I Never Wanted This Lifestyle for Her

-Part Fourty-Four-

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Gerard's**POV

JJ ran from my arms, crying, and slammed her door as Frank walked back inside.

"Should we go talk to her?" Frank hesitated as I shook my head.
"She needs some time alone." I replied as he sighed in defeat.

He soon made his way back upstairs, moping as I stayed downstairs waiting for JJ to either come back out of her room, or for me to fall asleep on this couch, reading.

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I fell asleep, typical, but when I woke up JJ's door was slightly open.
I silently tip-toed to JJ's bedroom door, listening to her play a song from her guitar.
I soon realized, she was singing it too, and then I noticed the song she was singing was the very own she use to sing when she was little.

And as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood
And as we're touching hands..
And as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood..
And as we're falling down
I'll see your eyes
And in this pool of blood
I'll meet your eyes
I mean this
Forever

I smiled as she threw her head back and sighed.
I opened the door as she glanced at me.

She narrowed her eyes at me and asked, "How long have you been standing there?"

I laughed slightly and sang the last verse to her as her eyes went wide.

"Dad! You should have at least made yourself visible, and not stand there in my doorway." She protested as I shrugged and sat on her bed, as she was sitting on a beanie bag.
"I didn't think you would mind. Since the door was open slightly, and you never cared when you were three."
She bit her lip then responded, "I'm not three anymore."

It kind of hit me like a brick.
Because just as much as I wanted her to be a little girl again, she was still growing up.
She wasn't that three year old, that could sing to me, or ask me silly questions about being a grown up, or still not know about boys.
She was 13, and in three months she would be 14.
Sure, she would always be mine, and Frank's little girl, but it was just different.
Being a parent makes you see that life goes by fast.
At least, faster then you think it does.
I blinked hard, forcing my tears away as I forgot about JJ there.

"Dad?" She asked quietly as I inhaled sharply, and pulled myself together.
"Your right." I said weakly as I watched her set her guitar on the ground.
"B-but im still your little girl dad." She stuttered as she wrapped her arms around me.

I smiled as I slowly wrapped my arms around her.
She sat in my lap and laid her head on my collar bone as I sighed into her dark hair.
Suddenly, she was out of my lap, and picking up the guitar.
She sighed heavily and said, "Don't make fun of me."
I smiled as she sat back down in the beanie bag, and started playing while singing.

My heart has lost its wind now.
Broken like a dead sail.
My love has drifted out to sea.
My body has been claimed.
Soul has been shipped away.
Can't feel the sand between my toes.
We set the wrong course and headed due north.
That's where we went wrong.
We were young and learning steady hearts hate turning.
That's where we went wrong.

She sang the lyrics to 'Where We Went Wrong' by The Hush Sound as I listened to her voice fill the room.
She finished the song and I clapped as she blushed a little.

"Now what I don't get is that you think you have a horrible voice. But then again, I'm not a 13 year old girl." I said as she laughed.
"I don't know. I think I hit notes wrong, so that would make me a bad singer." She replied as I smiled.
"No one is perfect. So what makes you any different? Besides, you can sing however you want. No one is here to critisize you, especially me." I explained as she shrugged.
"I guess I can sing to you, and dad, but no one else." She said quickly as I laughed and stood up.
"Are you hungry?" I asked as she nodded and followed me out to the living room.
"Where's daddy?" She asked as I hadn't seen him also.
"Upstairs, still.." I trailed of as she ran upstairs as I started making spaghetti.

JJ's**POV

"Daddy?" I asked as I heard a grunt from the bed and a lamp turn on.
"Sorry for waking you up." I mumbled as he shook his head and rubbed his face.

I stood at the end of the bed awkwardly as he was still trying to wake up.
Once he noticed the quietness he patted the spot where Gerard laid and offered me to sit down.
I agreed and sat down next to him as he sighed.

"What do you want to do with your dog?" He asked me softly as I hadn't really thought about that question.

You can't really, bury, a dog.
Especially a big one.
Plus, he needs to be somewhere he likes, not in the ground in a backyard.

"I think, we should cremate him, and spread his ashes, somewhere he liked." I said as he nodded in agreement.
"I think he would like that." He said as I laughed a little.

Then another awkward silence fell over us as I heard daddy curse downstairs at the oven.

"Dad, where are we going for Christmas?" I changed the subject, throwing a question out at him instead.
"Grandma and Grandpa's house." He replied quickly as I sighed.

I loved Grandma and Grandpa, but I wish I could spend Blake and my very own first Christmas together.
Soon, my thoughts changed to what happened in my bedroom.
Where my very own dad almost broke down in front of me, cause I wasn't a little girl anymore.

"Do you still wish I was three?" I asked Frank suddenly as he looked at me with an upraised eyebrow.
"Why do you ask?" He asked a question to my question as my shoulders fell again.

Should I tell him what happened in my bedroom?

I shrugged and told him anyways.

"The only reason Gerard and I want you to be younger is because so we don't have to lose you faster then we already are." He said as I let out a big sigh.
"But, I'm right here, and not really going anywhere fast." I replied as he shrugged a little.
"It may not seem like you have a life time till you actually grow up, and be able to move out and things, but to Gerard and I, we only see it that we have about four more years to be your parents." He explained as my heart sunk.
"You'll always be my parents. When I do get a life on my own, i'm not going to abandon and forget the two people who cared and loved me my whole life." I told him as he smiled.
"I would never do that." I added as he nodded.

I hugged him as he hugged me back and kissed my forehead.

"I promise." I mumbled against his shirt as he rocked me back and forth slightly.