to our respective cabins. Shay gave a small hug and gave me a reassuring look that said ‘It’ll be alright.’

I twisted the key to my cabin into the almost invisible keyhole on my doorknob. Gently, I prodded the door open. The inside was completely dark. I frowned. I forgot to put the bedside light on. Most likely I was going to trip over my feet trying to turn it on. I curved my body around and shut the door quietly. Click

I spun around so quickly that I became slightly dizzy. When my vision was reset I was shocked at the sight I saw. I blinked a couple times to make sure I wasn’t imagining things. I wasn’t. There on my bed was Nick Jonas with a single red rose in his hand.

We stood there a few moments staring at each other. He didn’t move his arm as he held out the rose towards me. Silence overpowered the cabin room as no one spoke. I shoved my hands into my pocket. Taking baby steps toward him, I spoke first in a hushed tone. “What are you doing here?”

He hesitated a moment before speaking. “I’m so sorry Cady. I’m sorry that I was such a jerk last night. I’m sorry that I yelled at you. I’m sorry that I doubted you for a single moment when I clearly had no reason to. It was entirely my fault and I accept that. Corey is your friend and only your friend and I should have known that. Jealousy isn’t something I’ve experienced often and when I did last night I hated it. I care about you so much Cady and I was afraid that I was going to lose you after hearing the conversation from last night. But that was so stupid of me to think that. After you left yesterday, the first thing that crossed my mind was ‘I’m so stupid.’ It was stupid for me to even become upset with you for no reason. I’m truly sorry Cady. I never wanted to make you broken up from last night. I was watching you today at rehearsal and you seemed totally out of it. It hurt me to know that I was the reason you were suffering. And then you wouldn’t even look at me once today and I knew that I had to do something to apologize. I’m so sorry Cady. Please forgive me?”

He spoke so sincerely and his tone was straightforward apologetic. His expression on his face was anxious waiting for my answer. I glanced at the floor and then back to Nick. “How did you get in here?”

Nick blinked a couple times. A sheepish grin spread against his face. The arm that wasn’t holding the rose reached out behind his neck. “Yeah, about that. I broke in. I opened it from the outside. Hope you don’t mind?”

Checking to see if he was serious, I squinted in the darkness to the direction of my window. Sure enough, the window was propped up. I took bigger steps towards Nick and lightly placed my hands on his arms. I pulled the rose out of Nick’s grasp and brought up to my face.

I smiled at him. “It smells good.”

Nick snickered. “And I forgive you.” I added quietly.

His face immediately relaxed. Moving his hands up and down against my arms, he looked in my eyes. “I’m sorry for everything I said last night. I didn’t mean any of it.”

I moved my eyes away from his. “I know.” I brought my vision back to his face instantly. “But Nick?”

“What is it?”

“Please don’t ever yell at me again.” I pleaded softly. Nick’s face cringed at the mental image. “I was so scared last night. I thought I had done something wrong.”

Nick brought his hands up to my face and cradled it in his hands. “Don’t ever think that. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was all me last night. I’m sorry that I tore you up like that. I never meant for that to happen.”

“It’s okay.” I gently removed his hands from my face and brought mine up to his. I leaned my face up towards him and attached my lips to his. Nick dropped his hands to my waist and pulled me closer to his body. I slowly moved my arms to around his neck. His soft lips moved in sync with mine as my fingers intertwined with his curls. The kiss was soft and sweet. His kisses always left me dizzy and always made me want more. Like our other kisses, it was captivating and left me breathless. Starting to lose air, I pulled back regretfully. Nick touched his forehead against mine and smiled his famous smile. “You are quite amazing Cady Greens.”

Now I'm speechless,
over the edge,
I'm just breathless,
I never thought that I'd catch this love bug again
Hopeless, head over heels,
In the moment,
I'd never thought that I'd get hit by this love bug again